What all Girls Should Know before Having Sex

Rachel Allison

Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D. worked at a campus counseling center for more than 10 years.  The young women who came to her were in crisis. They were “working hard to fulfill their dreams:  a college education, maybe grad school, a great career, and—at some point—a home, husband, and kids.”  But they come to her office in tears because of struggles and setbacks caused by decisions and regrets. “She’s already involved with the wrong guy, or infected with genital warts or herpes.  She’s already lost a great relationship, missed an opportunity, or failed a midterm.  I’m her doctor, but all I can do is sit there, listen, and hand her tissues.”

Dr. Grossman’s book “Unprotected” should be a must read for every teenager in the United States, Canada, England, France…ok, the world. But until parents and youth leaders can get them their must read copy, here are a few things Dr. Grossman has prepared for young women to read before the regrets begin …information young girls should know before sexual intimacy.

1.  Intimacy promotes attachment and trust.

Intimate behavior floods your brain with a chemical that fuels attachment. Cuddling, kissing, and sexual contact release oxytocin, a hormone that announces: “I’m with someone special now. Time to switch love on, and caution off.  When oxytocin levels are high, you’re more likely to overlook your partner’s faults and take risks you otherwise wouldn’t…

When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green.  It plays a major role in what’s called “the biochemistry of attachment.”  Because of it, you could develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with you. You might think of him all day, but he can’t remember your name.

2.  Science confirms:  alcohol makes him hot…when he’s not.

Science has confirmed the existence of “beer goggles”—when a person seems more attractive to you after you’ve had a few drinks….Drinking affects the nucleus accumbens, the area of the brain used to determine facial attractiveness.  It’s probably one of several reasons that casual, high-risk sex is often preceded by alcohol consumption.

3.  A hook-up usually leads to regret.

A recent study of  the hook-up culture at Princeton University reveals:  Before the hook-up, girls expect emotional involvement almost twice as often as guys; 34% hope “a relationship might evolve.”  Guys, more than girls, are in part motivated by hopes of improving their social reputation, or of bragging about their exploits to friends the next day.

After the hook-up: 91% of girls admit to having feelings of regret, at least occasionally.  Guilt and ‘feeling used’ are commonly cited, and overall, 80% of girls wish the hook-up hadn’t happened. Other studies have shown: 84% of women said that after having sex a few times, …they begin to feel vulnerable and would at least like to know if the other person cares about them.

As the number of casual sex partners increased, so did signs of depression in college women.  49% of students whose hook-up included intercourse never see one another again, and less than 10% of “friends with benefits” develop into romances.

4.  A younger cervix is more vulnerable to infection.

Your cervix, the entrance to your uterus, has a vulnerable area one cell thick, called the transformation zone. It’s easy for HPV (the human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts, and even cervical cancer) to settle there. That’s why most teen girls are infected from one of their first sexual partners.  By adulthood the transformation zone is replaced with a thicker, tougher surface.  So it’s wise to delay sexual activity, or, if you’ve already started, to stop.

Even though these infections are common, and usually disappear with time, learning you have one can be devastating. Natural reactions are shock, anger, and confusion. “Who did I get this from, and when? Was he unfaithful? Who should I tell?” and hardest of all: “Who will want me now?”

These concerns can affect your mood, concentration, and sleep.  They can deal a serious blow to your self-esteem…and to your GPA.

The HPV vaccine is a major achievement, but the protection it provides is limited.  You are still vulnerable to other infections like herpes, Chlamydia, HIV, and non-covered strains of HPV.  And of course no vaccine prevents a broken heart.

5.  He may not know he has HPV or herpes.

Most guys who have a sexually transmitted infection don’t know it….it’s easiest to transmit herpes or HPV when warts or sores are present, but it can also happen at other times, when everything looks OK. Condoms only reduce the risk by 60-70%.

6.  The rectum is an exit, not an entrance.

And about those other sexual activities…

Having more than five oral-sex partners has been associated with throat cancer. Turns out that HPV can cause malignant tumors in the throat, just like it does in the cervix.

