The Drug of Choice: Pornography

Charles Bower & Shyla Johnson

If we were to hear of a drug, one that would ruin our families and our communities, what would we do? Would we encourage our children to avoid it? Certainly. Would we make sure it never enters our homes? Of course. Suppose though that this drug could enter your home so covertly that you wouldn’t even realize its presence. That drug is here and it’s called the “new cocaine” by the Daily Mail. This “cocaine” isn’t injected or snorted through the nose, it’s viewed; this drug is pornography and it’s everywhere at every time.

Numerous men find themselves caught up in this addiction. To a Christian magazine, one woman writes her story of her relationship with her husband and the effects pornography had on her and their family.

“When I discovered that my beloved eternal companion had become ensnared by pornography, I experienced the intense pain a wife in such a situation suffers. It is a deep sense of soul sickness, betrayal, and spiritual agony. It feels like the very roots of a precious eternal marriage have been yanked out of the safety and protection of gospel ground and, exposed to all the elements, begin to wilt and die. There is a sense of panic. The safety and peace of the marriage relationship evaporate. Trust, respect, honor, love…—all are deeply injured.

“For some months I had known something was not right. My husband and I had always been close, and our marriage had been very happy. But now there was an emotional distance, a barrier of some kind between us….

“Within only a few weeks, my husband, sick with the flu, went to bed, leaving his computer on. As I started to shut it down, I suddenly felt I should check it. There was the pornography.

“In the midst of the flood of feelings that nearly overwhelmed me, I knew my discovery was an answer to my prayers. I don’t know how long I was on my knees or how long my cheeks were wet with tears, but as I poured out my heart to [God], the comfort made possible by the Atonement of our Savior began to fill my soul. My pain and fear were lifted. Spiritual insights flowed into my mind and heart. I saw that my husband and I and our eternal marriage were precious to [God], and I knew that He would help us.”

A Harmless Habit?

While pornography is more often sloughed off as harmless and a minor vice, there is no denying that it permeates society, especially the family. Simply put, it is addictive. Pornography causes tremendous biological and chemical reactions in the brain that it has similar effects as the powerful narcotics fought in the War on Drugs. The release of pleasurable chemicals in the brain rewires pornography users to desire more and more their release and the thrill it brings. Those users are not only men, but women too. An estimated one sixth of visitors to pornography sites on the internet are women, though men are more likely to visit pornographic websites.

Pornography is the disgusting scar on sexuality around the world. As men and women view pornography, they damage their emotional ties to their families. Pornography encourages secrecy and wrongly expressed sexuality. Sexuality is best displayed in a loving marriage where each partner can provide one another with satisfaction, but with pornography, users are encouraged to develop self-centered sexuality with pornography’s cohort: masturbation. This also leads to sexual frustration, violent sexual behavior, as well as an unrealistic perception of healthy sexual relations. Healthy sexuality is an expression of love and devotion, while pornography causes a degeneration of sexuality to the viewer’s enjoyment. It constantly tells us that it is right to treat other people as objects of desire for our gratification. Recent studies have found that after viewing online pornography, men report less interest in sex with their partners leading to a reduced relational satisfaction. If half of all marriages end in divorce, it would be right to consider the pervasiveness of pornography today and the reasons so many couples do not remain together.

Just as narcotics and other drugs exhibit side effects, so does pornography. As husbands, wives, and parents, we need to be vigilant in identifying these symptoms:

• Failure to control sexual behavior,
• Continuing to view pornography in spite of attempts to stop,
• Withdrawal or other emotional changes,

If we find a loved one using pornography, we must be sure to reach out with love. Numerous 12-step programs are available, as well as local support groups and addiction specialists. Because pornography is not yet classified as a medical addiction, specialists of sexual addiction in general may need to be consulted.

Legal implications surrounding pornography

Taken together, it is easy for us to ask: What are the legal implications surrounding pornography? We’re quite familiar that in the United States, viewers must be 18 to access adult content, though lewd images and videos can be found regardless. Child pornography has been illegal in most countries for some time thanks to the efforts coordinated by Interpol and the United States Department of Justice. However, most Western nations, i.e. United States, Canada, Mexico, and most European nations, declare pornography as legal. Many Asian, Middle Eastern, and North African nations declare pornography to be illegal or legal under restrictions.

