The next time you think that everyone else sees the world as you do, remember the following.
The next time you think that everyone else sees the world as you do, remember the following.
In a review of many scholarly journals studying negative effects on youth, sexual promiscuity and early sexual activity, are listed as a risk factor along with drug use, delinquent behavior, and violence. However, society is now changing its standards, and is actually encouraging what once was considered (and still is) a risk factor. The encouragement of promiscuity and experimentation along with “sexual rights” are desensitizing our society to sex, and the consequences are great.
Promiscuous behaviors and beliefs are not only risk factors in themselves, they are also a catalyst for a variety of negative consequences. Widely known is their potential for causing pregnancy and STD’s. Other less known consequences are confusion and the destruction they cause to relationships.
During sexual intimacy powerful chemicals are released in the brain. One of these chemicals is oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin plays a role in adult bonding and is released during sex. It creates a powerful bond between the two people. This bond is good in a long term committed relationship where it unites a couple. However when couples engage in casual sex this bond leads to confusion and heartache; couples may verbally deny any attachment but cannot change the bonding taking place in the brain.
Dr. Van Epp’s RAM model is used to show the healthy progression of a relationship. In this model couples move through five different stages: know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. Each level moves up as the relationship progresses, but to remain healthy the previous level must be higher than the proceeding one. Touch is the last of these stages because it solidifies what a couple already has established. It is an expression of all they have gone through. Since sexual relations are the ultimate touch it needs to follow after the ultimate commitment of marriage.
Sexual intimacy has also been described as a funnel. Individuals enter in and experience a narrowing of mind and focus. When this takes place in a healthy marriage, it leads to bonding and fulfillment. However when this funnel is entered into alone it leads to isolation, confusion, and guilt. The same process, when entered into in a healthy versus unhealthy relationship, has dramatic consequences, yet society is teaching that sex is good, regardless of the circumstances or outcomes.
This devaluation of sexual intimacy is also affecting marriages. Premarital sex increases the likelihood of infidelity in a marriage. In a premarital relationship individuals are laying the ground work for patterns that will continue throughout their marriage. If there is a lack of sexual self-control before marriage, the likelihood of sexual self control within marriage also decreases. The rate of divorce is also higher for those who have sexual relations before marriage. One study found “women who lost their virginity before 18 doubled their risk of divorce, as nearly 31 percent and 47 percent dissolved their marital unions within five and ten years, respectively.”
Sexual intimacy is a uniting act. It unites people in the ultimate way; no other act can do this. “It is the union of their whole selves—heart, mind, flesh, spirit.” But what we are teaching our children is to disconnect this act from others, and focus solely on personal gratification. If we cannot connect the most uniting form of human expression with another person, how is it that we are able to interact and connect with others on a day to day basis? We won’t be able to. We will start to view every interaction in terms of our wants and desires, regardless of others, and view our urges as uncontrollable things we have no choice but to give into. As this happens we give up our power to make decisions.
Given the confusion and destruction of relationships that comes as we devalue sex, it is easy to see why sexual active teens are more likely to suffer from depression and attempt suicide. This new standard of morality is destroying relationships leading to isolation that then spills over into other aspects of our lives making us even more selfish, isolated, and alone.
by Diane Robertson
As the many marriage cases move through the court system supporters of marriage often find themselves in conversations in which they must defend their stance on marriage and family. This can be a very stressful conversation. Even the best and smartest debaters risk losing friends, isolating family members, or becoming victim to harsh words. Here are some ways that may be helpful while having the conversations and hopefully staying on the good side of family and friends.
“One friend demanded to know why I wasn’t sleeping around. I responded with a question: ‘How many of the people that you were with do you wish you hadn’t hooked up with?’ After a pause, the thoughtful response: ‘Most of them, I guess. Maybe even all of them.’”
This man replied:
“Diane that whole article can be summed up in the conclusion: ‘if we are correct about the likely harms of redefining marriage,’ That’s a big if don’t you think? So what your saying is we should round up all families that are not Father, Child, Mother because they are bad for society?
So is it better to have a father who beats his kids or molests them than to send him away to jail and not have one present at all? If two parents are killed in a car accident and the kids are taken in by an Aunt who is single then that too is destroying the fabric of society?”
Here is how I replied to his nonsense:
“You are using smokescreen arguments to avoid the real points. Obviously most people are better off without an abuser and there are laws to protect victims of abuse as you well know.