In a study of sexually active college men, HPV was found both where you’d expect—the genital area—and where you wouldn’t: under fingernails.  Yes, you read that right.  Researchers now speculate whether the virus can be shared during activities considered “safe,” like mutual masturbation.

According to the Centers for disease Control, approximately 30% of all women will have had anal intercourse by the age of 24.  Even with condoms, this behavior places them at increased risk of infection with HIV and other STDs.  For example, the risk of HIV transmission during anal intercourse is at least 20 times higher than with vaginal intercourse.

The government website, www.fda.gov, provides no-nonsense advise about avoiding HIV:  “Condoms provide some protection, but anal intercourse is simply too dangerous to practice.”

The rectum is an exit, not an entrance.  Anal penetration is hazardous.  Don’t do it.

“Young women are bombarded with the message: “Exploring and experimenting—as long as you’re “protected”—can be safe, satisfying, and beneficial.”

“Don’t fall for it.  It’s easy to forget, but the characters on Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City are not real.  In real life, Meredith and Carrie would have warts or herpes.  They’d likely be on Prozac or Zoloft.  Today a woman cannot have so many partners with paying a price….We’re fighting a horde of bugs, and the bugs are winning.  It’s no longer enough to communicate with your “partners,” get tested, and use condoms.”

“Any genital contact with another person is a serious matter. A single encounter can have life-long consequences, especially for a woman. That’s not sexist, that’s biology—your biology. Ignorance or denial of this fact will only increase your vulnerability.”

“You’re in control, it’s all in your hands.  The distress that often follows casual sex is 100% preventable.  Life may throw you some curve balls, but STDs, and encounters you’d rather forget, are burdens that you can avoid.”

“Listen to the lesson of hard science:  It’s wise to be very, very careful about who you allow to get intimately close to you.”

Dr. Grossman concludes:  “I believe in you.  And I don’t want to see you in my office.  Now go pursue your dreams.”

This information was taken from the booklet, Sense & Sexuality, prepared by Dr. Miriam Grossman for college coeds.

“Hooking Up”—Is it Really Worth it?

Rachel Allison

Last week I wrote about Hydeia Broadbent, a young woman’s crusade to stop HIV/AIDS.

This week I want to write about some of the “lesser” sexually-transmitted diseases and other problems that are caused by “hooking up.”

There are 19 million new infections of sexually transmitted gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis yearly, which cost $17 billion to treat each year.  But there are others—human papillomavirus, herpes, genital warts, hepatitis, trichomoniasis, and scabies, to name just a few.  The World Health Organization says that there “are more than 30 different sexually transmissible bacteria, viruses and parasites.”  Treatment for those in the United States is also in the billions of dollars per year—that is when they’re treatable and not drug resistant.

Assuming that everyone who is having sex is aware of STDs,  I am quite sure that they don’t understand the consequences that those diseases will bring to their lives.  One woman tells her story when she learned she had Genital Herpes.  I can’t imagine the emotional trauma such a discovery would cause.  As a teenager my doctor told me I had athlete’s foot, and emotionally I felt “dirty” until the creams and ointments cleared up the fungus.

Unfortunately, casual sex is expected by too many, and practically revered by  leftists.  Enter Sandra Fluke publicly demanding that free contraception be given to all sexually-active women. I wonder why someone didn’t argue that the monetary cost of complimentary contraception is miniscule compared with the cost of treating the STD’s that will be transmitted during all that “free” sex.

The facts:

• According to a recent CDC (Center for Disease Control) survey only 60% of high-school students who have had sex used a condom the last time they had intercourse.

50% of HS students say they’ve had sex at least once. (This statistic may be low because many don’t consider oral sex as “sex.”)

• According to the AP article entitled “1 in 4 teen girls has a sexually transmitted disease” not only did 25 percent of teenage girls have an STD, “among those who admitted to having sex, the rate was even more disturbing—40 percent had an STD.”  Black girls suffered worst:  48 percent of them had an STD.

