The Drug of Choice: Pornography

Charles Bower & Shyla Johnson

If we were to hear of a drug, one that would ruin our families and our communities, what would we do? Would we encourage our children to avoid it? Certainly. Would we make sure it never enters our homes? Of course. Suppose though that this drug could enter your home so covertly that you wouldn’t even realize its presence. That drug is here and it’s called the “new cocaine” by the Daily Mail. This “cocaine” isn’t injected or snorted through the nose, it’s viewed; this drug is pornography and it’s everywhere at every time.

Numerous men find themselves caught up in this addiction. To a Christian magazine, one woman writes her story of her relationship with her husband and the effects pornography had on her and their family.

“When I discovered that my beloved eternal companion had become ensnared by pornography, I experienced the intense pain a wife in such a situation suffers. It is a deep sense of soul sickness, betrayal, and spiritual agony. It feels like the very roots of a precious eternal marriage have been yanked out of the safety and protection of gospel ground and, exposed to all the elements, begin to wilt and die. There is a sense of panic. The safety and peace of the marriage relationship evaporate. Trust, respect, honor, love…—all are deeply injured.

“For some months I had known something was not right. My husband and I had always been close, and our marriage had been very happy. But now there was an emotional distance, a barrier of some kind between us….

“Within only a few weeks, my husband, sick with the flu, went to bed, leaving his computer on. As I started to shut it down, I suddenly felt I should check it. There was the pornography.

“In the midst of the flood of feelings that nearly overwhelmed me, I knew my discovery was an answer to my prayers. I don’t know how long I was on my knees or how long my cheeks were wet with tears, but as I poured out my heart to [God], the comfort made possible by the Atonement of our Savior began to fill my soul. My pain and fear were lifted. Spiritual insights flowed into my mind and heart. I saw that my husband and I and our eternal marriage were precious to [God], and I knew that He would help us.”

A Harmless Habit?

While pornography is more often sloughed off as harmless and a minor vice, there is no denying that it permeates society, especially the family. Simply put, it is addictive. Pornography causes tremendous biological and chemical reactions in the brain that it has similar effects as the powerful narcotics fought in the War on Drugs. The release of pleasurable chemicals in the brain rewires pornography users to desire more and more their release and the thrill it brings. Those users are not only men, but women too. An estimated one sixth of visitors to pornography sites on the internet are women, though men are more likely to visit pornographic websites.

Pornography is the disgusting scar on sexuality around the world. As men and women view pornography, they damage their emotional ties to their families. Pornography encourages secrecy and wrongly expressed sexuality. Sexuality is best displayed in a loving marriage where each partner can provide one another with satisfaction, but with pornography, users are encouraged to develop self-centered sexuality with pornography’s cohort: masturbation. This also leads to sexual frustration, violent sexual behavior, as well as an unrealistic perception of healthy sexual relations. Healthy sexuality is an expression of love and devotion, while pornography causes a degeneration of sexuality to the viewer’s enjoyment. It constantly tells us that it is right to treat other people as objects of desire for our gratification. Recent studies have found that after viewing online pornography, men report less interest in sex with their partners leading to a reduced relational satisfaction. If half of all marriages end in divorce, it would be right to consider the pervasiveness of pornography today and the reasons so many couples do not remain together.

Just as narcotics and other drugs exhibit side effects, so does pornography. As husbands, wives, and parents, we need to be vigilant in identifying these symptoms:

• Failure to control sexual behavior,
• Continuing to view pornography in spite of attempts to stop,
• Withdrawal or other emotional changes,

If we find a loved one using pornography, we must be sure to reach out with love. Numerous 12-step programs are available, as well as local support groups and addiction specialists. Because pornography is not yet classified as a medical addiction, specialists of sexual addiction in general may need to be consulted.