Here are some honest arguments addressing your smokescreen.
Statistics of the Fatherless
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Health/Census).
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control).
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26).
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report).
70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988).
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction).
71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999)”
Principle- a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption-a rule or code of conduct-a habitual devotion to right principles—a distinguishable ingredient that exhibits or imparts a characteristic quality.
Virtue-strength-conformity to a standard of right-moral excellence-beneficial quality or power-strength/courage- a capacity to ayt – chastity especially in a woman.
Value – degree of excellence – intrinsically valuable or desirable.
Principles and values are essential in our lives if we want to be happy, contributing, peaceful, integral components of our families, homes, neighborhoods, workplace, and culture. Over the next few months, we will address some values and principles which are critical in the above areas of our lives.
HONESTY is a good principle to start with. It means free from deception; truthful; genuine, respectable, sincere; trustworthy; honorable; having a good name.
“Let honesty and industry be thy constant companions, and spend one penny less than thy clear gains; then shall thy pocket begin to thrive; creditors will not insult; nor want oppress, nor hungerness bite, nor nakedness freeze thee.”
“Make yourself an honesty man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.”
Were the whole world good as you – not an atom better-
Were it just as pure and true,
Just as pure and true as you;
Just as strong in faith and works;
Just as free from crafty quirks;
All extortion, all deceit;
Schemes its neighbors to defeat;
If the whole world followed you – followed to the letter –
Would it be a nobler world?
All deceit and falsehood hurled
From it altogether;
Malice, selfishness, and lust,
Banished from beneath the crust,
Covering human hearts from view –
Tell me, if it followed you,
Would the world be better? Anonymous
“The time has come to cease emphasizing the gadgets of everyday living and to set over against them the imperishable qualities of honesty, integrity, unselfishness, and respect for law.”
“In our quest for knowledge, there is no room for cheating, for dishonesty, or that which would degrade us or cause the loss of our precious self-respect. In decision making we ask not, “What will others think?”, but “What will I think of myself?” Anonymous
In 2013 California made it legally possible for children to have more than two parents. More states will surely follow suit. The diversity-in-family-structure-loving-liberals think this is enlightened. They’re working hard to bring society out of the dark ages of Married mother and father families into the “Brave New World” of many parents.
Except this idea isn’t so brave and isn’t so new. Some children have already had a similar experience through divorce and they are speaking out. The Ruth Institute is collecting stories from children of divorce. As it turns out divorced couples, remarried couples, step families, broken families, and shared custody don’t actually feel so enlightened to the children who grew up in these situations.
One such personal story, told by Jennifer Johnson, illustrates what it actually feels like growing up with 5 parents. Johnson’s parents divorced when she was about three. Her mother remarried once and her father remarried twice. Johnson explains what her life was like growing up with five parents:
“it means going back and forth between all those households on a regular basis, never having a single place to call home during your most tender and vulnerable years. It means having divided Christmases, other holidays, and birthdays–you spend one with one parent, and another with the other parent, never spending a single holiday or birthday with both parents. Imagine having each of your parents completely ignore the other half of you, the other half of your family, as if it did not even exist. Meanwhile, imagine each parent pouring their energy into their new families and creating a unified home for their new children. These experiences give you the definite impression of being something leftover, something not quite part of them. You live like that on a daily basis for 18+ years.”
So why would so many adults push for this type of family brokenness and even make it possible for many adults to have legal control over a child? It’s called selfishness. Adults want this so they can have children and have sex with whoever they please and at whatever stage of life they wish. They want this sort of life legal so their partner can make medical and educational decisions for their children. They want convenience for themselves, but not their children.
Johnson writes about a woman, Masha Gessen, a prominent LGBT activist, who grew up with a married mother and father and speaks frankly about how her children have 5 parents. Gessen bemoans the fact that there, as yet, isn’t a way for her children to have all of their parents legally:
“I have three kids who have five parents, more or less, and I don’t see why they shouldn’t have five parents legally… I would like to live in a legal system that is capable of reflecting that reality, and I don’t think that’s compatible with the institution of marriage.”
Johnson’s replies to Gessen simply calling out the truth of the matter:
“If what I had is so great, then why don’t they want it as children? Here’s my conclusion: they want it as adults but not as children. They want the benefits of the socially conservative family structure when they are children. But as adults, they want sexual freedom, or at least they want to appear ‘open minded’ and ‘tolerant’ about others sexual choices, even at the expense of children, even though they themselves would never want to live under what they advocate. It’s a bizarre sort of a ‘win-win’ for them, I guess.”