The National Cancer Institute at the National Institute of Health stated that the human papillomavirus, which is “spread through direct skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, and oral sex, causes virtually all cervical cancers and most anal cancers and some vaginal, vulvar, penile, and oropharyngeal cancers (cancers in the middle part of the throat.)” And the risk isn’t limited to women. The title of a 2011 NBCNews.com article adequately sums up the situation:  “Cancer spike, mainly in men, tied to HPV from oral sex.”  The article added that “we can expect some 10,000 to 15,000 patients with the oropharyngeal cancers per year in the United States, with the great majority having HPV-positive (cancers.) “High risk HPV infections account for approximately 5 percent of cancers worldwide.”

According to the CDC, “Chlamydia and gonorrhea are important preventable causes of infertility,” even though “most women infected with Chlamydia or gonorrhea have no symptoms.  There are “an estimated 2.8 million cases of Chlamydia and 718,000 cases of gonorrhea that occur annually in the United States.” Each year untreated STDs cause 24,000 women in the US to become infertile.”  STD’s cause approximately one-fourth of all infertility in women, and treatment to rectify infertility can be very costly.

I won’t elaborate on how STD’s affect babies.  But babies can get the dread disease from their mothers causing stillbirths, low birth weight (less than five pounds), conjunctivitis (eye infection) pneumonia, neonatal sepsis (infection in the baby’s blood stream), neurologic damage, blindness, deafness, acute hepatitis, meningitis, chronic liver disease, and cirrhosis.

STD’s truly are “the gift that keep on giving.”

Again I will ask, “Where is the outcry?”  If there were enough voices outraged by the outright disregard of the issue that is bringing so much emotional and physical pain, death and monetary waste, maybe…just maybe we could help bring this deception to the forefront.

Another Kind of Storm Striking New York City

Ann Bailey

New York City is back in the news with another form of devastation plaguing its citizens, a kind that isn’t usually discussed in polite company.  According to a new report from the Department of Health, the spread of HIV/AIDS, syphilis, hepatitis B, chlamydia, and gonorrhea is “soaking” almost every one of the city’s neighborhoods.

Based on metrics from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), of the 181 New York City zip codes tracked for disease, one-third of them were in the top 20 percent for multiple STDs.  Areas in the Bronx were the hardest hit with 68 percent of its neighborhoods in the highest percentiles for two or more diseases.  But the tony areas of New York City have certainly not escaped this scourge.  HIV/AIDS and syphilis both ranked in the top quintile in areas like Greenwich Village/SoHo and Chelsea/Hell’s Kitchen.  While only Staten Island – the area hardest hit by Super Storm Sandy – had no high-morbidity zip codes.

Yet New York City prides itself on its sexual liberalism and then tries to control the consequences through so-called “progressive approaches” to sex education and condom distribution.  Like the latest one called CATCH (Connecting Adolescents to Comprehensive Healthcare) where students at school can’t get an aspirin without parental permission, but they can receive birth control injections, condoms and the dangerous “morning-after pill.”

Oh yes, did I mention that New York City is infamous for having one of the highest abortion rates in the country?

All things considered, I have to ask NYC citizens and policy makers:  “How’s that sexual liberalism thing working out for ya?”

A Little “Stigmatization” Goes A Long Way…

Mary Jane Fritzen

Recently PBS Newshour included a sad segment about the increasing numbers of young Americans with HIV. “Teens and young adults now account for more than a quarter of the new cases of HIV identified in the United States annuals, and a clear majority of those cases involve young gay or bisexual men, the federal government said in a major news survey Tuesday.”   Gay men are still the American population most at risk for AIDS .  What can we do?  The Center for Disease Control said we should remove the stigma so that more will seek diagnosis and help, and we should increase education and condoms.

Would it not be more effective to warn young people about the cause-effect relationship between homosexual relations and HIV-AIDS?   Of course the disease is also spread in other ways of transmitting bodily fluids from one person to another, through used hypodermic needles or infected blood transfusions.  Babies born to mothers with AIDS are innocent victims.  When some persons acquired AIDS due to blood transfusions from infected persons, immediately blood donors were screened and transfusions made safe.   AIDS is spread in several ways; nevertheless it is a sexually transmitted disease.  Knowing that homosexual relations transmit HIV, why not link the cause to its effect?