Legal implications surrounding pornography

Taken together, it is easy for us to ask: What are the legal implications surrounding pornography? We’re quite familiar that in the United States, viewers must be 18 to access adult content, though lewd images and videos can be found regardless. Child pornography has been illegal in most countries for some time thanks to the efforts coordinated by Interpol and the United States Department of Justice. However, most Western nations, i.e. United States, Canada, Mexico, and most European nations, declare pornography as legal. Many Asian, Middle Eastern, and North African nations declare pornography to be illegal or legal under restrictions.

In the United States specifically, printed, visual, and auditory materials must meet specific criteria to determine if it is obscene. Obscene materials are put to the “Miller test,” a three-pronged test developed from the 1973 Supreme Court case Miller v. California. To be considered obscene, an “average person applying community standards” would find the work arousing, the work would display or describe sexual acts, and lacks serious “literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.” Only when all three conditions are met is the work considered obscene.

Citizens of the United States and other nations employing similar measures need to understand that they have the power to remove such materials from their communities and homes. Legislation can be proposed by any citizen at any level of government that opposes pornography. Internet filters are easy to come by and many are free to download. While these are good measures to take, parents and couples should ensure their safety by clearly teaching children and each other the dangers of pornography.

The Marriage and Religion Research Institute tells us that our “main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate parental monitoring of Internet use.” Further, by reaching out with love to those affected by its grasp, we can help build up our homes, neighborhoods, and communities. Just as with any business, if there are no customers, pornographers and peddlers of lewd works will eventually go out of business. We can make that happen.

Shyla Johnson is a student at BYU-Idaho studying Child Development. She is interested in advocating for the family because she believes the family is worth fighting for. She has a wonderful family that has taught her values and skills that made her who she is today.

 

Charles Bower is a senior studying sociology and marriage and family studies at BYU-Idaho. Growing up with his sisters and brother, he grew to understand the importance of a unified family. He and his wife, Megan, have been married for 10 months.

 

 

 

A Crisis in our Culture

Maddie Gillel

During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a new cellular telephone equipped with a popular R&B ringtone.

While glancing over her patient chart, I happened to notice that her payer status was listed as “Medic…aid”! During my examination of her, the patient informed me that she smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and somehow still has money to buy pretzels and beer.

And, you and our Congress expect me to pay for this woman’s health care?

I contend that our nation’s “health care crisis” is not the result of a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. Rather, it is the result of a “crisis of culture”, a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on luxuries and vices while refusing to take care of one’s self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance.

It is a culture based on the irresponsible credo that “I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me”. Once you fix this “culture crisis” that rewards irresponsibility and dependency, you’ll be amazed at how quickly our nation’s health care difficulties will disappear.  (Dr: Anonymous – written to President  Obama)

The following is an email I received from my sister who lives in another state:

I subbed at an alternative school last week – it was awful.  Those kids are losers, they’re bad and proud of it.  I’m not subbing there ever again-  insubordinate, rude,  e.g.: 

• “I slapped a teacher, that’s why I’m here.”  
• “If my mom hits me over the head again with that d- – - shovel, I’m runnin’ away for good.”  
• “ I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a 37 year old woman”.    
• “My grandpa’s 75 and he still does drugs- that proves that drugs don’t kill.”

  Most of them are on probation. This other poor kid said his mom was in jail forever because she was busted with a ton of meth-  impounded their car – “that was a f—- good car” he said.  They say the ‘f’ word in there all the time.  I tell them “stop the language” and they say “sorry miss” and then they say it again.  They don’t even know they’re saying it.  I said “you guys need to be sitting in Sunday School and learning about God.”  

I know you’re probably weary of all the talk of culture crisis and even more weary of the actual culture, but I believe it’s imperative that we continue to address it.  It is especially important to find ways to turn it around.

You can see from the school teacher’s example, that a lot of this is generational.  Horrible attitudes and lifestyles of fathers and mothers passed on to their children: swearing, violence, drugs, bad marriages, casual sex, etc.  If we are guilty of any of these behaviors – STOP IT !

