Feminists Fail Women and Families

Just one short generation ago, the family ruled. It was fashionable to be from a large family where roles were clearly defined. Father knew best and mother was always there to feed, comfort and rely upon. For the most part, dad was the breadwinner, mom the nurturer. Children were expected to be the product of marriage and marriage was only between a man and a woman. Divorce rates were low and the majority couples stayed married for most of their lives. Welfare roles were almost non-existent as were out-of-wedlock births. The family might not have been perfect, but it was intact and the lack of social programs and crime reflected it.

In order to follow the history of the changing family, one must only follow the history of the feminist movement. The correlation between the two clearly outlines the influence radical feminism has had on the breakdown of the family.

For over forty years, the family has been under scrutiny and attack that was brought on by the U.S. radical feminist movement that started in the 1960s. Today the family is certainly different than what it once was.

The Beginning of Radical Feminism

There are three types of women in the world: radical feminists, mainstream feminists and the majority.

Modern feminism, or what has been coined radical feminism, has its roots in the American culture that dates from late 1960s to the early 1970s. Before this time, women who fought to change cultural norms did so with no intention of breaking down the family. They were clearly not anti-marriage. They just wanted women to have more choices in their lives.

By 1969 noted University of Chicago sociology professor Marlene Dixon brazenly declared, “The institution of marriage is the chief vehicle for the perpetuation of the oppression of women; it is through the role of wife that the subjugation of women is maintained.” Marriage was referred to “as a slavery-like practice” that needed to be destroyed to bring about equality between men and women. The “heart of radical feminism” designed to save women, was now on a mission to destroy not only marriage, but in the process – families.

Mainstreaming the Anti-Marriage Message Around the World

Since the 1970s, the radical feminist message was mainstreamed throughout the American culture, having a detrimental influence on the intellectual formation of millions of students. The next generation of radical feminists have in turn taken up the cause and taken the battle to the halls of the United Nations. The United Nations process becomes the catalyst to spreading the anti-marriage, anti-family message internationally through official documents and treaties, like CEDAW, the Convention on the Elimination of All Discrimination Against Women. If signed and ratified, nations become enslaved by appointed councils that demand the radical changes espoused by those whose ultimate goal is to destroy families and those who stand in the way. Women’s rights are promoted as human rights and include abortion – disguised as a health and reproductive right.

In a world where developing countries continue to experience higher than normal rates of death during delivery, lack of education for women, female infanticide and sex-selective abortion, radical feminists prefer to mainstream “genderless societies” to vulnerable and often unaware nations.

As an example, recent women’s rights legislation, masquerading as the “Magna Carta of Women,” is making its way through the Philippine Congress. UN radical feminists, rumored to have written most of the language, have managed to inject anti-family and anti-life policy that conflicts with the Philippine Constitution that protects “the sanctity of family life” as well as protecting the “life of the unborn from conception.” The language in the Magna Carta is almost exactly what was used by CEDAW Compliance members in a 1994 UN report that creates confusion between the nation’s culture, laws and constitution and this new law regarding women’s rights.

The radical feminist movement of false truth would have the women of the world believe that men and religion are corrupt, marriage is slavery and bearing and raising children is beneath them. The reality is most women agree and want the right to be educated, vote, own property and be treated as an equal in marriage by the law. But, the feminists have taken the battle of women’s rights to a new low. Their agenda does not take into account that women are part of a family and families are the bedrock of a good and healthy society.

The Truth About Marriage and Family

While radical feminists see marriage as a “patriarchal” institution that harms women and children, the facts are mothers who give birth and raise children outside of a stable marriage are seven times more likely to live in poverty.

• Over 80 percent of child poverty in the United States is within divorced or single-family households.
• Domestic violence is most common in cohabiting households. And mothers who do not marry are twice as likely to suffer from domestic violence as mothers who are or have been married.
• Social science research continually confirms that the effects of marriage and intact families are overwhelmingly positive for men, women, children, communities and society.
• Some of the benefits of intact families are: greater health, longer lives, more education, and higher income, less domestic violence, less poverty, less crime, less addiction, less teenage pregnancies, and less depression.

So, the question remains, has the feminist movement advanced the cause of women by bringing greater equality and freedom to dissolve unhappy marriages and independence in family life, and more career opportunities – or not?

The answer is simple and devastating. Divorce has generated new forms of inequality for women by way of greater economic insecurity and poverty. Divorce has transformed women from haves to have-nots. Divorce has not moved women closer to the social goal of gender equality. Instead, women now bear double responsibility for breadwinning and child-rearing – and most do it alone. Women are now working harder and falling further behind. Divorce rates have increased as have welfare rolls.