In the United States specifically, printed, visual, and auditory materials must meet specific criteria to determine if it is obscene. Obscene materials are put to the “Miller test,” a three-pronged test developed from the 1973 Supreme Court case Miller v. California. To be considered obscene, an “average person applying community standards” would find the work arousing, the work would display or describe sexual acts, and lacks serious “literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.” Only when all three conditions are met is the work considered obscene.

Citizens of the United States and other nations employing similar measures need to understand that they have the power to remove such materials from their communities and homes. Legislation can be proposed by any citizen at any level of government that opposes pornography. Internet filters are easy to come by and many are free to download. While these are good measures to take, parents and couples should ensure their safety by clearly teaching children and each other the dangers of pornography.

The Marriage and Religion Research Institute tells us that our “main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate parental monitoring of Internet use.” Further, by reaching out with love to those affected by its grasp, we can help build up our homes, neighborhoods, and communities. Just as with any business, if there are no customers, pornographers and peddlers of lewd works will eventually go out of business. We can make that happen.

Shyla Johnson is a student at BYU-Idaho studying Child Development. She is interested in advocating for the family because she believes the family is worth fighting for. She has a wonderful family that has taught her values and skills that made her who she is today.

 

Charles Bower is a senior studying sociology and marriage and family studies at BYU-Idaho. Growing up with his sisters and brother, he grew to understand the importance of a unified family. He and his wife, Megan, have been married for 10 months.

 

 

 

The Demise of Guys? Over My Dead Body

Gregg Murset

I recently read the book entitled, “The Demise of Guys” and was totally shocked at the statistics reinforcing what I instinctively already knew in my head. As the author put it, “guys are flaming out”. Crashing and burning. Biting the dust.

Well, I for one, am not letting my guys ages 15, 10, 8 and almost 6 “flame out”. Nope… over my dead body is that going to happen.

These guys are growing up in a world that would have no problem if they just completely wasted all the potential they have wrapped up inside of them. Just chewed them up and spit them out. These guys need a man that has been down the road a little further than they have been, to help lead the way and educate them about all the pitfalls out there.

That is what a real man does right?

So why are guys going down in flames? Well, there are a number of contributing factors but the two biggest reasons fit into the same category: technology. Specifically, video games and online pornography.

The average young person will spend 10,000 hours gaming by age 21. What? With so many boys running around now with a gaming device in their front pocket, I’m not really that surprised. Every time there is a spare minute, out comes the video game and the time wasting begins. The author put this in context when he stated that it takes the
average college student only half that time – 4,800 hours – to earn a bachelor’s degree.  Let’s see here… a college degree or hours of mind numbing gaming? Unfortunately, many guys are choosing the latter to their own demise. I’m not bashing the occasional virtual adventure on a winter day, but 10,000 hours? Come on.

The pornography business is picking up speed at a staggering rate and destroying guys left and right as it barrels down the tracks. One in three boys is now considered a “heavy” porn user, viewing nearly two hours of porn every week. Really? Seriously?  Worldwide, pornography is almost a 100 billion dollar industry. This filth is peddled to anyone that will take a look, with the hope that they will take another look and yet another until they are stuck in an addictive cycle that destroys their ability to have normal interactions with others, especially those of the opposite sex.

Well, as disheartening as these statistics may be… take courage, I have a few simple solutions to consider:

First, boys need more to do. They need to be given more responsibility earlier on in life.  How about some jobs around the house for heavens sake? It’s hard to game or get in trouble on the internet while you have a lawn mower or a paintbrush in your hand! Have them get off the couch or come out of their room, where they are more than likely
gaming in seclusion, and do something productive. They might cuss you under their breath when they are younger but I believe they will praise your name later in life.  Shoot, maybe even sincerely thank you face to face! Wouldn’t that be nice? The men that have my respect are real men that know how to work hard.

Secondly, boys need some goals. A clear vision of what they could or should be doing with their time. If they aren’t gaming so much or looking at porn, that leaves a lot of time to do something worthwhile. So sit down with your son, nephew, friend, whoever, and help open their eyes to the many other meaningful things that they could be doing with
their time. Read good books, learn how to play an instrument or take on a new language. Get interested in a hobby like hunting or fishing or enroll them in some other organized sport.

