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What all Girls Should Know before Having Sex

In Abstinence, AIDS, Child Development, Cohabitation, Education, Feminism, Health Care, Marriage, motherhood, Parenting, Research, Sex Education, Uncategorized, Values on April 16, 2013 at 11:59 am

Miriam Grossman

Rachel Allison

Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D. worked at a campus counseling center for more than 10 years.  The young women who came to her were in crisis. They were “working hard to fulfill their dreams:  a college education, maybe grad school, a great career, and—at some point—a home, husband, and kids.”  But they come to her office in tears because of struggles and setbacks caused by decisions and regrets. “She’s already involved with the wrong guy, or infected with genital warts or herpes.  She’s already lost a great relationship, missed an opportunity, or failed a midterm.  I’m her doctor, but all I can do is sit there, listen, and hand her tissues.”

Dr. Grossman’s book “Unprotected” should be a must read for every teenager in the United States, Canada, England, France…ok, the world. But until parents and youth leaders can get them their must read copy, here are a few things Dr. Grossman has prepared for young women to read before the regrets begin …information young girls should know before sexual intimacy.

1.  Intimacy promotes attachment and trust.

Intimate behavior floods your brain with a chemical that fuels attachment. Cuddling, kissing, and sexual contact release oxytocin, a hormone that announces: “I’m with someone special now. Time to switch love on, and caution off.  When oxytocin levels are high, you’re more likely to overlook your partner’s faults and take risks you otherwise wouldn’t…

When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green.  It plays a major role in what’s called “the biochemistry of attachment.”  Because of it, you could develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with you. You might think of him all day, but he can’t remember your name.

2.  Science confirms:  alcohol makes him hot…when he’s not.

Science has confirmed the existence of “beer goggles”—when a person seems more attractive to you after you’ve had a few drinks….Drinking affects the nucleus accumbens, the area of the brain used to determine facial attractiveness.  It’s probably one of several reasons that casual, high-risk sex is often preceded by alcohol consumption.

3.  A hook-up usually leads to regret.

A recent study of  the hook-up culture at Princeton University reveals:  Before the hook-up, girls expect emotional involvement almost twice as often as guys; 34% hope “a relationship might evolve.”  Guys, more than girls, are in part motivated by hopes of improving their social reputation, or of bragging about their exploits to friends the next day.

After the hook-up: 91% of girls admit to having feelings of regret, at least occasionally.  Guilt and ‘feeling used’ are commonly cited, and overall, 80% of girls wish the hook-up hadn’t happened. Other studies have shown: 84% of women said that after having sex a few times, …they begin to feel vulnerable and would at least like to know if the other person cares about them.

As the number of casual sex partners increased, so did signs of depression in college women.  49% of students whose hook-up included intercourse never see one another again, and less than 10% of “friends with benefits” develop into romances.

4.  A younger cervix is more vulnerable to infection.

Your cervix, the entrance to your uterus, has a vulnerable area one cell thick, called the transformation zone. It’s easy for HPV (the human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts, and even cervical cancer) to settle there. That’s why most teen girls are infected from one of their first sexual partners.  By adulthood the transformation zone is replaced with a thicker, tougher surface.  So it’s wise to delay sexual activity, or, if you’ve already started, to stop.

Even though these infections are common, and usually disappear with time, learning you have one can be devastating. Natural reactions are shock, anger, and confusion. “Who did I get this from, and when? Was he unfaithful? Who should I tell?” and hardest of all: “Who will want me now?”

These concerns can affect your mood, concentration, and sleep.  They can deal a serious blow to your self-esteem…and to your GPA.

The HPV vaccine is a major achievement, but the protection it provides is limited.  You are still vulnerable to other infections like herpes, Chlamydia, HIV, and non-covered strains of HPV.  And of course no vaccine prevents a broken heart.

5.  He may not know he has HPV or herpes.

Most guys who have a sexually transmitted infection don’t know it….it’s easiest to transmit herpes or HPV when warts or sores are present, but it can also happen at other times, when everything looks OK. Condoms only reduce the risk by 60-70%.

6.  The rectum is an exit, not an entrance.

And about those other sexual activities…

Having more than five oral-sex partners has been associated with throat cancer. Turns out that HPV can cause malignant tumors in the throat, just like it does in the cervix.