• Between the years 1950 and 1996, the annual divorce rate increased by 89 percent, while the annual marriage rate among unmarried women age 15 and older decreased by 45 percent.
• States with a lower percentage of single-parent families, on average, will have lower rates of juvenile crime. State-by-state analysis indicates that, in general, a ten-percent increase in the number of children living in single-parent homes (including divorces) accompanies a seventeen-percent increase in juvenile crime.
• Married couples and their families have much higher incomes and greater assets than do single adults or single-parent households.  Women want to be a functional part of a healthy, good society where they can learn and grow and raise a family. They do not want to be misled by the radical agenda of a few who would rather destroy the family.

United Families International will be attending the Commission of the Status of Women (CSW) in March. It is there that we will be fighting again to promote and protect a future for the family. The radical feminists will be out in force and your support is needed. Help us to spread the truth to the nations of the world and ensure every child will have a family with a mother and a father to belong to.

DOMA REALLY DOES PROTECT MARRIAGE!

In 1996, gay marriage percolated to the political forefront starting in Hawaii when several gay couples sued for the right to legally marry. Pro-family organizations and policy makers, in an effort to get in front of the movement, passed The Federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that was signed into law by President Bill Clinton.

With the new administration and US President Barrack Obama’s promise to the gay community, there is a distinct possibility that one of the first acts of the U.S. liberal Congress will be to repeal DOMA, opening the door for the redefinition of marriage based on the faulty premise that civil unions are not the same as traditional marriage.

DOMA – HOW IT WORKS

DOMA is a promise to protect our culture, our society and our future. The federal government ensures federal benefits to encourage couples to marry and support the children within that marriage – codifying what governments have long known; the strength of nations lies within the family. Some of the benefits that are embedded within the law include:

• Immigration
• Welfare
• Taxation
• Employment
• Social Security survivor rights
• Veteran benefits

What DOMA does is protect marriage from being redefined at the federal level from acts by the states, and gives each state the right to refuse recognition of same-sex marriage licenses issued by other states.

What DOMA does not do is prohibit states from allowing gay marriages, and does not obligate states to recognize same-sex marriages from other states. DOMA also defines marriage between one man and one woman recognizing that marriage is the foundation of our society and deserves special treatment.

In plain English, the provisions of The Federal Defense of Marriage Act disallow marriage licenses granted to gay and lesbian couples in one state from being recognized by another state. Gay marriage licenses issued in Massachusetts, for instance, are only valid in Massachusetts – unless and until other states pass laws recognizing them. Federal benefits are also withheld from legally recognized same-sex couples in states where marriage is recognized.

ALTERNATIVES TO MARRIAGE

In an attempt to appease the gay community’s demand for equal rights without total alienation from pro-family groups and individuals, policy makers found alternative legal substitutes to marriage. The first was invented in the northeast where legislation by the bench set a new precedent.

Civil Unions Mimic Marriage in State Law Only

The term civil union was coined by Vermont policymakers in 2000 in response to their Supreme Court’s ruling that declared gays were entitled to “common benefits and protections that flow from marriage under Vermont law.” This new legally recognized relationship allowed some or all of the same rights of marriage on the state level, without the protection, recognition and benefits of the federal government. Today, there are a total of four states that recognize civil unions: Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont and New Jersey.

Domestic Partnership

Not to be outdone, California adopted a similar alternative called domestic partnership. First enacted in 1999; then expanded in 2005 to include all state marriage rights, making it virtually the same as civil unions. Hawaii and Maine also have domestic partnership laws that give a limited amount of rights and protections as state marriage law.

EFFECTS OF REDEFINING MARRIAGE ON FAMILIES AND CHILDREN

Note that the number of gay marriages and civil unions in the United States is very small, in fact miniscule in comparison to traditional marriage, and a lot less than even proponents of LGBT rights anticipated. Even so, the LGBT advocates have turned the debate into one of special rights versus the protection of the family and traditional marriage. This small percentage of individuals is on the brink of changing society as we know it; dooming future generations to financial, moral and cultural ruin.