When I was a young mother, I had two or three favorite cusswords.  I would use when frustrated or when trying to drive home a point to children (I grew up with these cuss words – and more – in my environment.) Then I began to hear my children saying these words and it horrified me.  I began working to eradicate that bad habit.   My husband and I had tempers in those days and that is not a climate for children.  Children are afraid of a lot when they’re young, and a screaming mom and dad don’t help at all.

Now my children have children of their own – and guess what? – they have tempers and can cuss when the ‘right’ occasion arises.  As someone once wisely said: “too soon old, too late smart.”

Children are not reared in a vacuum.  They will learn attitudes and habits in their home that we as parents do not realize we have. I wish as a young mother, I had understood that.  I see much more clearly now (“too late smart”).

Next week, I will have some treasures to share with you on ways to deal with the pressures and trials of family life (and life in general) that have helped me tremendously.

 

Which Part of the Following Did you Buy/Are You Buying/Will You Buy?

Maddi Gillel

 “Lenin, and later Joseph Stalin, determined that in order to maintain control of the people it would be necessary to completely destroy the family and re-structure it. They passed a law that one could obtain a divorce simply by mailing or delivering a postcard to the local register without the necessity of even notifying the spouse being divorced. This state, along with the communist encouragement of sexual immorality during marriage, approval of abortion, and forcing women out of the home into the workforce, accomplished its purpose of destroying the Russian family.”  -Soviet expert Mikhail Heller

I graduated from high school and attended college during the 60’s.  High school was alright, but when I went to college, many of the attitudes of the 60’s were being adopted, and in one particular class, the teacher was buying it all and spreading it to us.  I was ridiculed one day in class for my religious activities – by the teacher, and followed up by a few of the students.  I did not like the 60’s.  I didn’t agree with anything that was going on.

You might have guessed that I am reading a book called “The Marketing of Evil” by David Kupelian.  It is excellent.  He states that there were some far-reaching happenings in the 60’s that began the downward spiral of the family in our culture:

1-    Governor Reagan signed the no-fault divorce law (which he later regretted). This traveled like wildfire to all 50 states within a few years.

2-    Kennedy’s assassination – a national shock which signaled the end of American’s innocence.

3-    The Vietnam War – This war was ideologically waged for a noble cause: to help the Vietnamese fight the communists who were invading their country, but the war was executed disastrously by incompetent leaders, so it became controversial and divided our nation.

4-    Rock music invasion from England (Beatles, Rolling Stones) exerted a powerful hold on America’s youth and soon introduced the psychedelic drug culture.

5-    Widespread confusion among America’s churches and churchgoers over God.  “IS GOD DEAD?” became THE question of the time. This caused anxiety and uncertainty which caused a vacuum into which all kinds of alien philosophies and beliefs flooded: occultism, paganism, channeling, and New Age practices of every conceivable sort.  This also opened up a torrent of “liberation” movements:  sexual, women’s, and gays.

There were other factors that helped roll this revolution along, but you get the idea.

I was too young to realize all this was happening, but I knew that our culture was becoming more and more unsettled and angry.  As I said before, I was sometimes alone in my beliefs and activities if they were contrary to the new belief system invading our world.  I didn’t like any of it.  I didn’t buy into any of it.

Where do we go from here?

• How about a serious return to family?– champion the family, defend it, make sure our family is as strong and healthy as possible.
• How about a return to religion? Let’s see what the scriptures say about how to live this life.  Let’s attend our church every Sunday. Let’s give service and kindness and patience to our friends and neighbors.  Learn how to pray.  Prayers are answered!
• How about a return to some serious development of our gray matter. Turn off the tv- which is written for 8^th grade minds.  Let’s put down some of the technology we’re addicted to.  How about reading a book by Victor Hugo, or Mark Twain, or Jack London, or Ayn Rand.
  
• How about a visit to the mountains, or beach, or desert and enjoy some of God’s creations.

There really are ways that we can either be at war with our soul, or at peace.  It all depends on what we buy into.