In a study of sexually active college men, HPV was found both where you’d expect—the genital area—and where you wouldn’t: under fingernails.  Yes, you read that right.  Researchers now speculate whether the virus can be shared during activities considered “safe,” like mutual masturbation.

According to the Centers for disease Control, approximately 30% of all women will have had anal intercourse by the age of 24.  Even with condoms, this behavior places them at increased risk of infection with HIV and other STDs.  For example, the risk of HIV transmission during anal intercourse is at least 20 times higher than with vaginal intercourse.

The government website, www.fda.gov, provides no-nonsense advise about avoiding HIV:  “Condoms provide some protection, but anal intercourse is simply too dangerous to practice.”

The rectum is an exit, not an entrance.  Anal penetration is hazardous.  Don’t do it.

“Young women are bombarded with the message: “Exploring and experimenting—as long as you’re “protected”—can be safe, satisfying, and beneficial.”

“Don’t fall for it.  It’s easy to forget, but the characters on Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City are not real.  In real life, Meredith and Carrie would have warts or herpes.  They’d likely be on Prozac or Zoloft.  Today a woman cannot have so many partners with paying a price….We’re fighting a horde of bugs, and the bugs are winning.  It’s no longer enough to communicate with your “partners,” get tested, and use condoms.”

“Any genital contact with another person is a serious matter. A single encounter can have life-long consequences, especially for a woman. That’s not sexist, that’s biology—your biology. Ignorance or denial of this fact will only increase your vulnerability.”

“You’re in control, it’s all in your hands.  The distress that often follows casual sex is 100% preventable.  Life may throw you some curve balls, but STDs, and encounters you’d rather forget, are burdens that you can avoid.”

“Listen to the lesson of hard science:  It’s wise to be very, very careful about who you allow to get intimately close to you.”

Dr. Grossman concludes:  “I believe in you.  And I don’t want to see you in my office.  Now go pursue your dreams.”

This information was taken from the booklet, Sense & Sexuality, prepared by Dr. Miriam Grossman for college coeds.

Free Birth Control: There may be Pros but don’t Discount the Cons

In Abortion, Abstinence, AIDS, Birth Rate, Cohabitation, Education, Feminism, Health Care, motherhood, Population Control, Sanctity of Life, Values on April 9, 2013 at 8:38 pm

Rachel AllisonCouple at dinner

This week I received an email from a good friend. Among other news, she wrote that she had gone to pick up her birth control pills and was told, “No Charge.”

My first thought? “It has begun! Unrestricted sex for everyone!

With her email she sent a link to an article  entitled  “Free Birth Control Means Drastic Drops in Unplanned Pregnancies.” The article triumphantly touts that  “the number of unplanned pregnancies and abortions didn’t just go down, they plummeted.” This was the result of a study that was done between 2007 and 2011.

“Birth control was offered to more than 9,000 St. Louis teens and adults who were also educated about their options. The study subjects were aged 14 to 45…. All were considered at risk of unplanned pregnancies and were willing to try a new birth control method.”

Results?…”Drum roll: The free birth control program reduced unplanned pregnancies substantially and cut the abortion rate by 62  to 78 percent over the national rate…

The results were published online recently in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology. They found that from 2008 to 2010, the abortion rate ranged from 4.4 to 7.5 for every 1,000 women. For 2008 (the last year calculated) the national abortion rate was 19.6 per 1,000 women.”

“The birth rate among the girls aged 15 to 19 in the study was 6.3 per 1,000. That’s far below the U.S. rate of 34.3 for every 1,000 girls of that age range.”

The article was a “feel good” read.  We should cheer the results and expect no less from Obamacare’s free birth control mandate.

However, I hit reply to my friend’s email and sent her an article of my own that I’m sure dashed her jubilation to pieces. It’s title, 24,000 U.S. Women Become Infertile Every Year From Undiagnosed STIs”  tells in part the disheartening results of unabated sexual freedom.

 “Many tend to think of HIV or maybe syphilis as the serious one. But gonorrhea and chlamydia can and do cause a lot of infertility. Twenty-four thousand women in the U.S. become infertile every year as a result of undiagnosed STIs according to the same CDC data. Most women who have chlamydia or gonorrhea have no symptoms, which make awareness and access to screening especially important. We’re still catching so few of the cases. Among 15-24 year-olds infected with Gonorrhea only 200,000 of the estimated 570,000 who have the infection are diagnosed and treated.