Maybe it’s weight lifting or running or mountain biking. Help them set some financial goals and teach them how to make good financial decisions. Help them understand that good things come to those that wait. Maybe it’s saving up for the car they might be dreaming of when they get into High School. As they set some goals and then make the effort to achieve those goals they will have an increased sense of self worth. Not some lame, fake, and fleeting self worth that comes from achieving another level on a video game or being momentarily aroused by yet another pornographic image.

You know what’s going to happen if we can keep them out of this technology trap? They are going to do better in school, have better social skills, be more self-motivated, learn how to work and make good money decisions. All in all, they are going to be more pleasant to be around. Bonus!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying to go on complete and total technology lock down. Don’t freak out and pile up the iPhones and start a bon-fire or anything. These little gadgets are totally amazing if used for the right purposes. We just need to make sure that these guys that we are raising are given some guidance so they aren’t the ones that get run over by this technological train barreling down the tracks.

The demise of guys? Well, for my four guys it’s going to have to be over my dead body.

Gregg Murset is the Founder of http://www.myjobchart.com and father of four boys and two girls.

The Contagion Called Pornography

Kristi Kane

Several years ago, my family was on vacation when my husband received a frantic call from his sister. She was crying so hard that my husband could not understand what she was trying to say. After several minutes, she was able to calm down long enough to tell my husband what she was trying to say: her husband had been arrested for trying to satisfy a pornographic perversion. The story even made the local news. All of us who knew him were in disbelief. The evidence against him was damning. Was this really the  brother-in-law I’d known for so many years? Needless to say, the world of our entire family was rocked. My brother-in-law, his wife and family, were humiliated and ashamed, and my husband’s sister went into depression. Anger and a feeling of betrayal were her constant companions. How had this all begun?

Before my brother-in-law was even a teenager, pornography was introduced to him by older cousins. We learned later that our brother-in-law had struggled and fought against an addiction to pornography for nearly 35 years. He felt ashamed and did not want to tell anyone, and to our knowledge, did not tell anyone about his constant battle with this addiction. However, it had left its mark. He immediately lost his job, and nearly lost his marriage. For several months his children were estranged from him. They could not understand what their father had done or why he had done it. They were faced with the same thoughts: who is this man who calls himself our father? How could he have done this to us? How could he have done this to our mother?

Road to Recovery

 The road to recovery from this addiction has not been easy. The first year was the hardest. The community in which my brother-in-law and sister-in-law lived was divided. Some were hateful to him, others showed pity. Counseling was sought and tools were given that helped to heal an ailing marriage and an overpowering addiction. Time has helped to heal the wounds of this particular situation, but to this day, this remains an unforgettable and shocking experience for our family.

Years ago I heard a morality tale about a young man at the top of a mountain. As he descended the mountain, he noticed a rattlesnake curled on a warm rock. The snake spoke to him and asked him to  carry him to the bottom of the mountain. The young man was hesitant, “But you’re a rattlesnake. You might bite me and I would die.” “I promise I will not bite you. Please just carry me down.” The young man conceded to the request and carried the snake down the mountain. As he put the snake down, it bit him on the hand. “Why did you do that?! Why did you bite me? You promised you wouldn’t!” The snake then replied, “You knew what I was when you picked me up.”

Why do people start viewing pornography? My first guess would be curiosity. Unfortunately many in society have developed an unbelievable tolerance to pornography because they believe it’s a natural thing to do. They may surmise that this is a man’s nature. They cannot help themselves. They want to view naked women. They need a “release.” To these surmisers, I would say, “rubbish.” People can and do exercise self-control every day in tempting situations. The trick is to not go anywhere near these situations, and if they arise, get out of there quickly.

A New Target

Currently, the world of pornography has a new target: women and teens. They want to make it more appealing to them and get them addicted to the practice of viewing and reading porn. To these women and children, I would say, don’t touch it! It is the filthiest of the filthy evil bile ever created by man. Anyone who has ever touched pornography in any way, has never walked away a better person because of it.   Often those who view it become addicted, and it begins its acidic decay into the brain, affecting work performance, marital relations, and meaningful relationships with people. It sullies everything which matters most: work, family, community.