 

Modern-day Russian Roulette

Rachel Allison

At birth, Hydeia Broadbent was abandoned at the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas where Patricia and Loren Broadbent adopted her as an infant. Although her HIV condition was congenital, she was not diagnosed as HIV-positive with advancement to AIDS until age three. The prognosis was that she would not live past the age of five. Now more than 20 years later, Broadbent spends her time spreading the message of HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention by promoting abstinence and safe-sex practices (for people who choose to have sex

As an early recipient of anti-viral treatments that made AIDS a livable disease, she could have used her platform to emphasize the positives of HIV when coupled with modern medicine.  She could have chosen to give HIV/AIDS patients hope and the promise of beating the odds.

Not Hydeia.  She doesn’t sugar coat the consequences of the disease even when drugs promise a long and somewhat productive life. “There are days when I can’t get out of bed.  Sometimes I am so sick my mornings are spent with my head hung over the toilet.”

Every morning she takes her cocktail of five pills. Hydeia’s medicine costs $3,500 to $5,000 a month.

“There’s so much misinformation.  People think there’s a cure…but there is no cure.”  A positive test result is no longer a death sentence, says Hydeia, “but it is a life sentence.”

“It’s always there.  You’re always going to have HIV or AIDS.  You’re always going to be taking medicine.  You’re always going to be going to the doctor’s office.  You’re always going to be getting your blood drawn.”

Tell that to the millions who can’t fathom contracting HIV/AIDS (or any other STD for that matter.) “Hooking Up” is as common in today’s loose society as chopping wood was for my grandparent’s.

Legislators are outlawing anything and everything so that our society is safe.  The food we eat has to pass strict inspection.  The vehicles we drive, the toys our children play with, the fabric used to make our children’s clothing, roadways, walkways, speed limits…We have legislation in place to protect and defend just about everything.

And yet there are tens of thousands across the globe being exposed to a disease that is more threatening and costly than society will openly and publicly admit. Where is the outcry? The target audience seems to be oblivious to the “Russian Roulette” they are playing.

We need more Hydeia Broadbents educating and laying out the cold hard facts about a disease that can and should be contained and eradicated…Not with condoms.  Condoms have proven to be bogus protection. It can only be eradicated with a value system that teaches self-control and even self-denial…something almost unheard of in today’s society.

Despite the harsh realities of HIV/AIDS and the supposed public awareness, the National Center for Health Statistics, show that in the United States, “for all races combined in the age group 15-24 years, HIV/AIDS moved from the 12^th leading cause of death in 2009 to the 11^th cause of death in 2010.” It was the 7^th leading cause of death in 2010 for the age group 25-44 years.”   Where is the outcry? This is the elephant in the room that is destroying lives, and yet the target audience seems  oblivious to the destruction.  They continue to play with a fire that doesn’t just burn, it consumes.  Would it be taboo to legislate activity so intimate?  Apparently so.

Parents and grandparents, and the Hydeia Broadbents of the world, it is up to us to educate and raise the warning voice that will save lives in this promiscuous society where “if it feels good…” is accepted without thought of consequence or outcome.

The Reality of War

Rachel Allison

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I ever heard my dad talk about his experiences during World War II, and then it was because we asked questions that helped him open up and talk about them.

He was just 18 when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. He and my future Mom heard the news on a beautiful Sunday afternoon as they were enjoying a drive together after church services. Like thousands of other young men, my dad dutifully enlisted, left all he knew and loved behind, and went to war.

During the first few years of the war, he and his companion sailors looked at the war much like they would a basketball or football game…cheering when they would torpedo and sink an enemy ship, or shoot down an enemy aircraft. He said it was like an exciting competition to them, and they were winning.

But as the war progressed, and the enemy became more desperate, the suicide planes became the greatest threat and fear to these young men battling for home and country.