Children don’t need more than two legal parents. Society doesn’t need diversity in family structure. All children and all of society needs responsible adults who marry before having children, work daily on a loving relationship and together raise their children in stable, happy homes. It can be done and would be the source of a truly “enlightened” society!
For the past 12 years Gallup has been conducting a poll on moral acceptability in America. Gallup published the 2014 results on May 30th. This year’s findings are a disturbing indication of the break down in the general morality of the American public.
Contraceptives are largely accepted as moral by nearly all Americans. Additionally between 60% and 70% of Americans now believe pre-marital sex, divorce, homosexual relationships, stem cell research, and gambling are morally acceptable.
The majority of Americans still find pornography, teenage sex, polygamy, and extra marital affairs as unacceptable. Yet the percentage of people who believe these things to be morally right is on the rise.
One bizarre finding is the difference in general acceptability between suicide and assisted suicide. Only 19% of Americans find suicide to be morally acceptable while 52% of Americans believe assisted suicide is moral.
Abortion and Assisted-suicide are the most contested categories. 42 % of Americans believe that abortion is morally acceptable and a stunning 52% of Americans believe that euthanasia is acceptable. Although, the numbers indicate that Americans lean pro-life, the percentage of people who say abortion is acceptable is at an all-time high and rising, according to the pollsters. Only 43% of Americans opposed assisted-suicide.
From the bullying and thuggery of the “gay-mafia” to the immoral indoctrination of comprehensive sexual education pushed in the public schools to the explicit sex, abuse and violence portrayed in popular movies and music, these results are not all that surprising. The alarming number of children born into single parent homes and the high divorce rate also continue to add this moral decline in America.
This decline can still be reversed. As parents, strong moral and religious couples who honor marital vows with full fidelity have the greatest power and influence over their children. If they do not allow statistics and popular opinion to sway their beliefs and if they teach strong moral values to their children they are the ones that will save society. Indeed the family unit of mother and father and children is the basic unit of society. When families are moral, society is moral.
There are many people out there that want to help with the fight against radical feminism, the sexualizing of children, and the destruction of religious freedom but do not know what to do. They do not even know where to begin. If you are that person, you are not alone. Be assured, this fight needs every willing person. You can find your place.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Currently United Families and other great organizations and people are working on ways to bring more like-minded people together to help in the fight for the family and religious freedom. As more resources become available, we will be sure to let you know what you can do. Everyone is needed.
The Commission on the Status of Women (CWS) is a functional commission of the United Nations Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC). Each year delegates from 45 countries meet at the U.N. headquarters in NY to formulate concrete policies on women worldwide.
Volunteers from United Families International just spent the past week in NYC presenting and assisting delegates in formulating the wording in certain “outcome documents”. The language found in these outcome documents gets used everywhere and becomes known as ‘customary international law’. The phrases in the outcome documents have tremendous influence worldwide. United Families is there to help assure that the critical wording in these documents is family friendly. This is clearly a tough job. While the stated purpose of the conference, based on 8millenial goals (MDG’s), are eradicating extreme poverty and hunger, achieve a universal primary education, promote gender equality and empower women, reduce child mortality rates, improve maternal health, combat disease like HIV/AIDS and malaria, ensure environmental sustainability, and develop global partnerships, there are many NGO’s that use these goals to push comprehensive sexual education and sexual rights for children.
Carolina-Kawika Allen attended CSW with other UFI volunteers. She states:
“Certain NGOs have more sway and power at the UN. Many are using this power to create temporary fixes with long term devastation and oppression. Let me explain… While here at this conference it is clear to see how the solutions posed by very influential NGOs, promoting terms like, ‘reproductive health care for women and girls’, ‘child sexual rights’, ‘comprehensive sexual education’, etc. are in reality something else entirely.
Take for example the Goliath-NGO, International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), with its most recent campaign ‘Exclaim’ for ‘child sexual rights’. Here you find that, and I quote, ‘Young people must be able to explore, experience and express their sexuality. They are entitled to do this in positive, pleasurable and safe ways. To secure young people’s sexual rights we must understand how human rights apply to young people’s sexuality’. Note that they are linking human rights directly with sexual rights, a legal move that is intended to codify sexuality in children, with the intent to eventually become legally binding. This campaign never even specifies how young, and in several places the word ‘child’ is actually used.”
