UFI

2 Reasons Young Adults today are Delaying Marriage

In Birth Rate, Child Development, Choice, Demographic Decline, Families, Marriage, motherhood, Parenting, Values on May 31, 2016 at 5:44 am

college student 2By Candice LeSueur

The median age of marriage in the United States has risen subtly in the past several decades. In 1970, the average age to wed was 22 and crept up to 27 in 2010. These statistics aren’t sitting too well for those who are growing impatient as they long to  marry and start their own family.

Many young adults today feel they are proactive in meeting new people and desire to date those they have interest in, yet some are finding their perseverance to be in vain as a number of others put zero effort into “the dating game.” This is causing the driven ones to lose hope little by little as they grow older. With age, some begin to wonder if there is something wrong with them, wondering if they are awkward, not attractive, or even lovable. This is a sad reality for too many young people today.  These are individuals who fully deserve to marry and would make exceptional spouses, but they recognize they are far from the brink of any romantic relationship.

Why are so many currently finding themselves in this position? We can allude to the idea that there is definitely a skewed mentality of dating found in our culture today. In a lot of cases, there seems to be less finding and more waiting. So what exactly is keeping all these young adults from a lifestyle of dating? Here are two reasons:

Reason #1: “emerging adulthood”

Just a few decades ago, young adults felt ready to begin a life independent from their family, starting with marriage. Recent studies identified that young people today place marriage at a priority 40% lower than their parents. Often these young adults no longer even consider marriage or finishing school or becoming a parent–as being important criteria for becoming an adult. Now they see more internally defined qualities, such as taking responsibility for one’s actions and becoming an independent decision-maker, as the markers of adulthood. This new age of exploring one’s own identity and needing to experience life has become its own developmental stage: “emerging adulthood.”

Not only have millennials become such a perplexing generation to study developmentally–to the point where they now have an obscure stage of life named after them–they also are known to have gained a misconception that there is only one perfect person out there for them.

Reason #2: “soul mates”

A lot of individuals make lists of all the traits they feel they can’t live without in a spouse.  They feel they need to find the perfect person tailored to specifically to them. They are quick to weed out great people who they could potentially grow to love and admire enough to marry, all because they may be holding out for “the one” who might come along.  Just because someone doesn’t fit the height or occupation description, have the same goals and dreams, didn’t grow up in an ideal family situation, or have the same music taste does not mean they are not worthy of being given a chance. Soul mates are just simply not a thing.

Young adults would be wise to give each other the opportunity of getting to know a wide variety of people that would very well be a great fit for them in marriage–not let unimportant checklist items become deal-breakers. Doing so will expand their dating pool, making it statistically more probable to find someone they will grow to love, and before they know it, sparks will be flying. Those looking to marry need to be kind and open-minded to the possibilities of their prospects.

These two reasons may pose concerns for some people, but millennials just need to have a little more faith. When individuals enter adulthood, they need to enter with both feet and take full responsibility of their future. With that comes the need to date and marry. Doing so can be such a fun adventure. There doesn’t need to be so much pressure placed on it.

As young adults meet new people and have a good time, they will gain more interests in others and find people they are compatible with. This will increase their likelihood of getting married, which will help diminish the marriage delay we are witnessing today.

 

 

(For more information on delayed marriage in America, visit http://twentysomethingmarriage.org/.)

 

Greater Love Hath No Man Than This

In Families, Freedom, Government, Religion, Sanctity of Life, Values, Violence on May 30, 2016 at 3:38 am

militaryby Erin Weist

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

In the United States we celebrate Memorial Day today, the last Monday in May, as a time to remember those from our armed forces who have died.  Whatever country you reside, whatever culture or political persuasion you espouse, it is difficult to be untouched by war.  In some way or another we know lives that have been destroyed, loved ones who have died, or landscapes (both political and physical) that have been permanently changed because of lust for power in some form or another.  And that is only in our lifetime, not to mention the continual landscape of war that has plagued earth from our first recorded histories.  Human nature appears to be the one constant, vacillating between love & hate, forgiveness & revenge.  And those in our military services end up paying the ultimate price for those most basic human proclivities.

So here is a moment of quiet, a time to honor the dead, those both near to us and ancestors from long ago.  Here is a moment to pray, to hope, that wars will cease, that civilizations will practice restraint, that leaders will engage one another nobly and honestly, that the hearts of those who benefit monetarily from war will be softened, and that families can be spared in the future from sending their loved ones somewhere they might never return.  We mourn with you who have sacrificed and who are mourning not just this day but always.

Right to Live

In Choice, Euthanasia, Families, Freedom, Government, Health Care, Human Rights, Physician Assisted Suicide, Sanctity of Life, Values on May 27, 2016 at 6:14 am

Euthanasia and Organ DonationBy Ally Fife

Recently, a woman in her twenties who had suffered sexual abuse as a child, was given a lethal injection at her own request to die. Her psychiatrists and doctors all felt it was in her best interest that she be allowed to choose this eternal sleep, despite the fact that she was considered mentally ill. She also suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic depression, anorexia, and hallucinations. However, after intensive therapy, she had shown signs of improvement. She wanted to die, as do many patients with mental illness, which can also be diagnosed as a cry for help. But Dutch law concerning euthanasia only requires that her conditions be incurable. Who can really determine what mental illness is incurable; or that at some point in the future she might find her life worth living?

 

These “mercy killings” can now be used as a cure for sexual abuse, one British MP against the practice believes. England is at odds with whether to create their own laws for choosing death. Many of Her Majesty’s citizens have been travelling to Switzerland to “Digitas”, a center where you can go to die by choice, without any laws to stop you. Many countries with euthanasia laws have begun with a strict “no death for mental patients” clause, but slowly it has become more accepted.

 

Where do we draw the line on a person’s right to choose? A recent study on doctor assisted death for people with psychiatric disorders, found that many of them cited loneliness as one of the major factors in desiring to die. How do you quantify loneliness to the degree of knowing one is lonely enough to be incurable?  If that’s the case, we should really start labelling suicide as the right to die also. What difference does it really make if a doctor helps you or not? Especially since there are now doctors set up just for the practice of  euthanasia. That is what they do, so that is what they will encourage their patients to do. Best interest has nothing to do with it.

 

When you are in the depths of sorrow and loneliness, it is a vortex of darkness and pain. You can’t imagine ever clawing your way out of the darkness, let alone feeling the sunshine. Many millions of people have been there…Mentally ill and wanting to die.Thankfully, through friends and family, therapy and medicine, they have continued clawing, and some have even found happiness. Like me. What if my doctors or family had given up on me; had agreed that there was no hope, and let me choose to die? I would never have known what could have been.  These laws did nothing more than rob this vulnerable young woman of her future. Can we really call that mercy?

 

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