Is there a parallel in our experience identifying smoking with lung cancer? 

During the past decades, when smoking was popular, courageous physicians testified it caused lung cancer, and so Americans have since stigmatized smoking. Not all smokers acquire lung cancer and not all lung cancer is caused by smoking, but fewer people die of lung cancer now that popular sentiment is against it. Considering the cause-effect, could we help prevent HIV-AIDS by discouraging homosexual relations instead of popularizing gays and their behaviors?  We must be kind and respectful, but the pendulum seems to be swinging too far in the opposite direction.

Certainly none of us are perfect and there are plenty of bad habits and behaviors that need addressing and correcting.  But instead of assuming that homosexuals have no choice but to act upon their inclinations, let’s be open and honest about what the consequences of those inclinations might be.  The last thing we need to be doing is popularizing and normalizing a behavior that has such life-threatening consequences.  It appears to me that some “stigmatization” could save some young people’s lives.

Editor’s note:  Mary Jane Fritzen is UFI’s newest blogger.   At over 80 years old, she’s an articulate and dedicated supporter of the family.    She’s an inspiration to us all!

Acceptance of Diversity or All-out Indoctrination?

Rachel Allison

Just over eighteen months ago a friend of mine heard about a program being presented at a high school across town.  It was advertised as a  Pinal County LGBTQ Youth Summit.  (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer) Recognizing that such a program could prove provocative, we decided to sit in on the event.

There were several teachers, and adult presenters, but my friend and I were the only parents in attendance. There were probably forty students who attended the mini conference.   All were asked to sign in with name and contact information.

Among other pro-gay groups, “One in Ten” Leadership was at this summit to promote safety and acceptance of those who are in the above category.  They claim that eighty percent of their work is helping schools, counselors, and administrations create safe schools for transgendered youth. But they also admit that their camps promote ways to empower youth who think they are or may be LGBTQ.

An openly gay young man conducted the program.  But before the meeting even started he had worked the crowd and had won us all over with his charisma and charm.  He talked to all of us for just a few minutes about the support his team was there to offer, and then a video clip from ABC news was shown that depicted the fatal effects that bullying had on a heterosexual young man. I hate bullying, and this film portrayed its cruelty.  Of course our hearts went out to the young man in the video…but we were a bit confused by the presentation of heterosexual bullying when the presentation was supposed to be about gay/lesbian/transgender/bisexual abuse.  We didn’t know if there were documented cases of gay bullying or not, but they didn’t discuss it if there were.

At this point in the presentation it was announced that all the adults were supposed to go to one classroom, and all the youth were to go to another classroom.  This did not sit well with either my friend or me, but we recognized ourselves as “outsiders” in this group so we followed orders.  We were “taught” that there is a difference between sex and gender.  We were told that expanding our understanding to include a gender spectrum may be challenging, uncomfortable and even painful…that it requires bucking a lifetime of training, socialization, assumptions and practice, and that it would challenge our moral, religious and cultural traditions…..  Well, their philosophy certainly does all that!  I tuned in and out of the dialogue, as I was more concerned about what was being taught to the vulnerable youth in the next classroom.

All of these memories came flooding back as I read the article posted on World Family News,  “Gorham Middle School Officials Apologize for Diversity Day Discussion.” According to the article Gorham Middle School recently hosted representatives of a group called PRYSM, Proud Rainbow Youth of Southern Maine, to talk about gender diversity and discrimination.  When it was learned that homosexual foreplay was discussed, the Principal knew a major apology was in order.

After reading the article, it would not surprise me if the very group that came to our city and state taught inappropriate dialogue to the youth who were alone in their classroom.   I wonder if adults were actually present at Gorham Middle School.  Perhaps the youth and adults were separated just like the presentation in Arizona that I attended.