To give you another sad example of the tragic outcome of pornography: several years ago, my niece married a man who was addicted to pornography. She did not know this at the time. After a short while it became apparent that he was. He would tell her he would not be intimate with her unless she spent more time at the gym. He told her her breasts were too small and encouraged  breast augmentation and other cosmetic surgery. He was never happy with anything she said or did. What was happening here? He was comparing her to the latest porn queen, and she was not measuring up. After several months, their marriage ended.

As I said before, do not touch pornography. Don’t think that viewing it one time for kicks or out of curiosity will be a harmless thing to do. Think of the snake. Don’t pick it up. Don’t touch it. It is a damning practice in every way, meant to destroy the beautiful spirits of men and women by debasing them into objects of lust. It only harms. It is the most fatal poison to a normal mind in the way it warps and twists what is beautiful, meaningful and miraculous: the human body and the act of intimacy between a married couple.

If you are addicted to pornography or are starting to dabble in pornography, get help. Don’t delay. The sooner you begin recovery, the sooner you can put your life back in order before you lose that which matters most.

Which Part of the Following Did you Buy/Are You Buying/Will You Buy?

Maddi Gillel

 “Lenin, and later Joseph Stalin, determined that in order to maintain control of the people it would be necessary to completely destroy the family and re-structure it. They passed a law that one could obtain a divorce simply by mailing or delivering a postcard to the local register without the necessity of even notifying the spouse being divorced. This state, along with the communist encouragement of sexual immorality during marriage, approval of abortion, and forcing women out of the home into the workforce, accomplished its purpose of destroying the Russian family.”  -Soviet expert Mikhail Heller

I graduated from high school and attended college during the 60’s.  High school was alright, but when I went to college, many of the attitudes of the 60’s were being adopted, and in one particular class, the teacher was buying it all and spreading it to us.  I was ridiculed one day in class for my religious activities – by the teacher, and followed up by a few of the students.  I did not like the 60’s.  I didn’t agree with anything that was going on.

You might have guessed that I am reading a book called “The Marketing of Evil” by David Kupelian.  It is excellent.  He states that there were some far-reaching happenings in the 60’s that began the downward spiral of the family in our culture:

1-    Governor Reagan signed the no-fault divorce law (which he later regretted). This traveled like wildfire to all 50 states within a few years.

2-    Kennedy’s assassination – a national shock which signaled the end of American’s innocence.

3-    The Vietnam War – This war was ideologically waged for a noble cause: to help the Vietnamese fight the communists who were invading their country, but the war was executed disastrously by incompetent leaders, so it became controversial and divided our nation.

4-    Rock music invasion from England (Beatles, Rolling Stones) exerted a powerful hold on America’s youth and soon introduced the psychedelic drug culture.

5-    Widespread confusion among America’s churches and churchgoers over God.  “IS GOD DEAD?” became THE question of the time. This caused anxiety and uncertainty which caused a vacuum into which all kinds of alien philosophies and beliefs flooded: occultism, paganism, channeling, and New Age practices of every conceivable sort.  This also opened up a torrent of “liberation” movements:  sexual, women’s, and gays.

There were other factors that helped roll this revolution along, but you get the idea.

I was too young to realize all this was happening, but I knew that our culture was becoming more and more unsettled and angry.  As I said before, I was sometimes alone in my beliefs and activities if they were contrary to the new belief system invading our world.  I didn’t like any of it.  I didn’t buy into any of it.

Where do we go from here?

• How about a serious return to family?– champion the family, defend it, make sure our family is as strong and healthy as possible.
• How about a return to religion? Let’s see what the scriptures say about how to live this life.  Let’s attend our church every Sunday. Let’s give service and kindness and patience to our friends and neighbors.  Learn how to pray.  Prayers are answered!
• How about a return to some serious development of our gray matter. Turn off the tv- which is written for 8^th grade minds.  Let’s put down some of the technology we’re addicted to.  How about reading a book by Victor Hugo, or Mark Twain, or Jack London, or Ayn Rand.
  
• How about a visit to the mountains, or beach, or desert and enjoy some of God’s creations.

There really are ways that we can either be at war with our soul, or at peace.  It all depends on what we buy into.

 

Video Games for Christmas Gifts?

“Congratulations, level 1 is complete! You’ve received 100,000 points, plus a bonus of 10,000 points for your record time! Your new mission is to protect your village. Good luck.”

