Posts Tagged ‘bullying’

“Sticks and Stones May break my bones…”

In Child Abuse, Child Development, Choice, Drug Use, Education, Families, Parenting, Values, Violence on May 3, 2016 at 6:07 am

 bullying 2Cinthia Jahnsen


A look into bullying, it’s effects and how we can help.


We have all heard the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”. I remember saying that to kids who were teasing me or saying hurtful things as a kid. But the truth is, words do hurt. And believe it or not, words can have a longer lasting effect than the “sticks and stones”. So why is it so hard for kids (and sometimes us adults) to remember to speak kindly and be nice?


Bullying has been around forever. I think in the past bullying was not a verb but a noun. She is a bully or he is a bully. But now days, schools, educators and families are taking bullying very seriously. The subject of bullying seems to have been a growing topic in todays world. Perhaps it is the increased news coverage of teen suicides or perhaps TV shows such as glee, or movies like mean girls have really intensified what we perceive as the goings on at our children schools. We no longer can brush aside bullying behavior as, “kids being kids” or brushing things off as unimportant. As a parent, it is important to know how empower your child with the tools needed to be strong, full of self-confidence and ways to protect themselves from the bullies that will come and go inevitable throughout their whole lives. There will always be the bully at work, at school, at the office, at the store and children and parents need to know how to handle sticky situations.


Who is bullied?


Bullying can happen to anyone no matter race, gender, or popularity.


Research shows that over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying and 16,000 teens skip school because of bullying each day. Bullying is not just physical aggression it can be verbal physical or cyber. Bullying does not occur to only one gender but comes in all shapes and sizes, male and female, popular or unpopular. Bullies can one day be a friend and the next day form groups that are dedicated to ridicule and tease this so called “friend”. We all remember the childhood and high school drama (whether we want to or not) we went through as kids. As much as we wish times have changed enough to prevent the same cruel behavior to happen to our own children, this is not the case. At least when we were kids, you could have a safe haven at home where you could escape the negativity, but with cyber-bullying becoming more and more of an issue, there is almost no where to run.


What is Bullying?


Bullying is more than stealing lunch money. There is psychical, verbal, relational and cyber bullying.


Although, most people think of bullying as psychical aggression, a lot of bullying is done behind the scenes in forms of verbal abuse, friendship drama, and cyber bullying. Here are a few forms of bullying you may have not noticed before:


Psychical: Psychical bullying includes hitting, pushing, spitting, taking other possessions, or stealing lunch or lunch money. Psychical bullying is more often done by boys than girls.


Verbal: Verbal bullying can be anything from name calling to taunting and constant teasing. It can also be in the form of eye rolling or hostile facial expressions.


Relational: Relational bullying is intentionally leaving someone out of a group, exclusion, ostracizing, spreading gossip and rumors or defaming a persons reputation. Relational bullying is more often done by girls than boys.


Cyber: Cyber-bullying is becoming more and more of a problem in recent years due to the number of children with access to the internet and involvement in social media sights such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Cyber-bulling, unlike other forms of bullying, has no escape and has long lasting hurtful effects. According to the U.S. Department of Education one out of every four students (22%) report being bullied during the school year.


Effects of Bullying


Don’t just brush it off. Bullying can have long term effects.


As a parent, I need to help and coach my child through difficult relationship issues in order for them to find success in dealing with hard situations in the future. Not all cases of mean behavior are considered bullying. We all are aware of times where we have said unkind words, or have spoken in anger and later realized our mistakes and tried to rectify them. Bullying is mean, rude, and hurtful behavior, but it is most likely true bullying when it happens on a regular basis. Studies have suggested some problems children can develop and take with them into adulthood as a bully victim. But not only are victims at risk, those who are the bully are at risk for adult maladjustment as well.


The victim:

Social Anxiety





Low self-esteem

Poor school adjustment

Sleep difficulties


The Bully:

Academic problems

Substance abuse

Violent behavior late in adolescents and adulthood


Intervention is key


Make a difference, and stand up for what is right.


Isn’t it interesting that peers have such a strong influence over their friends at school? Did you know the majority of bullying incidences can be stopped when a peer intervenes on a victims behalf? That is more effective than a teacher, parent or principle intervening. Children and youth have a strong influence on those around them even if they don’t know it. Words like, “Leave him alone”, “Stop it!”, or “Come on, let’s get out of here.” can help stop bullying and reduce the risk of reoccurrence. According to the “The Youth Voice Research Project: Victimization and Strategies” “students who experience bullying report that allying and supportive actions from their peers (such as spending time with the student, talking to him/her, helping him/her get away, or giving advice) were the most helpful actions from bystanders. Students who experience bullying are more likely to find peer actions more helpful than an educator or self-actions.”


On the flip side, if parents and teachers really want to help the best way is to be available to listen and follow through. The most unhelpful and potentially harmful thing a teacher or parent can do in bullying situations is tell the student to figure it out on their own, be told the bullying is being caused by the victims own behavior or by telling the student to stop tattling. Help your child, give them verbal resources and help them see the importance of helping others in times of need and stand up for their friends and peers in bullying situations.