Parents, please tune in to all that your children are being exposed to.  There are elements of society who would love nothing more than to indoctrinate the lonely, vulnerable and confused.  (Having had five teenagers I witnessed the lonely, vulnerable and confused moments of their pre-adult years OFTEN.)  If your child insists on attending diversity presentations offered at school, accompany him.  And whatever else happens, do NOT let him/her go into a room with Gay agenda promoters, unless accompanied by you or an adult that you trust COMPLETELY.

Not everyone is doing it

Ann Bailey

“So what programs on television promote and/or normalize premarital sex?”  That was the question that I asked UFI’s intern.  She paused for a moment and replied:  “All of them!”    Contrary to what you are led to believe by media and popular culture, convincing young people to remain abstinent before marriage is not a lost cause.

A recent report compiled by  the National Abstinence Education Association (NAEA) gives a wealth of information as to what has happened to adolescents over the last four decades.  It compares Comprehensive Sex Education and Abstinence Education and dispels many myths; myths such as:

• “young people are going to have pre-marital sex no matter what adults say or do”
• “if you just put on a condom when you have sex, you’ll be safe from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections”
• “if you use a condom, you won’t get pregnant”
• “sex is a recreational activity and should not be limited by anything except that both parties should be consenting.”

These are just a few.  You can go hereto see the report and see why the above statements are naive, out-dated, and simply wrong.   But one thing that was most interesting to me  was the chart below.   Fewer adolescents – not more – are having sex outside of marriage.   Note also that the percentage of abstinent guys is now approaching the same percentage as for young women.  Appears that the trend line is pretty good!

It is also interesting to note that the large percentage increase in numbers of youth who remain abstinent corresponds to the Bush administration’s push for abstinence education programs in schools.  Coincidence?  Read the report and find out.

If you have children – no matter what their age – this is some important  information for you to know  and share.

All in the Name of Love

Rachel Allison

Last Wednesday night my husband and I had the opportunity to attend the Presidential debate.  What an exciting evening!  And we had great seats….right behind CNN’s technical crew.  We not only had a great view of the stage, but we could see a small television screen in front of the technicians that showed us what the folks at home were seeing.  We were also able to see how this same crew reacted to some of the answers to John King’s questions.

The reaction was most evident when Mr. King asked about contraceptives.  The crowd “booed,” but the candidates went on to spend precious time answering the question.  At the point when one of the candidates suggested that “abstinence before marriage should be taught” the technicians exchanged looks and chuckled in derision.

That little exchange bothered me for all of five seconds, as I judged them (yes, I judged them) and labeled them “promiscuous” ….and then my attention refocused on what was happening in the debate.

Today I received an email that reminded me of that five second annoyance.  The email had a link to a blog entitled “I’m Committed to Abstinence, Virgin is Not a Dirty Word.”  The blogger’s name is Kristen Walker and she writes for LifeSightNews.com.

May I quote just part of her words?

“I personally believe that the best way for a child to come into the world is being born to two people who are married — that is, committed to one another in the eyes of God and man. Therefore, I decided, to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, that I was going to be the change I wished to see in the world. I was going to put my money where my mouth was and stop engaging in baby-making activities until I was in the situation I felt was best for baby-having activities…”

Then she wrote something that I wish ALL adults believed and taught to their children…

“Moral law is based on natural law. The reason God gave us all these pesky rules is because they’re good for us. When people follow the basic tenets of Judeo-Christian sexual morality, they lead better lives. They lead lives of loving responsibility in which they react to positive pregnancy tests with tears of joy, hugs, and excited phone calls, as opposed to panic-barfing and fear-sweat.”…

It was this next paragraph that made me hurt for the women who have bought into the sexual freedom movement.

…”I’ve lived the other life. I was never what you’d call promiscuous, but nor was I what you’d call sexually moral. Because of my willingness to give of myself completely to men who weren’t willing to give me the same, I lived a life of heartbreak and confusion. Finally, about four years ago, I noticed that every time I gave my heart away, I wasn’t getting it all back. Every go-round, there seemed to be less and less of my heart to give. I was becoming less open, more guarded, even bitter. I could feel a wall growing around my heart, and it was thick and it was high.”