Chlamydia:  Only 1 million of the  estimated 1.8 million are diagnosed and treated.

After I sent the email I remembered an interview I read recently touting a book written by Ms. Donna Freitas entitled, “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy.” According to the author students have come to realize that even though “hook ups” are supposed to symbolize the modern mind set,  “Don’t get attached,” many students are finding that it is almost impossible to “walk away emotionally unscathed and not caring.”  They’re just not good at it.  I haven’t read the book, but Ms. Freitas claims that it is the males who are being hurt.  I will have to read her book to figure out her reasoning.

Dr. Miriam Grossman’s book entitled “Unprotected” which I have read sights the opposite.  It is the young women whose lives are being robbed of the normalcy that accompanies healthy, loving, and loyal relationships.

After reading “Unprotected” I had a knot in my stomach that made me physically sick.

This sexual freedom that is supposedly liberating both male and female from “all consequences” is a big lie.  The men involved may be dealing with concern and regret, but it is the women who are being hurt…wounded…damaged…injured…I can’t find a strong enough word that describes the consequences to a woman having sex with multiple partners.  Over time the giving of herself, and then the rejection that follows will destroy a woman…if not physically, then emotionally.

Katie Collins, Research Assistant to Dr. Grossman wrote, “Our culture does not properly honor sexual intimacy, and the cost is the health and hearts of countless young people.”

Sex without consequences is one of the biggest lies being disseminated across this country.  Free contraceptives may reduce unwanted babies from becoming the victims of this sex-crazed society, but young women of caliber are being broken, confused, misled and defeated.  That is a travesty in this world of “caring” and “compassion” and so called “women’s rights.”

“Hooking Up”—Is it Really Worth it?

In Abstinence, AIDS, Child Development, Cohabitation, Education, Families, Feminism, Health Care, Media, motherhood, Population Control, Research, Sanctity of Life, Sex Education, Sexually Transmitted Disease, The Family, Values on January 8, 2013 at 9:26 am

stdRachel Allison

Last week I wrote about Hydeia Broadbent, a young woman’s crusade to stop HIV/AIDS.

This week I want to write about some of the “lesser” sexually-transmitted diseases and other problems that are caused by “hooking up.”

There are 19 million new infections of sexually transmitted gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis yearly, which cost $17 billion to treat each year.  But there are others—human papillomavirus, herpes, genital warts, hepatitis, trichomoniasis, and scabies, to name just a few.  The World Health Organization says that there “are more than 30 different sexually transmissible bacteria, viruses and parasites.”  Treatment for those in the United States is also in the billions of dollars per year—that is when they’re treatable and not drug resistant.

Assuming that everyone who is having sex is aware of STDs,  I am quite sure that they don’t understand the consequences that those diseases will bring to their lives.  One woman tells her story when she learned she had Genital Herpes.  I can’t imagine the emotional trauma such a discovery would cause.  As a teenager my doctor told me I had athlete’s foot, and emotionally I felt “dirty” until the creams and ointments cleared up the fungus.

Unfortunately, casual sex is expected by too many, and practically revered by  leftists.  Enter Sandra Fluke publicly demanding that free contraception be given to all sexually-active women. I wonder why someone didn’t argue that the monetary cost of complimentary contraception is miniscule compared with the cost of treating the STD’s that will be transmitted during all that “free” sex.

The facts:

  • According to a recent CDC (Center for Disease Control) survey only 60% of high-school students who have had sex used a condom the last time they had intercourse.

50% of HS students say they’ve had sex at least once. (This statistic may be low because many don’t consider oral sex as “sex.”)

  • According to the AP article entitled “1 in 4 teen girls has a sexually transmitted disease” not only did 25 percent of teenage girls have an STD, “among those who admitted to having sex, the rate was even more disturbing—40 percent had an STD.”  Black girls suffered worst:  48 percent of them had an STD.

The National Cancer Institute at the National Institute of Health stated that the human papillomavirus, which is “spread through direct skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, and oral sex, causes virtually all cervical cancers and most anal cancers and some vaginal, vulvar, penile, and oropharyngeal cancers (cancers in the middle part of the throat.)” And the risk isn’t limited to women. The title of a 2011 NBCNews.com article adequately sums up the situation:  “Cancer spike, mainly in men, tied to HPV from oral sex.”  The article added that “we can expect some 10,000 to 15,000 patients with the oropharyngeal cancers per year in the United States, with the great majority having HPV-positive (cancers.) “High risk HPV infections account for approximately 5 percent of cancers worldwide.”