My dad would describe how most of the sailors couldn’t see the incoming Kamikaze aircraft.  The only way they could detect how close they were to their battleship was by listening for the size of ammunition being fired.  The biggest shells being fired meant that the suicide pilot and plane were still quite a distance out. As each round of ammunition would become smaller and the machine gun fire more rapid, all would recognize that their ship was in imminent danger of being hit.  At this point my dad, as well as all other sailors not actively involved in taking down the enemy would take cover under the closest steel protection they could find.  My dad’s ship was hit several times by these desperate combatants, and many lives were lost as a result.

Numerous times I have expressed my gratitude for not ever having to personally experience the horrors of war.  But just recently I have been reminded, again, of the battles that are being waged all around me. As I listen to talk radio, watch the news stations, read newspapers and magazines, and discuss current happenings with family, friends and associates, I recognize that we are right in the middle of destructive force intended to destroy all that we hold dear. Unlike my dad, we can’t occasionally take cover. If we think that battles are won by ignoring the enemy we will be sadly disappointed to wake up one day and find friends and loved ones dying on the battlefield known as apathy and misguided priorities.

Are we so numbed by the enemies’ bombardment that we don’t recognize the imminent danger of what we are experiencing?  Yesterday my husband showed me the most recent Time magazine cover…I don’t care how good the article may or may not be, when the media sensationalizes to sell magazines, we should speak out. Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all about breastfeeding.  That said, the picture is inappropriate for the front cover of a national magazine.  Small battle?  Perhaps, but if nothing is said, what pictures will be sensationalized in the future?

Many of us remember the shock by a previous generation when Rhet Butler’s “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” was used on the big screen.  Where is the outrage today?  Is it a battle we have lost? Absolutely!

Abortion, same-sex marriage, pornography, broken families, child abuse, child neglect, drug abuse, lies, deceit, corruption…These are much bigger battles in the war being waged, and we are being bombarded on every front. Do we speak up, write letters, become involved, teach our children, and take a stand to do better? How are you and I fighting the battles?  This life is not a game.  Just like all the fatalities and evils of past wars, we are playing for keeps.  How many loved ones or even generations need to be destroyed before we recognize the battles, and take up the fight?

 

“Words that Imprison”

Rachel Allison

Sociology 101 taught me about the term “looking-glass self.” What others think of me, how people speak to me, how those around me react to me, basically determines what I think of myself.”  There are those strong individuals that can and have broken out of that mirrored reflection…but unfortunately, that climb can be a difficult and grueling experience.

I don’t always agree with the strong women blog, but one article that caught my attention, “I am my Beliefs” by Isadora Dahlen, says just what I have been advocating for years. As Ms Dahlen points out, “When a little girl develops into a woman, she believes everything she was taught about herself as a child.  Positive messages go a long way, but negative ones go further and deeper.”

Is it any different for a little boy? I would say “absolutely not.”

Ms Dahlen volunteers her time and creative writing expertise at the Perryville Prison in Phoenix, AZ where young women are incarcerated for years of their most productive lives.  I have been to Perryville when my husband was asked to be a guest speaker. These beautiful women all clad in orange, were just like any other women I have seen at the mall, or at school, or even church.  They are women who made mistakes, but each one of them still longs for a good, fulfilling, and meaningful life.

These women had every possibility for such a life until as Ms Dahlen points out in her article, too often they heard words from their mothers or fathers that little by little tore away the dreams of their childhood.  “Nobody wants you.” “You’re useless.” “Nobody is gonna want to marry you.” “Being a drug addict is ok.” “Your mother hates you.”

I can’t imagine a child being exposed to such damaging language, let alone hearing it from a parent!  If a child is told, “You’re greedy, selfish, ugly, stupid, heartless, a liar, too loud, an idiot, a whore, a loser” sooner or later the child believes what he/she is told.

Other women are imprisoned, but not behind bars because of such verbal and emotional abuse.  The article of the same name was also written by Ms Dahlen, and it too is worth reading.