“I knew that one day, God willing, I was going to have a husband. Did I want him to end up with the leftovers, the dregs? Did I want him to have to mount a high wall to get to my heart?”…

I strongly suggest you read her entire entry…and share it with those you love. Discussion on the topic needs to be open and honest.  There is a little book entitled “Unprotected” by Dr. Miriam Grossman, that also needs to be in every home.   It’s a quick read that explains what is happening in our “do what comes naturally” society.  It made my heart break for the women who destroy their lives, all in the name of love.

 

 

 

Straight Talk for Those Who Buy into Hollywood’s Values

By Rachel Allison

Hollywood and the media send “in your face” messages of sexual lies that far too often men and women swallow, hook, line and sinker.  “Sex on the first date?  That’s okay, it was love at first sight”.  “You waited to have sex until the third or fourth date?  You’re a pillar of self-control.”  “You choose to wait until you are married to have sexual intimacy?  You are a prude. “

Let’s talk facts.

1.  According to medical studies intimate behavior floods the brain with oxytocin, a chemical that fuels attachment.  When oxytocin levels are high, a person is more likely to overlook the partner’s faults, and take risks not normally taken.  When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green.  It plays a major role in what’s called “the biochemistry of attachment.”

According to Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD, girls, in particular, can develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with her.  She might think of him all day, but he can’t remember her name.

2.  Science has confirmed the existence of “beer goggles”—when a person seems more attractive to you after you’ve had a few drinks.  In a British study, eighty college students rated photos of unfamiliar faces of men and women their age; alcohol consumption significantly raised the scores given to photos of the opposite sex. Drinking affects the nucleus accumbens, the area of the brain used to determine facial attractiveness.  It’s probably one of several reasons that casual, high-risk sex is often preceded by alcohol consumption.

3.  A recent study of the hook-up culture at Princeton University reveals:  Before the hook-up:  Girls expect emotional involvement almost twice as often as guys; 34 percent hope “a relationship might evolve.”  Guys, more than girls, are in part motivated by hopes of improving their social reputation, or of bragging about their exploits to friends the next day.  After the hook-up:  91 percent of girls admit to having feelings of regret.  Guilt and “feeling used” are commonly cited, and overall, 80 percent of girls wish the hook-up hadn’t happened.

Other studies have shown:  84 percent of women said that after having sex a few times, even with someone they didn’t want to be emotionally involved with, they begin to feel vulnerable and would at least like to know if the other person cares about them.

As the number of casual sex partners in the past year increased, so did signs of depression in college women.  Forty nine percent of students whose hook-up included intercourse never see one another again, and less than 10 percent of “friends with benefits” develop into romance.

4.  A younger cervix is more vulnerable to infection.  The younger cervix has a vulnerable area one cell thick, called the transformation zone.  It’s easy for HPV (the human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts, and even cervical cancer) to settle in there.  That’s why most teen girls are infected from one of their first sexual partners.  By adulthood the transformation zone is replaced with a thicker, tougher surface.  Even though these infections are common, and usually disappear with time, learning you have one can be devastating.  Natural reactions are shock, anger, and confusion.  “Who did I get this from, and when?  Was he unfaithful?  Who should I tell? And hardest of all:  Who will want me now?  These concerns can affect concentration, sleep, mood, and can deal a serious blow to one’s self-esteem.

The HPV vaccine is a major achievement, but the protection it provides is limited. You are still vulnerable to other infections like herpes, Chlamydia, HIV, and non-covered strains of HPV….not to mention the emotional trauma inflicted.

5.  Most guys who have a sexually transmitted infection don’t know it. Routine testing for men does not provide information about HPV or herpes.  It’s easiest to transmit herpes or HPV when warts or sores are present, but it can also happen at other times, when everything looks OK.  Condoms only reduce the risk by 60-70 percent.  So you may still pay a price, even if both partners are tested and a condom is used every time.