According to the CDC, “Chlamydia and gonorrhea are important preventable causes of infertility,” even though “most women infected with Chlamydia or gonorrhea have no symptoms.  There are “an estimated 2.8 million cases of Chlamydia and 718,000 cases of gonorrhea that occur annually in the United States.” Each year untreated STDs cause 24,000 women in the US to become infertile.”  STD’s cause approximately one-fourth of all infertility in women, and treatment to rectify infertility can be very costly.

I won’t elaborate on how STD’s affect babies.  But babies can get the dread disease from their mothers causing stillbirths, low birth weight (less than five pounds), conjunctivitis (eye infection) pneumonia, neonatal sepsis (infection in the baby’s blood stream), neurologic damage, blindness, deafness, acute hepatitis, meningitis, chronic liver disease, and cirrhosis.

STD’s truly are “the gift that keep on giving.”

Again I will ask, “Where is the outcry?”  If there were enough voices outraged by the outright disregard of the issue that is bringing so much emotional and physical pain, death and monetary waste, maybe…just maybe we could help bring this deception to the forefront.

Modern-day Russian Roulette

In Abstinence, AIDS, Cohabitation, Courts, Drug Use, Education, Families, father, Grandparents, Health Care, Homosexuality, Parenting, Sexually Transmitted Disease, The Family, Values on January 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm

russian-rouletteRachel Allison

At birth, Hydeia Broadbent was abandoned at the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas where Patricia and Loren Broadbent adopted her as an infant. Although her HIV condition was congenital, she was not diagnosed as HIV-positive with advancement to AIDS until age three. The prognosis was that she would not live past the age of five. Now more than 20 years later, Broadbent spends her time spreading the message of HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention by promoting abstinence and safe-sex practices (for people who choose to have sex

As an early recipient of anti-viral treatments that made AIDS a livable disease, she could have used her platform to emphasize the positives of HIV when coupled with modern medicine.  She could have chosen to give HIV/AIDS patients hope and the promise of beating the odds.

Not Hydeia.  She doesn’t sugar coat the consequences of the disease even when drugs promise a long and somewhat productive life. “There are days when I can’t get out of bed.  Sometimes I am so sick my mornings are spent with my head hung over the toilet.”

Every morning she takes her cocktail of five pills. Hydeia’s medicine costs $3,500 to $5,000 a month.

“There’s so much misinformation.  People think there’s a cure…but there is no cure.”  A positive test result is no longer a death sentence, says Hydeia, “but it is a life sentence.”

“It’s always there.  You’re always going to have HIV or AIDS.  You’re always going to be taking medicine.  You’re always going to be going to the doctor’s office.  You’re always going to be getting your blood drawn.”

Tell that to the millions who can’t fathom contracting HIV/AIDS (or any other STD for that matter.) “Hooking Up” is as common in today’s loose society as chopping wood was for my grandparent’s.

Legislators are outlawing anything and everything so that our society is safe.  The food we eat has to pass strict inspection.  The vehicles we drive, the toys our children play with, the fabric used to make our children’s clothing, roadways, walkways, speed limits…We have legislation in place to protect and defend just about everything.

And yet there are tens of thousands across the globe being exposed to a disease that is more threatening and costly than society will openly and publicly admit. Where is the outcry? The target audience seems to be oblivious to the “Russian Roulette” they are playing.

We need more Hydeia Broadbents educating and laying out the cold hard facts about a disease that can and should be contained and eradicated…Not with condoms.  Condoms have proven to be bogus protection. It can only be eradicated with a value system that teaches self-control and even self-denial…something almost unheard of in today’s society.

Despite the harsh realities of HIV/AIDS and the supposed public awareness, the National Center for Health Statistics, show that in the United States, “for all races combined in the age group 15-24 years, HIV/AIDS moved from the 12th leading cause of death in 2009 to the 11th cause of death in 2010.” It was the 7th leading cause of death in 2010 for the age group 25-44 years.”   Where is the outcry? This is the elephant in the room that is destroying lives, and yet the target audience seems  oblivious to the destruction.  They continue to play with a fire that doesn’t just burn, it consumes.  Would it be taboo to legislate activity so intimate?  Apparently so.