Social and Cultural Changes

Sex, marriage and child rearing has a profound effect on communities, states, nations and society as a whole. The costs associated with “a live and let live” society are enormous and will only continue to escalate until untenable. Expect to see:

• Changes in divorce law and custody
• Additional immigration sponsorship of gay spouses and family members
• Less reliance on families and faith-based initiatives and church attendance
• Increase in poverty, welfare rolls, incarcerations and increased government programs that try to alleviate these conditions
• A reduction in live birth rates
• The passage of mercy killings, and assisted suicide initiatives
• Broad access to government programs that provide condoms, and other devices to reduce HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases at tax payers’ expense
• Future recognition of other marriage relationships including polygamy

Religious Liberty in Jeopardy

There are current examples of religious speech, assembly and worship being threatened in the U.S. and around the world. Churches will no longer be allowed to preach their doctrine and encourage marriage between one man and one woman; because “anything goes” relationship definitions will be protected by the law, making lawbreakers of those who oppose them. United Families points out some of the threats to religious freedom in past publications, but note what the future holds:

• Further closures of faith-based social services, like adoption and foster care
• Elimination of religious ceremonies, including marriage
• Eventual closure of parochial schools, churches and practices

Educational Changes Including Curriculum

Children in Massachusetts are already forced to take home diversity packets introducing them to the homosexual lifestyle, which undermines parental rights as well as indoctrinates the next generation. What is happening in Massachusetts and in other countries where same-sex marriage is legal is just the beginning.

• Loss of parental rights
• Increase in sex-curriculum including the teaching of homosexuality, etc.
• The elimination of abstinence-only programs
• Distribution of condoms and other devises to prevent HIV/AIDS and pregnancy
• The opening of additional gay schools and programs

Building Strong Families

This last summer my family and I took a concert tour across eleven different southern states, and in nine of these we stopped to perform. We have a family music group where all eleven of us sing. This was quite an adventure, one in which the phrase “a family that travels together unravels together” nearly came true for us! I mean that jokingly of course, but we make the trip in a motor home, and since our grandparents were willing to take the risk of coming along, the trip was made with thirteen people! Talk about close quarters, probably the reason our favorite song to perform ended up being Next to Loving I like Fighting. The massive amount of time we spent driving was what my mom liked to call “family bonding time”, although that’s probably not the name the rest of us would have given it. In spite of all this, I have to admit it was still at times, entertaining. This was likely a one-time experience, but incredibly neat for all of us. In this music group of ours, our mission statement is “Building Strong Families” and although we definitely have our moments like any normal family, we all know and appreciate how much it has meant to us throughout the course of our lives to create strong relationships and put family first. Ironically, it is experiences just like the one I’ve explained that lead me to say there is no place I’d rather be than with family.

Families come in all different styles, shapes and sizes; each are unique and all play important roles for each of us. This is why it is so paramount for us to create strong, happy families. In order to better understand this idea we’ll start off by looking at the signs of a few challenges that face families today, then we will go through some of the causes that are greatly aiding in the process of tearing down families. Finally, we strengthen our cause by arriving at a few valuable solutions.

In this great country we are so blessed to have the ability to choose how many kids we want to have, how and where we raise our families, the activities we participate in, and so much more. Yet we still have excessive, unhealthy numbers of somewhat broken families. Divorce, for example, is an extremely prominent issue today. According to the Macmillan Social Science Library, “about half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce”. My mother’s parents got a divorce during her early teenage years. These were trying and hard times for her, but she tells me there was much to be learned from that experience. Striving to do things such as eating family dinner and playing games together made the tough situation a lot more bearable and helped keep their family connected.

Another challenge existing with families is single parenting or families with children born out-of-wedlock, which can create equally difficult circumstances. Sadly, we live in a world where countless children only know one of their parents and only have one person trying their best to lead, care, and provide for the family. I have an aunt that is a single mother. She has a beautiful little boy that she loves very much and works hard to provide for. Still, although she has a positive attitude, she’ll be the first to admit that it’s tough to make ends meet, especially without a father there to share the burdens and joys of parenting. According to Keith G. Benton, a former law enforcement officer, “one in every three live births in this country now is to a single mother; and in many inner city areas, that rate is more than doubled.”  He goes on to explain many different struggles these kids are likely to deal with, but regardless of these possible outcomes, we can strive to build a strong family unit in the face of any situation, and although these factors do increase the amount of difficulty, we can often make them work out.

Now that we’ve looked at some signs of these challenges facing families, let’s go through a few of the main causes that lead to these problems for families, one of these being lack of family time. Few of us can truthfully say we haven’t felt overwhelmed and overscheduled sometime recently. Many of us have very fast paced lifestyles that don’t allow for much down time. Still, our relationships will never just stay the same, it only makes sense that they will either be strengthening or weakening continually. With this in mind, placing family first really should be among our top priorities. The only people we are almost always guaranteed a relationship with, is our family, and if that’s not motivation to get along, I don’t know what is!