This statement and ones like it are being heard by children and teenagers all over the world, but what you may not realize as a parent is that in order to complete the next level, your child has to kill 100 virtual soldiers. We as future parents are concerned about this topic of video game content. Even if you are not a parent, it is important to be educated about the effects of violent video games because not only is it something you may have to deal with in the future with your own children, but it can also creep into your own life at any time. If you are able to prevent this virtual violence from entering into your home, you can save yourself and your children a lot of trouble and heartache in the future.

So, how is the content in video games affecting children and families? Many video games portray violence, fighting, and even murder. As children become more involved in these games, the fantasy leaves the virtual world and becomes reality. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that the content of video games negatively affects children, especially those gamers who play violent video games for many hours during the week. Out of a sample consisting of 364 3rd-, 4th-, and 5th-graders, the average amount of time per week playing video games was 16 to 18 hours. As a result, “habitual violent video game play early in the school year predicted later aggression”1 .

The impact that video games has on children is astounding. By playing these violent games, children become desensitized to what is real and what is in the video game. Punching, shooting, beating, and other forms of physical abuse and violence allow a gamer to advance to the next level. This is a reward for those children playing the game- killing one hundred people to move on to the next level. By doing so, children then confuse this viral world of video games with real life where there are consequences, both emotionally and physically, instead of points and rewards.

When comparing the effects of violent video games and violent TV programs, video games are often reported as having a more harmful effect on the “player”. Watching television is a passive interaction where the viewer can sit idly by and observe the violence taking place while a player in a video game is taking an active part in the violence. Because games are based on allowing one to identify with one player and control them, they often view themselves as the character and personally accept the approving praise after killing fellow players only to reinforce that violent behavior. “Some people think that you get your anger out in video games, but studies show that video games increase aggressive thoughts, angry feelings, physiological arousal, and aggressive behavior. Violent games also decrease helping behavior and feelings of empathy for others” 2.

All in, violent video games are desensitizing us and our children from the natural human emotions we were born with, and instead, replacing them with feelings of anger, aggression and neglect towards others. What would a society look like if everyone had this attitude? It would be complete chaos, a real-life video game except you don’t come back to life when killed.

Is there anything good about video games?

 Video games do have some positive aspects; hand-eye coordination being one. However, the content is what makes the negative outweigh the positive. If video games were to change their content to not be so violent, or make it less accessible to those who are not ready for such content, then maybe this epidemic of video games being harmful would end. However, that does not seem like an immediate option.

So, what can we do as parents to regulate what our children (and/or ourselves) view and participate in as far as video games are concerned? Here are some tips and helps provided by Dr. Phil:

1. Understand and utilize the Entertainment Software Ratings Board. Then read beyond the ratings- for example, the casing of the video game, talk to other parents or reviews online

2. Know your child and how he or she responds to different gaming situations

3. Rent before you buy

4. Play the game with your child so you understand the content

5. Talk about what you see and set limits

6. Put the TV and games in a public place 3

We need to take more of an active role, monitoring the content that comes through our television through video games. Exposure to violence through video games is damaging to the physical and emotional well-being of our children. This damage is both immediate and long lasting. Protect your family today from the media that comes into your home. Take a stance and act now to protect your future generation.

About the authors:

Hi! Our names are Tia, Hailey, Christi, and Hayley. We are currently students at Brigham Young University-Idaho. While none of us have any children yet we have a passion for protecting families. We want to spread the word on what people can do to protect their children and prevent harmful things from entering their homes while their children are young. We have personal experience with the negative effects of bad media and we want to spare families the heartache and trials that come with it. Help us let our voice be heard so we can help people protect their families today!

Young Adults Speak Out Against Pornography

Note from Editor:  This is another in our series of articles written by college-age students interested in pro-family policy.  United Families International is excited to have a new generation of pro-family advocates who are getting involved.

According to the Fight the New Drug Website (http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/Blog/) in 2006, pornographic search engine requests accounted for more than 25% of daily traffic on the Internet, and 8% of daily emails were pornographic in nature.  During that same time, women consumed 30% of the pornography, while roughly 90% of 8-16 year-olds viewed pornography online, and an estimated 80% of 15-17 year-olds had already had multiple experiences with hard-core pornography.  Is pornography really that prevalent?  We say yes.  Here are our personal experiences with how pornography has affected our lives and what we feel can be done to help fight it.