Parents and grandparents, and the Hydeia Broadbents of the world, it is up to us to educate and raise the warning voice that will save lives in this promiscuous society where “if it feels good…” is accepted without thought of consequence or outcome.

The Reality of War

In Abortion, AIDS, Cohabitation, Divorce, Drug Use, Families, Feminism, Homosexuality, Pedophilia, Pornography, Same-Sex Marriage, The Family, Values on May 16, 2012 at 9:41 am

war

Rachel Allison

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I ever heard my dad talk about his experiences during World War II, and then it was because we asked questions that helped him open up and talk about them.

He was just 18 when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. He and my future Mom heard the news on a beautiful Sunday afternoon as they were enjoying a drive together after church services. Like thousands of other young men, my dad dutifully enlisted, left all he knew and loved behind, and went to war.

During the first few years of the war, he and his companion sailors looked at the war much like they would a basketball or football game…cheering when they would torpedo and sink an enemy ship, or shoot down an enemy aircraft. He said it was like an exciting competition to them, and they were winning.

But as the war progressed, and the enemy became more desperate, the suicide planes became the greatest threat and fear to these young men battling for home and country.

My dad would describe how most of the sailors couldn’t see the incoming Kamikaze aircraft.  The only way they could detect how close they were to their battleship was by listening for the size of ammunition being fired.  The biggest shells being fired meant that the suicide pilot and plane were still quite a distance out. As each round of ammunition would become smaller and the machine gun fire more rapid, all would recognize that their ship was in imminent danger of being hit.  At this point my dad, as well as all other sailors not actively involved in taking down the enemy would take cover under the closest steel protection they could find.  My dad’s ship was hit several times by these desperate combatants, and many lives were lost as a result.

Numerous times I have expressed my gratitude for not ever having to personally experience the horrors of war.  But just recently I have been reminded, again, of the battles that are being waged all around me. As I listen to talk radio, watch the news stations, read newspapers and magazines, and discuss current happenings with family, friends and associates, I recognize that we are right in the middle of destructive force intended to destroy all that we hold dear. Unlike my dad, we can’t occasionally take cover. If we think that battles are won by ignoring the enemy we will be sadly disappointed to wake up one day and find friends and loved ones dying on the battlefield known as apathy and misguided priorities.

Are we so numbed by the enemies’ bombardment that we don’t recognize the imminent danger of what we are experiencing?  Yesterday my husband showed me the most recent Time magazine cover…I don’t care how good the article may or may not be, when the media sensationalizes to sell magazines, we should speak out. Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all about breastfeeding.  That said, the picture is inappropriate for the front cover of a national magazine.  Small battle?  Perhaps, but if nothing is said, what pictures will be sensationalized in the future?

Many of us remember the shock by a previous generation when Rhet Butler’s “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” was used on the big screen.  Where is the outrage today?  Is it a battle we have lost? Absolutely!

Abortion, same-sex marriage, pornography, broken families, child abuse, child neglect, drug abuse, lies, deceit, corruption…These are much bigger battles in the war being waged, and we are being bombarded on every front. Do we speak up, write letters, become involved, teach our children, and take a stand to do better? How are you and I fighting the battles?  This life is not a game.  Just like all the fatalities and evils of past wars, we are playing for keeps.  How many loved ones or even generations need to be destroyed before we recognize the battles, and take up the fight?

 

Myth Buster Monday: Does same-sex behavior meet the criteria of a civil rights issue?

In AIDS, Homosexuality, Myth Buster, Sanctity of Life on November 14, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Is same-sex behavior innate, immutable, and unchangeable?  If it cannot meet this standard, then it does not qualify for a civil rights classification.   To answer the question we refer you to Greg Quinlan, a former homosexual, who is now the president of PFOX – Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays.

This is an interview that is well worth your time.  In spite of an interviewer who has done his homework and is intent on cornering Greg Quinlan, Greg deftly handles each and every question while explaining the many myths surrounding homosexual behavior and lifestyle.

Can homosexuals change?  Listen to Greg Quinlan and you decide.

Part II:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUcLia8Ws8Y&feature=related

Reader Poll: “Does it concern you that the U.S. government is considering eliminating the now existing ban against blood donation by any man who has had homosexual sex?”