Parents and teachers roles


Be a support and be a friend to your child. They need your help, example and listening ear.


If your child is a victim of bullying, help them to know they are loved, and don’t ignore the problem. If your child is the bully, help them to see the consequences of their actions and coach them through that as well. Considering the evidence behind bullying and its effects on children, it is clear that children, parents, families and schools would benefit from looking beyond just tattling, girls being girls and boys being boys, and looking more deeply into the issues and really listening, and talking to your child. You can make a difference and so can your child.

Bully Business

In Child Development, Education, Government on May 9, 2013 at 8:19 am

BullyMarlene Hinton

The nice little elementary school where I work is plastered with reminders to refrain from bullying, something I suspect most parents heartily endorse.  At the same time, I wonder how many of these children will grow up to be professional bullies.

I wonder that because bullying has been institutionalized in this country.  It is difficult to name a government-supported agency or -endorsed group that doesn’t actively engage in bullying.  IRS, EPA, FDA, OSHA, TSA, ACLU, AFL-CIO, NEA – acronyms all for bullying.”  Who are the targets?  All who don’t agree with them, who don’t pay “enough,” who claim a right to believe and act according to Constitutional law.  We are bullied for oppressing women, invoking God’s blessing in public, thinking babies have a right to live, believing our borders should be secure, making profits through labor and intelligence, supporting traditional marriage, taking spots in colleges or businesses that could be filled by “others” (regardless of qualifications), using electricity or petroleum, owning guns, not supporting the spending habits of politicians.

We are bullied for believing, saying, and doing anything that someone could take offense at, like offering a prayer at graduation, calling terrorism by its name, or supposing that the new life created by husband and wife – their own child – is NOT “community” property.  Consider these current news items:

In St. Johns County, Florida, the FFRF (Freedom From Religion Foundation) is threatening any school district with a lawsuit for “adopting a policy allowing inspirational messages, including prayer, at graduation.”  Such is protected under the First Amendment in addition to Florida law which specifically allows student prayer.  However, the bullies of FFRF,  ACLU,  and Anti-Defamation League are not only patrolling graduations, but offering scholarships to youth activists [Future Bullies of America?] to help make sure “everyone’s [being] reasonable” – their term for being afraid to pray!

It’s interesting that the origin of most of these groups was to protect us from being bullied by “big business.”  In fact, they have replaced smaller bullies with a menacing monstrosity that includes taking every penny we earn through the middle of May (this year; it goes up next year) to pay the thugs that ensure our compliance.  Scandals, fraud, and cover-ups define the SS-like taxpayer funded organizations that bully citizens on every front.

Other officially sanctioned bullies protect children from their parents.  Current examples include that of a California couple whose 5-month-old son was “snatched” by police after the parents took their son from Sutter Memorial Hospital to get a second opinion at Kaiser Permanente Hospital.  The Romeike family fled Germany in hopes of finding freedom to teach their children their own values at home.  Despite being granted asylum in the U.S. by an immigration judge, the Holder-run DOJ (alias “Gun Runners”) had that verdict overturned.  Some parents in New Jersey gave their 11-year-old his birthday wish – a gun.  Police showed up with a child services official (who refused to reveal her identity) and demanded to search their home without a warrant.

Now we have a Common Core State Standards Initiative to give some government-supported private corporations privileged (up until now) information regarding intimate details of your child’s life, including psychological testing and treatments.  In fact, those corporations get to CREATE the testing instruments that determine your child’s behavioral health as well as academic status.  You parents, however, play an important role.  You pay for it.  And if you’re not happy about that?  Well, talk to the Bully Department.  But you may have to take a number and get in line.


Michigan Student Expelled from Classroom for stating beliefs regarding Homosexuality

In Homosexuality, Parental Rights, Religious Freedom, Schools on November 22, 2010 at 5:08 am

An economics teacher wears a purple t-shirt to class to show his support for homosexual students, badgers a student for wearing a belt buckle that the teacher didn’t agree with, and then throws another student out of class because the student states that he disagrees with homosexual behavior.  The teacher was suspended and can’t figure out why.  Could it be because he should have kept to teaching economics and not thought it was his job to do indoctrinate his class with his own personal agenda?   Badgering students, refusing to accept their viewpoint, and then screaming at them in front of the rest of the class should probably be on the list too.

The school district in Howell, Michigan, has been the center of a controversy for several weeks.  The teacher, Jay McDowell, has unleashed the teachers union, gay activists, and the media upon the district.  The district recently released written statements from students who were in the classroom at the time in an effort to show, without bias, what occurred in the classroom that day.  You can read more on this story here.

Let’s hope that the school district does not back down on this one.  These students who were expelled by this teacher were not disruptive, they were not bullying; they were simply expressing their view…after the teacher asked.

Dictionary.com gives this definition of a bigot:  “a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.”  Mr. McDowell certainly exemplifies that, all the while he was screaming similar epithets at his students.  Want to talk about a bully.


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