Shaliee, Parker, ID

Pornography has indirectly affected me in that I have seen the impact of it on the lives of boys that I grew up with.  Realizing that I had good guy friends who looked at pornography made me sad and disappointed and it always made me wonder what their reasoning’s were behind it.  It wasn’t until college that I learned how pornography affects a person’s brain, and how strong of an addiction it can become.  I didn’t realize that looking at pornography triggers a pleasure chemical in your brain, which can cause the chemical to be not as easily available when it is overused.  I also found out that because this pleasure chemical isn’t as easily available that it makes everyday life activities seem dull and unfulfilling (Hilton, 2012).

I watched these boys struggle in all aspects of their lives. As pornography became a bigger part of who they were and what they did; none of them could sustain healthy relationships with girls, had the desire to go to college, or tried to better themselves as people.  They incurred an attitude of “this is as good as I’m going to get, so I better accept it.” Yet at the same time, they kept high expectations for others, especially girls.  Watching these changes in the boys in high school was crazy and hard for me to comprehend. However now knowing the research behind pornography, it has made me realize that sadly they just fell into the flow of its addictive tide.

Dana, Jackson WY

We all need to be active and aware of the problems with pornography.  While the topic of pornography has never been discussed within my own family, I believe that it has been a persistent issue with many members of it. Growing up, our computer time was never monitored, and my parents never talked to us about the availability of pornography, or the harmful effects it can have.  This made my siblings and I feel embarrassed to bring up anything related to the topic.  Although pornography may be an uncomfortable subject to talk about it is vital that we teach our children why it shouldn’t be viewed.  I would rather try and talk to my children about viewing pornography, in hopes to prevent it rather than finding out that they learned about it through viewing it.

Jaime, Modesto, CA

Pornography is a slippery slope that is slowly catching men and women in a devastating trap.  This isn’t an easy trap to get out of.  It starts off with those who participate in pornography believing that they can hide it from everyone else.  They also believe the viewing of pornography doesn’t affect anyone else.  This belief is wrong!  Not only does it affect them mentally and physically (through the change in their appearance), it also affects those directly within their homes and families.

I am a living proof of what was said above.  Growing up with my brother and my father trapped in the addictiveness of pornography.  I have watched the harmful effects of pornography mentally take family members away from the family.  They constantly think about how they can fulfill their pleasure without people finding out.  Because my father was so caught up in fulfilling his addiction we never had the chance to build a strong father-daughter relationship.  This affected me greatly because I wanted SO BADLY to be daddy’s little girl.  The only thing I had with my father was soccer.  He coached my teams and I knew at a young age that if I wanted to spend time with him I would have to be passionately involved in this sport and make it the most important part of my life.  This was the only way I thought I could build a strong relationship with him.  I was a very hopeful child, and because of this I kept trying to ignite a flame to our relationship, but it just made things worse.  The positive benefits did not outweigh the effort I put into it.  There was only hurt feelings.

The light of hope diminished while approaching my adolescent years.  I gave up and didn’t try and because of this I disconnected myself from the family.  Due to my circumstance I’ve had a hard time in adulthood trusting others, especially men, which has now affected my dating relationships.  I have created some sort of a wall that blocks others from reaching my emotions.  I did this to prevent more pain from coming into my life, a defense mechanism. This has affected my ability to open up to others and build a deep relationship, where intense emotions are shared.

Another thing I struggle with is my worth and body image.  Because of the exposure at a young age my self-esteem was affected.  I didn’t take any drastic measure, such as anorexia, bulimia, etc. but mentally I have a hard time accepting the way God has created me.  Not only did it affect me but it also affected the rest of the family, especially my mother.

Having a spouse view other women or the next porn queen creates a sense of physical struggles.  My mother is a very pretty woman but because she couldn’t compete with 20 or 30 year old women (which most of the pictures are enhanced anyway) she has struggled with her body image.  I can remember my mother constantly pointing out her flaws in her body, and most of the time it wasn’t even true.   But because she couldn’t look like a still picture, her self-worth was lower than low.  I can remember waking up in the middle of the night and finding my mother crying in the dark living room laying in a fetal position on the couch.  Sometimes I didn’t know how to respond but I just wanted to comfort her to let her know that I loved her.