In AIDS, Homosexuality, Polls on August 12, 2011 at 2:15 pm

This is the question we asked our readers:

“Does it concern you that the U.S. government is considering eliminating the now existing ban against blood donation by any man who has had homosexual sex?”

Here is how they responded:

92 Percent           Concerns me, a ban is a prudent policy

8 Percent             No concerns here

0 Percent             Can’t decide

 In the U.S. the HIV/AIDS prevalence rate for men who have sex with other men (MSM)  is 60 times higher than the general population.  As the vast majority of the UFI readers have indicated, the policy banning any man who has had had homosexual sex from donating blood is indeed prudent.  Particularly when you consider that the incidents of “false negatives” in any given screening test is always a concern.  A screening test for HIV/AIDS that gives a “false negative” has life-threatening repercussions for those who might receive a transfusion from that blood.

It is not “homophobia” or a desire to discriminate against MSM that drives the ban on blood donation, but a desire to protect the donor blood supply of a nation.  If there’s a shortage of blood, as supporters of the removal of the ban claim, then let’s do a major public service campaign to increase donations from the rest of the population.  “Safety before political correctness” should prevail.

For clarification and answers to the FDA’s policy on blood donation, visit this link:

Blood Donations from Men who have sex with other Men:  Questions and Answers

You can also see a list of nations of the world and their policies on blood donation, click here.

“Students defend the family at the UN”

In Abstinence, AIDS, Homosexuality, Human Rights, UFI, UN on August 3, 2011 at 5:44 pm

UFI in the News

Four students from BYU and a student from Arizona State University attended a conference with the UN in New York City to represent United Families International on July 25 and 26. Many young people attended the conference to discuss issues facing the upcoming generation. Among the issues discussed was the sexual rights debate. Abortion and homosexual marriage were at the forefront of the debates, along with the idea that young people, including adolescents, should have no sexual restraints.  Read more

Straight Talk for Those Who Buy into Hollywood’s Values

In Abortion, Abstinence, AIDS, Child Development, Sex Education on July 28, 2011 at 10:09 pm

By Rachel Allison

Hollywood and the media send “in your face” messages of sexual lies that far too often men and women swallow, hook, line and sinker.  “Sex on the first date?  That’s okay, it was love at first sight”.  “You waited to have sex until the third or fourth date?  You’re a pillar of self-control.”  “You choose to wait until you are married to have sexual intimacy?  You are a prude. “

Let’s talk facts.

1.  According to medical studies intimate behavior floods the brain with oxytocin, a chemical that fuels attachment.  When oxytocin levels are high, a person is more likely to overlook the partner’s faults, and take risks not normally taken.  When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green.  It plays a major role in what’s called “the biochemistry of attachment.”

According to Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD, girls, in particular, can develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with her.  She might think of him all day, but he can’t remember her name.

2.  Science has confirmed the existence of “beer goggles”—when a person seems more attractive to you after you’ve had a few drinks.  In a British study, eighty college students rated photos of unfamiliar faces of men and women their age; alcohol consumption significantly raised the scores given to photos of the opposite sex. Drinking affects the nucleus accumbens, the area of the brain used to determine facial attractiveness.  It’s probably one of several reasons that casual, high-risk sex is often preceded by alcohol consumption.

3.  A recent study of the hook-up culture at Princeton University reveals:  Before the hook-up:  Girls expect emotional involvement almost twice as often as guys; 34 percent hope “a relationship might evolve.”  Guys, more than girls, are in part motivated by hopes of improving their social reputation, or of bragging about their exploits to friends the next day.  After the hook-up:  91 percent of girls admit to having feelings of regret.  Guilt and “feeling used” are commonly cited, and overall, 80 percent of girls wish the hook-up hadn’t happened.

Other studies have shown:  84 percent of women said that after having sex a few times, even with someone they didn’t want to be emotionally involved with, they begin to feel vulnerable and would at least like to know if the other person cares about them.

As the number of casual sex partners in the past year increased, so did signs of depression in college women.  Forty nine percent of students whose hook-up included intercourse never see one another again, and less than 10 percent of “friends with benefits” develop into romance.