6.  And about those other sexual activities…having more than five oral sex partners has been associated with throat cancer.  Turns out that HPV can cause malignant tumors in the throat, just like it does in the cervix.

In a study of sexually active college men, HPV was found both where you’d expect—the genital area—and where you wouldn’t:  under fingernails.  Researchers now speculate whether the virus can be shared during activities considered “safe,” like mutual masturbation.

According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 30 percent of all women will have had anal intercourse by the age of 24.  Even with condoms, this behavior places them at increased risk of infection with HIV and other STDs.  For example, the risk for HIV transmission during anal intercourse is at least 20 times higher than with vaginal intercourse.  The government website, www.fda.gov, provides no-nonsense advice about avoiding HIV:  “Condoms provide some protection, but anal intercourse is simply too dangerous to practice.”

7.  Seventy-five percent of college freshmen say that raising a family is an “essential or very important goal.”  But 55 percent of younger high-achieving women are childless at 35.  And 89 percent of them think they’ll be able to get pregnant into their forties.

It’s easiest for a woman to conceive and deliver a healthy child in her twenties.  Fertility declines slightly at 30, and more dramatically at 35.  Some may imagine that the waiting rooms of fertility clinics are packed with obese women smoking cigarettes.  Wrong!  They are filled with health-conscious women who work out and count calories.  They are there because they’re forty.

 Hollywood’s lie?  “Exploring and experimenting with sex is fulfilling, exciting, and satisfying.” 

Don’t fall for it.  It’s easy to forget, but the characters on Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City are not real.  In real life, Meredith and Carrie would have warts or herpes.  They’d likely be on Prozac or Zoloft. Today a woman cannot have multiple partners without paying a price.

Most of this article comes from Sense and Sexuality by Miriam Grossman, M.D.

For your bookshelf:  “Unprotected” by Miriam Grossman, M.D.,  “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, M.D. and “Taking Sex Differences Seriously” by Steven E. Rhoads, Ph.D.

Are early sexual relationships OK or not?

Is the early sexualization of girls OK or not?  Those that push their “sexual and reproductive health” policies at the UN seem to be confused.  A quick perusal of some recent conference documents will show you language like this paragraph from the resolution negotiated at the recent Commission on Population and Development (2011).

 PP20. Recognizing that under-age and forced marriage and early sexual relationships have adverse psychological effects on girls and that early pregnancy and early motherhood entail complications during pregnancy and delivery and a risk of maternal mortality and morbidity that is much greater than average…,

 Did you notice the phrase “early sexual relationships have adverse psychological effects on girls…?”  We agree!  But here’s the insane part.  Just a few paragraphs earlier – in the same UN document – there is a paragraph touting the importance of “providing young people with comprehensive education on human sexuality, on sexual and reproductive health…”  You might not think that’s a big deal until you know what the UN-types consider to be good comprehensive education on human sexuality.

International Planned Parenthood and UNFPA have recently introduced their “It’s All ONE” program and it’s being promoted to the children of the world.  This new comprehensive sex education curriculum trains students in “pleasuring themselves and others” with masturbation, oral and anal sex, and the techniques for achieving an orgasm as well as promoting same-sex behavior, abortion rights, and legalization of prostitution.  This curriculum openly tells young people that it is not necessary to wait until marriage to have sexual relations.

The custom of under-age and forced marriage needs to end – now!   But to then see a phrase like “early sexual relationships have adverse psychological effects on girls” coming from people who promote anything and everything sexual for young people, leaves you shaking your head in amazement.

It appears that the radical left is totally OK with young girls having sex – just as long as they’re not married.

 

Inside the UN: The “West” is Obsessed with Sex

Inside the UN:  The Commission on Population and Development 2011

“The West is Obsessed with Sex” read the bold caption on a flyer handed out to UN delegates by our pro-family coalition back in 2000.  As this year’s Commission on Population and Development (CPD) unfolded, the need to resurrect that flyer became ever more evident.