Conclusion

Pornography isn’t something to mess around with or to take lightly; it is a very serious thing and before you consider fulfilling your next porn fix just think.  Think about those you love, think about the pain and sorrow it can cause families and future families, think about the trap it has on your soul.  Please just think and turn away.

These examples show how pornography can have lasting negative effects on people who don’t view pornography, but who know others that do.  We can take preventative measures to protect our families by utilizing web protections and being active in each other’s media life.  If families work and help each other avoid pornography then as each family is strengthened the community will be stronger.  The horrible ripple effect of pornography can be reversed into a ripple effect of fortitude.

That’s Obscene!

 “That’s Obscene!”  It’s a phrase that’s tossed around regularly and depending on the context, can mean absolutely anything.  Have you ever wondered, however, whether or not there is a codified/legal definition of “obscenity” or is it simply “in the eye of the beholder?”  Turns out there is one – a legal definition that is – and it’s important that we have a clear understanding of this definition and the laws surrounding it so we can use them to protect our families.

What makes something qualify as being “obscene”?

According to a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court (Miller v. California), to be obscene a judge and/or jury must find:

1.  The average person, when applying contemporary community standards, would find that a work – taken as a whole – appeals to the prurient interest. (prurient:  Having or encouraging an excessive interest in sexual matters; having, inclined to have, or characterized by lascivious or lustful thoughts, desires, etc.)

AND

2.  The work depicts or describes in a patently offensive ways, (once again as measured by contemporary community standards) “hardcore” sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable law.

AND

3.  That a reasonable person would find that the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political and scientific value.

It’s not all that hard to identify most pornography as meeting the standard for being obscene – the primary problem with pornography is the lack of enforcement of the existing laws.   But what about that questionable book that your student is required to read for their English class?  What how about a theatrical presentation that pushes the boundaries?   Would “community standards” be different in Bismarck, North Dakota, than in New York City?

Determining the nature of “community standards” is one of the primary challenges of determining obscenity and then comes the challenge of enforcing the existing laws.

But there is much each individual can do:

1.  Know how obscenity laws work.

2.   Encourage officials to enforce and prosecute for violations.

3.  Be vigilant in your home, your schools, your community.

For more information on obscenity laws and how they can work for you, visit:

http://www.waronillegalpornography.com/what-are-the-laws-about-pornography/

This is an excellent compilation of the law.  Keep it on file for future reference.

Now We Have More Porn, Not less

Are children more protected from the devastation of porn that they were six months ago?  The answer is a resounding “no.” The advocates of the domain .XXX  sold the world a lie when, last year, they convinced ICANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) to provide to pornographers their own domain – right alongside domains like .com, .org or .net.

When the idea for creating the  .XXX domain was first discussed it was thought that pornographers would be required to solely use .XXX; thus allowing parents to more easily place filters to stop porn.  But ICANN announced early on that pornographers would be allowed to keep their .com or .net addresses.

Rather than providing an opportunity for parents to more easily keep porn and their children separated, the porn industry has been handed another “store front” from which to peddle their perversion.  No one should be surprised that the porn industry is back requesting from ICANN yet more domains; this time .Porn, .Sex and .Adult. 

You have a chance to give comment on this next attempt of the pornography industry to weaken families and society.  Our friends at Morality in Media have a detailed explanation of how you can take part in the “public comment” that is open until August 12.  Go here to see talking points and detailed instructions as to how you can participate.

This is your chance to speak out, your chance to never have to wonder if there were something more you could have done to stop the advancement of porn.  Go here and follow the instructions.

Below  is a video by Pat Trueman (Mortality in Media) where he explains the fallacies surrounding .XXX and the proposed porn domains.  Take a few moments and learn the facts.  Let ICANN know we have enough internet porn!

Looking for more information; see UFI’s past posts:

14 Shocking Pornography Statistics

Pornography Internet Domain given Final Approval

Tell ICANN:  “No .XXX Domain

.XXX Domain Likely to become a Reality

The Wonder of Family

Rachel Allison

This past weekend my three sisters and I assembled for some much needed emotional strengthening. Our conversations focused on the battles that our children and grandchildren are facing, and how we as women of faith could fortify and support them against the onslaught of all the harmful influences they are facing.