Another cause could be the absence or lack of parental involvement. Now, although I know there are many very motivated kids out there, I don’t think many of us can say we’ve gone through our countless hours of and homework without being pushed and prodded. Whether it is incentives or consequences for grades, reminders to study, help with tough homework, or those endless speeches about prioritizing, I know we’ve all experienced this to some degree.  Parents have such an immense impact and profound influence on their children in so many different ways. Being a teenager I realize that we aren’t so good at following our parents instructions and often feel that our knowledge in certain areas exceeds theirs, (a myth that will inevitably clear it’s self up at one point or another) but I know I speak for many when I say we’re always better off in the long run when our parents lead and guide us. What goes on in homes all across the country has a great impact on our society. It is essential for parents and children to work together to create a productive, loving atmosphere.

Selfishness greatly contributes to the cause of tearing down families as well. If even one decides to take a day off of their daily duties to the family, chaos will inevitably ensue, and yes, I am speaking from experience. Let’s say, hypothetically, that the one in charge of Monday dishes duty “forgets” their day and leaves it to Tuesday who complains it isn’t fair and ends up dumping it on the unsuspecting Wednesday… Long story short without everyone contributing it is hard to have a peaceful home.

Now that we have both observed the signs of challenges facing families, and gone through some causes of problems that are so effective in the break-up of families, we will finally attempt to strengthen our cause by arriving at a few solutions to these ever growing problems. It is also important to stop and take time out of our busy schedule for family and work toward strengthening those paramount relationships with them. Wholesome, fun activities can be easily organized; forced family fun even goes a long way at times. If we could all just step back and realize how blessed we are to have these people in our lives, I think selfishness will ultimately take care of itself, and we can have much more peace and happiness in our homes. These are just little things that can make such a positive impact on our families.

A couple of years ago my parents took a few of us older siblings to Korea, to revisit a place my dad had lived for two years. I remember one time when my dad was trying to carry on a conversation with a very friendly man we had met on the bus. After being shown a picture of our family he said “Ah, rich man.” This left us a bit confused, until he went on to explain that being rich in family was the best kind of wealth any man could have. This experience served as a major reminder to me of how blessed I am to have family. It is the thing I am most proud to be a part of in my life. At school and in my daily social life I am able to look around and see many of my peers who feel the same way about their families, but I also know many who don’t have the same ideal family situation. From what I’ve observed there is a large number of kids from my high school alone that have somewhat broken families. No matter what type of family we have been raised with, no matter what the world tells us is the norm, we can decide now to make responsible, mature choices that will enable us to build strong, happy homes in the future. I believe the point at which we can honestly say “there’s no place I’d rather be than with family” is one we should strive for, and will bring long term happiness. I hope we can all resolve to create a strong link in a chain that could extend over generations of our posterity and bring countless blessings for many families to come.

Shalese is a 15-year-old high school student from Eagle, ID

5 Things Families do for the Individual

More and more, it seems like the family is playing less of a role in the lives of young people around the country. In years past, children would do the right thing because they were taught well starting at home. Sure, there have always been a few bad eggs, but you could generally count on things working out in a positive manner. With our lives becoming busier and the divorce rate continuing to hover at fifty percent, it is no wonder that many children these days are falling through the cracks.

Living in a family unit benefits individuals in many ways, including what follows below:

Support

While many may argue that support can come in all kinds of forms, a well-adjusted family is the number one place for young people to realize what true support means. Unconditional love and a genuine concern for the child’s well-being are incumbent in most functioning families.

Love

Love is of course, not entirely limited to the realm of the nuclear family. However, growing up in a cohesive family unit with the support and care one needs is the first experience children have when it comes to love. Children who live outside of the traditional family unit often have confused notions of exactly what love is because they don’t have loving and nurturing modeled for them regularly.

Strength

Strength comes not only from within, but from a variety of sources. Upbringing plays a large role in the way a child demonstrates his or her strength, both emotionally and related to character. It takes strength to get through the tough times that families experience, and ultimately only serves to make everyone stronger when dealing with adversity, etc.

Work Ethic

Work ethic starts at home, this is for sure. As children grow up, they see what their parents must do in order to keep the family afloat. It takes hard work and perseverance to make sure that everyone is properly cared for, including food, shelter, clothing, and anything above and beyond the basic needs. Families are hard work, and living in one that works well is proof enough of this fact.