With the machinations of most of the countries of the European Union,  the U.S. delegation, and their other allies from the “west,”  the original CPD draft document became swollen with references to sexual rights, human sexuality education, reproductive health services, comprehensive sex education, family planning and commodities “including male and female condoms”  and the list goes on…   At one point the draft document had at least 80 references to those topics housed in a document that had started out being just eight pages, but now stood at 22 pages.

At the same time, we were thrilled that “family-supportive” delegations (mostly from developing countries) were organized and working together beautifully so that a lot of our proposed “good” language had also made it into the draft document.   We want to report that we have never seen such organization, articulate argument, determination, and courage among these delegations – we won’t list the countries for fear we’d leave some out.  When these delegations’ efforts were mixed with the well-coordinated efforts among the pro-family NGOs to provide alternate language, talking points, research information, and general support – it was an inspiration to see and to be a part!

As the Friday deadline for completion loomed, the negotiations were moving very quickly as United Families and other pro-family groups worked furiously to craft language to temper and qualify what the opposition had proposed and added to the now “sex-saturated” draft document.   The opposition worked just as hard as we did to turn the tide of the negotiations to favor their positions.  It was very disheartening as the week progressed and the European Union negotiating bloc had broken up allowing them to have more voices to give input and monopolize the negotiation dialogue.

At one point, the maneuvering spilt out into the UN cafeteria area as International Planned Parenthood Federation and their well-funded and well-fed lobbyists and allies managed to take over the seating area and tables that the pro-life/pro-family groups had been using all week.  We thought that was a funny turn of events and chuckled as they smirked at us as we took up new tables and seating positions across the way.   We admit, however, that we were salivating over their pizza and mountains of take-out food that they ordered in for the long, ’till 3 a.m., negotiations while we used our own money and the almost-empty vending machines to satisfy our hunger.

As Friday moved closer, the sheer size of the document meant that it would probably not be completed negotiated and “consensus” reached by the end of day.  Thus the document would end up in the hands of the Chairperson or Facilitator to compile a “Chairman’s text” – something that rarely favors pro-family positions.

So how did it all turn out?

Although the document started out as one of the worst we’ve seen in years and in spite of the mountains of disastrous language that had been added, the Facilitator’s Text ended up not being what it should have been, but was not nearly as bad as it could have been.  It appeared that the strength of the pro-life/pro-family countries efforts during the negotiations held some sway with the facilitator, but not enough to win the removal of the one specific reference to “reproductive health services” (used as a euphemism for abortion).

The other reproductive rights references were tempered to some degree – including a retained reference to “in no case should abortion be promoted as a method of family planning.” It was also disheartening that five different references to “sexuality education” remained in spite of 23 countries’ objections to that type of phrase.

It must be noted that this document cannot be construed as “consensus,” but rather a compilation of wording chosen by a facilitator.  This is the third year in a row that the CPD document has been thrown to a facilitator’s text.

It was gratifying, however, to see some of our suggested language included in the text; such things as:

*    “with appropriate direction and guidance from parents and legal guardians,”
*    “with full respect for the various religious and ethical values and cultural backgrounds of its people”
*    “unethical practices regarding female infanticide and prenatal sex selection”
*    “Recognizes the rights, duties and responsibilities of parents”
*    “as well as voluntary abstinence and fidelity”

Those might seem like simple phrases, but they represent hours and hours of hard work on the part of many people and have consequence in the international arena.  That those types of phrases would be controversial at all, speaks to the anti-family forces that exert their influence within the UN system.  Suffice it to say that the opposition actively worked to have those phrases removed.  We had hoped for a paragraph regarding “family as the fundamental unit of society,” but it was not included this round.

United Families International is once again grateful to have had the opportunity to have been there to give assistance.   We’ve been shoring up pro-family policy for over 30 years – more than 15 years of that working directly within the UN system to protect the family.  Thank you for your involvement and interest in this crucial work.  We’re all in this together!  We’ll keep you posted as we approach a busy summer season of important UN meetings that have the potential to affect your family.