Our concerns range from pornography to misplaced priorities, and from apathy to dishonesty.  During one conversation my oldest sister reminded us of a scripture found in the New Testament.

“For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?” (I Cor. 14:8)

And we were reminded of just how important our example is to those who are struggling.  We cannot expect our children and grandchildren to stand strong if they see us being complacent. Our children/grandchildren should not wonder what our values are.  There should never be any doubt about whether we would choose honesty, reliability, loyalty, and integrity.  Our lives must be totally honorable. They have enough of the dishonorable thrown at them.  They see enough hypocrisy.

At the beginning of our weekend together, discouragement was palpable.  But four days together gave all of us the courage and strength to renew our efforts in our battle to help our children/grandchildren reach their potential.

I just love my sisters.  I love the fact that we are best friends.  I love knowing that they care about my children and grandchildren, and I care about theirs. I love the fact that they are good honorable women who have an inner strength that helps me to be strong. I love being able to laugh and cry with them. And I’m grateful for the confidence they foster within me that gives me the courage to battle the forces that can destroy those I love.

Is there any wonder why we should value and safeguard the  family? There are those who advocate the importance of protecting the endangered.  Of all things most endangered, it is certainly the strong and loving family that is worth protecting.

 

 

The Reality of War

Rachel Allison

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I ever heard my dad talk about his experiences during World War II, and then it was because we asked questions that helped him open up and talk about them.

He was just 18 when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. He and my future Mom heard the news on a beautiful Sunday afternoon as they were enjoying a drive together after church services. Like thousands of other young men, my dad dutifully enlisted, left all he knew and loved behind, and went to war.

During the first few years of the war, he and his companion sailors looked at the war much like they would a basketball or football game…cheering when they would torpedo and sink an enemy ship, or shoot down an enemy aircraft. He said it was like an exciting competition to them, and they were winning.

But as the war progressed, and the enemy became more desperate, the suicide planes became the greatest threat and fear to these young men battling for home and country.

My dad would describe how most of the sailors couldn’t see the incoming Kamikaze aircraft.  The only way they could detect how close they were to their battleship was by listening for the size of ammunition being fired.  The biggest shells being fired meant that the suicide pilot and plane were still quite a distance out. As each round of ammunition would become smaller and the machine gun fire more rapid, all would recognize that their ship was in imminent danger of being hit.  At this point my dad, as well as all other sailors not actively involved in taking down the enemy would take cover under the closest steel protection they could find.  My dad’s ship was hit several times by these desperate combatants, and many lives were lost as a result.

Numerous times I have expressed my gratitude for not ever having to personally experience the horrors of war.  But just recently I have been reminded, again, of the battles that are being waged all around me. As I listen to talk radio, watch the news stations, read newspapers and magazines, and discuss current happenings with family, friends and associates, I recognize that we are right in the middle of destructive force intended to destroy all that we hold dear. Unlike my dad, we can’t occasionally take cover. If we think that battles are won by ignoring the enemy we will be sadly disappointed to wake up one day and find friends and loved ones dying on the battlefield known as apathy and misguided priorities.

Are we so numbed by the enemies’ bombardment that we don’t recognize the imminent danger of what we are experiencing?  Yesterday my husband showed me the most recent Time magazine cover…I don’t care how good the article may or may not be, when the media sensationalizes to sell magazines, we should speak out. Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all about breastfeeding.  That said, the picture is inappropriate for the front cover of a national magazine.  Small battle?  Perhaps, but if nothing is said, what pictures will be sensationalized in the future?

Many of us remember the shock by a previous generation when Rhet Butler’s “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” was used on the big screen.  Where is the outrage today?  Is it a battle we have lost? Absolutely!

Abortion, same-sex marriage, pornography, broken families, child abuse, child neglect, drug abuse, lies, deceit, corruption…These are much bigger battles in the war being waged, and we are being bombarded on every front. Do we speak up, write letters, become involved, teach our children, and take a stand to do better? How are you and I fighting the battles?  This life is not a game.  Just like all the fatalities and evils of past wars, we are playing for keeps.  How many loved ones or even generations need to be destroyed before we recognize the battles, and take up the fight?