We as parents play such a critical roll in shaping and molding our children’s attitudes of self worth.  They not only deserve loving words of encouragement, as one friend of mine said, “I needed them like I needed air to breathe.” How many hours a day are spent providing food, clothing, and shelter?  Let’s not forget the hidden needs that have more of an impact in shaping who our children become, and what heights they can achieve.

 

 

The Summer Soldier and the Sunshine Patriot

Rachel Allison

Do you remember the term “sunshine soldier and summer patriot?”

The term was found in Thomas Paine’s series of pamphlets published  during the American Revolution.  He wrote them because the colonists needed hope…they needed inspiration.  For any of you who have read the Pulitzer prize winning“1776” by David McCullough you will understand more fully the dire situation the colonists were facing.

“These are the times that try men’s souls” wrote Paine. “The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”

Mr. Paine was describing those men, who, when the snow started falling, and a bad situation became harsh, left their ranks to return to their hearths, leaving the battles for others to wage.

This morning the thought, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times” (“A Tale of Two Cities” by Dickens) has come to my mind repeatedly.

I am so grateful for a warm home, food, grocery stores within walking distance, clean running water at the turn of a handle, a reliable car, modern technology that allows me to have world news and instant access to communication. What comfort and convenience! It is the best of times! It would be easy to relax on a couch with a good book and ignore the world around me.

And yet…we read and see another reality portrayed as the headlines inform us of …”murders,” “desertion,” “abortion promoted,” “same-sex marriage legalized,” “child abuse rampant,” “fraud discovered,” “lies uncovered,” “pornography,” “rape,” “drug addiction”…and we see that these can also be considered “the worst of times.”

I believe that 2012 for us is as critical as our Founding Father’s 1776. And Paine’s words ring in our ears, “These are the times that try men’s souls.” His pamphlets clarified the issues at stake in the war being waged.

We at United Families, are doing our “darnedest” to clarify the battles being fought in our society. Future generations will look at us…you and me, as having been “winter warriors” or “sunshine soldiers.” Just like the men and women of 1776, who, during MANY of the battles, saw no way out…we also, at times, see “no way to win.”  And yet we are winning.  We are given hope when we read that more and more of the rising generation see abortion for what it is…the killing of unborn babies. It has been a battle that started before the Supreme Court heard Roe vs. Wade in 1973.  A long battle, and it’s not over, but the pro-life contingent is expanding.

How long will it take for society to recognize the absolute importance and truth that marriage is between a man and a woman? Thirty years?  Hopefully if the “winter warriors,” you and I, get involved in the battle we can shorten the war.  It may be fierce, but in Paine’s words:

“Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”

Paine’s writings helped the colonists understand that the British were trying to assume powers that only God should have. Paine saw the British political and military maneuvers in America as “impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.”

Are there those today who can be compared with the British Empire of that day?  Some rights and powers belong to God alone.  Two of those powers are the giving and taking of life.  Who are we to assume we know better than God?

Paine states “that God Almighty will not give up a people to military destruction, or leave them unsupported to perish, who have so earnestly and so repeatedly sought to avoid the calamities of war, by every decent method which wisdom could invent”.

Should we not be so worthy of God’s alliance? Obviously, we need to be more involved than just “wishing and hoping.” Every “decent method which wisdom could invent” needs to be in play. Think! Act! Write! Speak up! Get involved!

“The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.” And may I add generations to come?

Tough Love: Creating Responsible Adults in an Entitlement World

by Rachel Allison

Several years ago my nephew got into drugs, and as a result became defiant and almost impossible to live with.  My sister introduced me to a term I had never heard before…’Tough Love.”  Out of desperation, she and her husband started studying anything and everything they could find on how to help their wayward child. They discovered the “Tough Love” approach. The movement, “Tough Love” began back in the 1980’s.  David and Phyllis York developed a set of strategies to deal with their out-of-control teenage daughter and tough-love parenting was born.