4.  A younger cervix is more vulnerable to infection.  The younger cervix has a vulnerable area one cell thick, called the transformation zone.  It’s easy for HPV (the human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts, and even cervical cancer) to settle in there.  That’s why most teen girls are infected from one of their first sexual partners.  By adulthood the transformation zone is replaced with a thicker, tougher surface.  Even though these infections are common, and usually disappear with time, learning you have one can be devastating.  Natural reactions are shock, anger, and confusion.  “Who did I get this from, and when?  Was he unfaithful?  Who should I tell? And hardest of all:  Who will want me now?  These concerns can affect concentration, sleep, mood, and can deal a serious blow to one’s self-esteem.

The HPV vaccine is a major achievement, but the protection it provides is limited. You are still vulnerable to other infections like herpes, Chlamydia, HIV, and non-covered strains of HPV….not to mention the emotional trauma inflicted.

5.  Most guys who have a sexually transmitted infection don’t know it. Routine testing for men does not provide information about HPV or herpes.  It’s easiest to transmit herpes or HPV when warts or sores are present, but it can also happen at other times, when everything looks OK.  Condoms only reduce the risk by 60-70 percent.  So you may still pay a price, even if both partners are tested and a condom is used every time.

6.  And about those other sexual activities…having more than five oral sex partners has been associated with throat cancer.  Turns out that HPV can cause malignant tumors in the throat, just like it does in the cervix.

In a study of sexually active college men, HPV was found both where you’d expect—the genital area—and where you wouldn’t:  under fingernails.  Researchers now speculate whether the virus can be shared during activities considered “safe,” like mutual masturbation.

According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 30 percent of all women will have had anal intercourse by the age of 24.  Even with condoms, this behavior places them at increased risk of infection with HIV and other STDs.  For example, the risk for HIV transmission during anal intercourse is at least 20 times higher than with vaginal intercourse.  The government website, www.fda.gov, provides no-nonsense advice about avoiding HIV:  “Condoms provide some protection, but anal intercourse is simply too dangerous to practice.”

7.  Seventy-five percent of college freshmen say that raising a family is an “essential or very important goal.”  But 55 percent of younger high-achieving women are childless at 35.  And 89 percent of them think they’ll be able to get pregnant into their forties.

It’s easiest for a woman to conceive and deliver a healthy child in her twenties.  Fertility declines slightly at 30, and more dramatically at 35.  Some may imagine that the waiting rooms of fertility clinics are packed with obese women smoking cigarettes.  Wrong!  They are filled with health-conscious women who work out and count calories.  They are there because they’re forty.

 Hollywood’s lie?  “Exploring and experimenting with sex is fulfilling, exciting, and satisfying.” 

Don’t fall for it.  It’s easy to forget, but the characters on Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City are not real.  In real life, Meredith and Carrie would have warts or herpes.  They’d likely be on Prozac or Zoloft. Today a woman cannot have multiple partners without paying a price.

Most of this article comes from Sense and Sexuality by Miriam Grossman, M.D.

For your bookshelf:  “Unprotected” by Miriam Grossman, M.D.,  “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, M.D. and “Taking Sex Differences Seriously” by Steven E. Rhoads, Ph.D.

The youth of the world invited, but not allowed to speak

In Abstinence, AIDS, UN on July 26, 2011 at 11:56 am

*Another in UFI’s series of blog posts from the young adults attending the UN High Level Meeting on Youth

By Ashley Tucker

Growing up I always imagined and thought of the United Nations as a grand, elite meeting ground for world intellectuals who work to change the world (hopefully in a positive way).

I could not have been more wrong.

While attending the UN High Level Meeting on Youth, I sat for hours listening to delegate after delegate in turn say the same thing- “we need youth to be involved in government. Youth participation is critical for our future. The involvement of the youth is not just for tomorrow but today!” – And this continues on and on in several languages, yet the youth attending were not allowed to participate in anything. The ‘year of youth’ is a big hypocritical joke. There are no round tables, youth participation, discussion, or input taken; only a one-sided conference declaration that was completed before any of the young people arrived.

The most educational side event I went to was put on by IPPF called ‘strengthening youth leaders, advocacy from the ground up.’ The underlining message of the meeting was youth of the word need to get involved in government and the first rights that they need to petition for are sexual rights. They need to do so courageously, relentlessly, and to never give up the battle for their human right to have sex when ever, however, wherever, and with whomever they want.

It is so refreshing to hear that in countries that don’t have proper food, water and shelter are being taught that the first way to improve their lives is to ensure they have their sexual rights. Thanks, UN.  This is social justice at its very best.

 

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