As side event on human sex trafficking of children occurred, language that would have children as young as 5 taught masturbation, children as young as 13 introduced to pornography in the name of “sexual health”, and abortion services provided for every young woman by the age of 15 was being debated. Carolina exclaimed, “I sat in my chair fuming at the idea that the very language being included in these outcome documents were essentially ‘grooming’ children as a sexual predator would groom his victim.”
The term “Family” has become the most controversial word at the U.N. Countries that still believe that strong families are the solution to the MDG goals such as eradicating poverty, and hunger, educating children and stopping the spread of diseases are few and weak. They are mainly African, Polynesian, and Middle Eastern nations. The delegates from these countries are under extreme pressure to give way to the sexual rights agenda of the powerful NGO’s. They need the help of the few family friendly groups such as United Families International to stand strong in favor of the family.
Carolina concludes by calling upon the good strong women of the world to help fight the sexual right’s agenda in order to secure the safety of the child/parent relationship and the safety of children around the world. She declares:
“What I have found is the TREMENDOUS need for women, faithful, family centered, child-protecting, women–women like you and me who aren’t ashamed to claim and fight for their families–women who proudly claim their faith—strong and mighty women, who will fight for their children and the world’s children.”
If there is anyone living on this planet that isn’t aware of the chaos, confusion and even madness that is encroaching nearer and nearer to our homes and families, I would love to know where they are living and how they are keeping it all at bay.
Where is the wholesome value-based environment that I grew up in? It’s certainly not in the commercials being aired on morning television. This morning a benign ad for weight loss touted, “And the sex life is great!” Really? The first thing I thought was, ‘innocent children all over the United States just got a dose of sexual indoctrination.’ Hearing and seeing it repeatedly just might program our children to believe that life is all about sex and self-gratification. Great values! That’s just what I want my children and grandchildren to think about every time they are self-disciplined enough to pass on that second donut…’the sex will be great!’
I know many young mothers who wisely won’t allow television programs and their often unforeseen and degenerate commercials to be turned on in their homes. Instead, they choose wholesome movies to entertain and teach values that are uplifting and positive. Problem solved? Not if your children attend a progressive public school.
Our openly gay, former member of NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) and President Obama’s appointed “Safe-School Czar,” Kevin Jennings, has an agenda…And it’s not reading, writing and ‘rithmetic. He is making sure that sexual indoctrination is taking place away from parent’s attentive supervision…in our schools! Our children aren’t just being taught about the ‘birds and the bees.’ They are being taught about expressions of “love” and affection toward the same-gender, and as early as 1st grade! (See my post 1-9-14) If you are “open-minded” enough to agree with that agenda, you may want to educate yourself to the consequences of such confusing indoctrination.
Fast forward a few years…Studies show that teens of a homosexual orientation are more prone to commit suicide. Many in the gay world would have us believe that it is solely a result of harassment. Dr. Gary Remafedi of the University of Minnesota, suggests a different reason. He has discovered that there is an inherent danger in children self-identifying as homosexual too early.
According to Remafedi, there are several contributing factors that lead to suicide among homosexual teens, two of which are gender non-conformity and early childhood sexual experience. He concludes by saying that “teens that are turned on to homosexuality at an early age end up with the belief that they are born that way and it becomes increasingly difficult to change their behavior.” According to Remafadi the internal conflicts these teens face as they explore homosexuality without being ready to explore sexuality at all are the real reason why gay teens commit suicide.
There is enough chaos and confusion in the world without introducing our innocent children to sexual propaganda. Parents, be aware of what your children are hearing and seeing…in the media and in their school’s curriculum. Also, be aware of after-school GLBST (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Straight, Transsexual) programs. These are often advertised as programs to teach non-discrimination. A segment may touch on tolerance, but attending yourself will open your eyes to what your children are being exposed to…a world that is taking away their innocence much too early.
We at United Families appreciate all who advocate for the traditional family. The more voices, the more we like it. Blogger Matt Walsh is one of those advocates. Some of his blogs ring so true to our cause we at United Families pass them around and make comments…most of them lamenting the fact that we didn’t have his particular perception on the topic of the day. This is one of those blogs. Great insight Matt! We at UFI agree completely.