In a nutshell, their mantra became, “stop enabling your child.”  When your teen does something wrong, don’t stand in the way of his consequences.  Some parents enable their teen by making excuses for the bad behavior.  “Well, his girlfriend just broke up with him.” Or “He doesn’t feel like anyone at school likes him.” What children need to understand is that there is a consequence to their actions. And the sooner our children suffer the consequences of their actions the sooner they will choose to continue or discontinue their actions.

One of the most popular boys in our high school was a crazy and out of control macho egotist.  (I say that now, but as a teenager I thought he was  daring, exciting and self confident. How mature was I!?!)  I well remember the Sunday afternoon when this young man was speeding down a mountain pass near town.  He took a turn way too fast and ended up driving a car off the road and into a gully.  Several people were hospitalized.  The young man who caused the accident showed little remorse.  His father was devastated.  Before days end all four tires were off his son’s car, and the car was not to be driven for months.   I was surprised, however, to see him driving his car within a week!  We all soon learned that the mother of this young man was the one who insisted that his car be returned to working order.  The arguments that must have taken place in that family!  That was just one of the many stories I could relate and how he always got out of a sticky predicament Scott free.  When this young teenage boy grew into an adult he continued to act like a spoiled teenager who expected the world to cater to his needs and desires.

Are we really doing our children any favors when we smooth over their mistakes?  I always said, “I would rather my children experience the consequences of their actions while they are still in our home.   Then I can be there to council, guide, and love them through those difficult learning opportunities.

Tough Love also includes being respectful of our teenagers, but letting them know that we expect the same in return. As long as they are living under our roof, we need to let them know that we will do everything in our power to prevent them from engaging in behaviors that jeopardize the well-being of the family.

As I have written before, “parenting is not for the faint hearted.”  We must stand strong. If our teenagers are in danger of destroying their lives, sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to be firm.  Being tough doesn’t have to mean being cruel.  Cruelty is also taking no action in the face of our teenager’s impending self-destruction.  Although it quite possibly could have been our inaction that helped create our teen’s sense of entitlement or open rebellion in the first place, we have a chance to help him turn things around.  Doing this in a way that shows we mean business, but also lets them know that loving someone means getting them to take responsibility for their lives.

“Slavery is Very Much Alive Today”

Each year more than 100,000 children are being sold for sex on the street corner, through escort services, and over the internet…and that’s just in the United States.  Sex trafficking is an international plague that has received scant attention.  Thousands of sexually exploited children in the U.S. are unable, even after being freed from their pimps; to have their basic needs met.  Today you have an opportunity to do something about it by participating in the “National (Call-in) Day of Action.”

The National Coalition to End Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking is asking individuals to help in the passage of the Domestic Minor Sex trafficking and Victims Support Act (H.R. 5575) which will provide grants to states to train social service agencies and law enforcement in reporting and investigation of trafficking incidents.  The bill will also provide much needed services and shelter to those who have been victims.

We direct you to Polaris Project’s website and urge you to go here to  follow the steps outlined to participate in this call to action.  Even if you can’t participate today, please do make a call or send contact your representative this week.  The victims of trafficking need you.

Trafficking is an issue that UFI deals with regularly at the UN.  It is a “family issue” and it does impact you, your family, and your community.  Go here to see a short video on one young girl’s life as a trafficking victim.

Messed up Minds, Lives and Families

“Marijuana us the number one addiction for 65 percent of all teens in drug rehab.  It is the gateway drug to cocaine and meth.  Marijuana harms lungs faster than smoking cigarettes.”  These are just a few of the statistics that have been highlighted in the effort to stop the legalization of marijuana.  The states of California, Arizona and South Dakota all have marijuana initiatives on their ballots to be decided on November 2.

A campaign ad/youtube video produced by Save California Families explains the harms of marijuana and the risks in its legalization.  Although United Families International does not deal directly with drug policy, the policy implications and the negative effect of marijuana on families brings us to a place where we feel we want to share this information.

After watching the video, please go to MarijuanaHarmsFamilies.com where you can access the video documentation containing research sources to support the points made in the video.