Values

It is far easier to teach children about values when you put them into practice in your own lives. Leading by example is the best way to prove your point, and family and marriage is no exception. If you want your children to be honest, faithful, trustworthy, loving, or have any number of other positive character traits, this all starts in the home. How can you tell a child not to give up if you gave up on your spouse or family? It’s not possible, with a few exceptions. However, living in a positive and loving environment will go a long way toward making children great adults.

This post was contributed by Holly McCarthy, who writes on the subject of online dating sites. She invites your feedback at hollymccarthy12 at gmail dot com

Read UFI’s Latest Book: ‘Guide to Family Issues: The Harms of Pornography’

Since the arrival of the Internet, cell phones and the DVD and video industries, pornography has become the most pervasive and immediate threat to marriages and families, adults and children. Addiction and divorce are the most recognizable social costs of pornography, but the costs run much deeper. United Families International’s “Guide to Family Issues: The Harms of Pornography” examines what is perhaps the most insidious threat to individuals and families around the globe today.

History and research reveal the many harms of pornography:

• Pornography seeks out people from all walks of life, then poisons and corrupts them. The allure of substantial profits seduces corporations, hotel chains, cable television companies and Internet entrepreneurs – without concern for the well-being of families.
• Pornography has the propensity to deaden husbands’ attraction for their wives. The result is often heartache, alienation and divorce.
• Pornography is a perpetrator of family breakdown.
• Pornography demeans its participants. It is a form of prostitution, and porn subjects are frequently the victims of molestation, rape, coercion and blackmail.
• Pornography corrupts children and robs them of their innocence. Children have been raped and murdered by the producers of pornography.
• Organized crime is heavily involved in pornography, and crime rates are much higher in the neighborhoods where pornography is available.
• Pornography takes billions of dollars out of economies that could be much better spent on the needs of families.
• Pornography is not a benign phenomenon; it leaves a clearly discernible trail of victims.
  The scenes of sex crimes and the homes of those committing sex crimes are frequently littered with pornography. Pornography creates callous attitudes toward rape and causes users to develop distorted perceptions about sexuality.
• Pornography acts as a harmful “drug.” Physiologically, viewing pornography commonly triggers internal, endogenous drug production. An image in a person’s head acts as an electrical signal for no more than a few seconds can leave a trace that will last for years.
• Pornography distorts a healthy understanding of human sexuality.
• Pornography is pervasive, and no one is beyond its reach. One does not have to look for pornography; it will find you.
• Driven by greed and a disregard for families and consumers, businesses continually seek to expand pornography’s reach by creating new markets.
• Pornography contributes to the rising tide of sex trafficking.

The preponderance of social science research demonstrates how pornography harms men, women, children, families and marriages and poisons homes, work places, governments, communities and corrupts the mass media culture.

Read UFI’s “Guide to Family Issues: The Harms of Pornography” online.

Are You Getting a Divorce…

A new Gallup Poll shows that 70 percent of Americans think that divorce is morally acceptable. That’s up 11 percentage points from seven years ago. Good thing? Bad thing? Well the Gallup people seem to think it is a good thing: “People going through divorce often deal with a range of difficult emotions, including anger, sadness, trepidation, remorse, and a sense of failure. One issue becoming less and less a factor in that gut-wrenching mix is the sting of moral condemnation.” http://www.gallup.com/poll/107380/Cultural-Tolerance-Divorce-Grows-70.aspx

But if you ask the some 42 million children (since 1970) who have been devastated by their parents’ divorce, I think they might prefer a little more public “sting” if it were to help keep their family intact. The research is pretty clear: divorce has a dramatically negative impact on children with many suffering from its effects throughout adulthood. (See UFI’s Guide to Family Issues: Divorce) As I read polls such as this one, my heart aches for the children and for the adults who seem to be cavalier and clueless regarding the impact of divorce.

I am reminded of an experience that an acquaintance shared with me. She and her husband were having a tiff and their young daughter, unfortunately, was a witness to the louder than usual voices. As the argument wound down, the couple noticed that their daughter was particularly distraught. Upon inquiring, the young girl choked back her tears and said: “Are you getting a divorce….just like Cami’s parents? Please! Don’t get a divorce.”

The couple took the opportunity to gather their children together and explain:
“We are sorry that we were fighting and we’ll try to handle it differently next time, but know this: Your parents will NEVER get a divorce. It doesn’t matter what happens; we can fight, stomp out of the room, be very unhappy with one another… but we have made a commitment to one another and we will work through our problems. Divorce is not an option for us; so take that off your list of concerns forever.”

I believe her. I only wish that the rest of the country believed in their marriages as much.