UFI

Five Reasons to be a Single Parent? Give me a Break!

In Abstinence, Child Development, Cohabitation, Divorce, Education, Families, father, Feminism, Grandparents, Marriage, Media, motherhood, Parenting, Research, Single Mothers, The Family, Values on March 26, 2013 at 1:58 pm

happy-married-couple

Rachel Allison

My children are pretty savvy…at least their mother thinks so.  However, periodically one or another will surprise me with a statement that proves that he’s not as “in the know” as he should be.  By sighting a few statistics or studies, my child has learned to verbally back off the issue until further investigation.

Where is Kerry Zane’s mother? Kerry Zane is an Emmy Award-winning television producer who wrote an article in the Huffington Post entitled “5 Reasons It’s Better to be a Single Parent.”  Unbelievably the Huffington Post published it.  Why unbelievably?  Because any reader who has studied family issues knows that Ms. Zane’s article is totally self serving and full of error. The HP is now the “clock that struck 13,”  casting doubt over all previous and future articles.

Ms. Zane’s reasons?

1.  “I no longer have to negotiate with a husband. “ I now get to make all the decisions “which in the long run is better for [my] offspring’s well-being.”

2.  “Stellar Independent Role Model:” (check out her #4 reason to see if #2 makes any sense at all.) Her daughters can see that she is a “completely whole and independent adult, and they will emulate her healthy behaviors.”  (Again, check out her #4.)

3. “Since society is shifting away from bonds of matrimony,” her children will be “enlightened and possibly relieved that they are no longer tied to that traditional lifestyle…Long-term relationships without wedding bands can be stronger.” (LOL)

4.  “Bed sharing not required:  Married couples may have more sex, but it isn’t nearly as much fun.  While they constantly have to “spice it up” in the bedroom, the nature of being single and switching partners does all the cooking for us.  We tease, experiment, and explore the bawdy awareness of every new lover.  Men and women, make the sex hotter during the first two years of a relationship. “ (Uh, is that a two year long-term relationship without wedding bands that can be stronger?  Why did she limit the “hot sex” to two years?  Is that when the guy or gal move on?)

5.  “Building a better body:  Marriages are like your freshman year in college.  You have the tendency to pack on the pounds.  One study found that women could gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of their wedded bliss and a whopping 54 pounds by the ten-year mark, while their single counterparts stay slim.  Most of us have an overriding desire to want to be attractive to prospective mates of the opposite sex.  The result of a divorce?  A slimmer, trimmer you—aka the divorce Diet.”  (It’s still all about #4)

Statistics from SingleParentSuccess.org

  • In 1995, nearly six of 10 children living with mothers only were near the poverty line. About 45 percent of children raised by divorced mothers and 69 percent by never-married mothers lived in or near poverty, which was $13,003 for a family of three in 1998. Census Brief CENBR/97-1, Bureau of the Census www.census.gov, September 1997.
  • 75% of children/adolescents in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families. (Center for Disease Control, Atlanta, GA)
  • 63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families (FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin – Investigative Aid)
  • 75% of teenage pregnancies are adolescents from single parent homes (Children in need: Investment Strategies…Committee for Economic Development)
  • Based on the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) results of married couples’ sexual activities, women generally seem happier with their sex lives than we would think; Although married women have sex less frequently, they are more likely to derive physical and emotional satisfaction from sex, than women in dating relationships.

I’m a 60 years old  wife, mother and grandmother. I certainly don’t pretend to be all knowing, but I can see Ms. Zane’s article for what it is… narcissistic, selfish, un-researched nonsense.  What upsets me most is that the HP’s younger readers may actually fall for all her worthless baloney.  Does anyone know Kerry Zane’s mother?

  1. Good for you for exposing this stuff for what it is! Today I was talking with an older woman who told me that the wife of her grandson doesn’t want to have children “because it will make me fat and lose my figure”! What is this world coming to?!

  2. It appears that Ms. Zane did write a vacuous article, a sure way to lose credibility as a writer. Posting statistics as you did was an overriding counterpoint to her rubbish.

  3. Diane, I’m afraid this world is coming to a very scary place. Hold tight to your God and your family. I have friends that are in their 60′s that chose “no children”. Today they are very sad, lonely, even afraid, and sorry for their selfish choice they made before it was too late.

  4. I can’t believe there’s someone as selfish as Zane breathing air. Scary. All she seems to think about is her own way and her steamy bedroom life. Ugh and Yuck! And I am very sorry to see the HP printed her article, but not surprised. Anything goes these days.

  5. I thought it was interesting that all of her reasons were “good for her”? and none of them good for her child. And as far as the sex part, children from cohabiting homes are about 11 times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused and are six times more likely to be physically, emotionally, or educationally neglected than children living with their married biological parents. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2011/04/3181/

    I think we are getting a glimpse of what society looks like when lots of children grow up as victims of divorce. It’s frightening to think what the generation following is going to be like.

  6. Great response, spot on. I’m still shaking my head over that awful article. I wrote my own response here: http://thestepsite.webs.com/apps/blog/entries/show/24935172-the-tragedy-of-too-much-me-

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