Reader Poll: “Is the societal shift toward women as the primary wage earner and men as “house husbands” a good thing or a bad thing?”

We asked UFI readers the following question:

“Is the societal shift toward women as the primary wage earner and men as “house husbands” a good thing or a bad thing?”

Here is their response:

3 Percent                     “Good Thing”

89 Percent                   “Bad Thing”

8 Percent                     “Doesn’t Matter”

The societal shift towards men and fathers being more engaged in the day-to-day living and care of children is a good thing and there is no reason that men can’t be more involved in the work of a household.

But the dramatic changes that have brought us to a place where more women than men in the work place (note the most recent recession) and more women than men receiving higher education – to note just a few changes – has not brought more happiness to either sex.  Our reader’s opinions seem to line up with that way of thinking and, by the way, so does the research.

You can go here to see a short list of just some of the research on the impact of working women upon marriage.

 

Crossing the Mexican Caribbean off my Traveling List

Ann Bailey

If Cancun is all excited about courting same-sex marriages, that makes it easier to choose another destination for my next vacation.  The media has been abuzz recently about the fact that a loop-hole in the local civil code allows same-sex marriages to take place there.  The hotel and tourism industry is already counting the extra dollars they think they’ll earn through “gay tourism.”   They’re preparing an even bigger media blitz begging European, Canadian and U.S. gays to choose the white sands and turquoise waters of the Caribbean as a backdrop for their wedding festivities.

It leaves me wondering if these organizations ever consider all the tourists that are driven away because of their decision to focus so heavily on the same-sex crowd.  Yes, I know that same-sex individuals are part of a demographic that has lots of disposable income.  But when you consider that homosexuals comprise somewhere between 2-4 percent of the total population – and a relatively small part of that demographic is even interested in getting married – it doesn’t seem like a wise business decision to me.

Here’s the calculus.  There are lots of other places with turquoise water, white sand, and more traditional values.   Those are the travel destinations that will be getting my cash.

Mental Gymnastics and Abortion

Ann Bailey

If you’re “pro-choice” (hate that phrase) and you can’t bring yourself to acknowledge that the unborn child is INDEED a child, you can make all sorts of excuses for your behavior or your predicament.  In a recent Salon article, “Why women have Second Trimester Abortions,” the author figuratively bends over backwards to make the case that women who have late term abortions have good reason for doing so.  I’m not buying it and I suspect that you won’t either.

If you follow the pro-abortion line of logic, it is the unborn child who must pay the price for all sorts of “challenges” and “trials” that may come into the mother’s life.  Here you go:  If you are pregnant and you lose your job, that’s acceptable grounds for having a late term abortion.  If you’re late on your rent or your unemployment runs out, all grounds for ending the life of your unborn child – no matter what the stage of pregnancy.

Susan Schewel, executive director of the Women’s Medical Fund, an organization that raises money so that it can be given to women who are short on funds to pay for their abortions, gives us this jewel of a quote:

“Given that 60 percent of women who have abortions are already mothers, coming up with the money [for an abortion] can be a tough calculus even with some help. “I spoke with someone yesterday who said she was going to return some of the Christmas gifts she’d gotten for her children.”

Now there’s one for you….Trying to elicit sympathy by telling the story of a woman having to return some Christmas gifts that she had gotten for her children so she could pay to abort her child– the sibling of these children.   Oh my, what a decision…buy gifts or end the life of my unborn child!

Before we go further maybe we should be clear on exactly what late term abortion is.  I can’t bring myself to put it in the body of this blog post, so you can read about it here.   How about second-trimester abortion?  It’s equally barbaric.  Again, I won’t put it into the body of this post, but you can read about it here.

And, if you want a lesson in denial and the lengths that pro-abortion advocates will go through to disguise what they are doing, go here and read their version of a second-trimester abortion.  Note that they NEVER refer to anything that even remotely resembles the fact that they are ending the life of an unborn child; they just refer to removing “tissue.”

I have to agree with the pro-aborts on one thing – what they are doing is unspeakable.

Strengthening the Family…#1 Resolution

by Rachel Allison

Aren’t we all motivated by the turning of the calendar?  December thirty first of each year not only causes many of us to turn our thoughts to the past twelve months, but also to face the next twelve months with hope and resolution to make it a happier and more productive year.

And, according to one source, these are the ten New Year’s resolutions most frequently made.

Starting with number ten:

10. Get Organized.

9.  Help others.

8.  Learn something new.

7.  Get out of debt.

6.  Quit drinking.

5.  Enjoy life more.

4.  Quit smoking.

3.  Lose weight.

2.  Exercise more.

1.  Spend more time with family and friends.

As I looked over this list, I had to agree that I have made some of these very resolutions.  And I’m pleased to say that making them has always helped me do better.  My husband and I put our resolutions and goals on our bathroom mirror where we can be reminded daily of those things we are trying to accomplish or overcome.

I hate to admit it, but the “spend more time with family” is something I have never written on my resolution list.  Have I been a negligent mother and grandmother?  I hope not! But number ONE on that list has jolted me into recognizing that there are always ways to improve.  Maybe instead of resolving to spend more time with family, I can resolve that the time spent is more productive, …more grandiose so that long-lasting memories are insured.

This thought made me think of the memories I have of my grandparents.  Sure there was the Christmas when my granddad made wooden stilts for all of us.  The stilts were a hit! And not only did his grandchildren spend Christmas Day walking around two feet taller than usual, but our dad’s all tried them out.  What a fun memory! I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it! But the memories that my mind gravitates to are the simple experiences shared.  Like the night my sister and I and two cousins spent the night with Grandma and Grandad.  We ate breakfast together in our pajamas and sat around the breakfast table talking and laughing until it was time for lunch.  Now that’s a memory!

Our grandma would hike the hills behind her home with us. She made little sack lunches for us so that hunger never shortened our “adventures.”

My grandma taught me how to play Chinese Checkers and Solitaire. She taught me how to gather eggs carefully from the nests of her hens. And she taught me to love flowers and gardening simply because I loved what she loved.

Hmmm!  These experiences and resulting memories cannot necessarily be called productive or grandiose.  They are a result of time and love given….just what I am going to put at the top of my New Year’s Resolution list for 2012.

Reader Poll: “Should a church have the right to fire an employee who doesn’t abide by the church’s clearly stated standards of conduct?”

Here’s the question we asked UFI readers:

Should a church have the right to fire an employee who doesn’t abide by the church’s clearly stated standards of conduct?

Here’s how readers responded:

100  Percent                “Yes”

0  Percent                    “No”

Looks like there’s pretty strong agreement that churches do not have to retain employees who violate the church’s standards.  At least one court agrees with all of you.   “A California appeals court upheld a church’s firing of its pre-school director for living with her boyfriend and raising their child together without being married– living arrangements that were contrary to the religious beliefs of the church.”

But there many individuals and entities that believe a church, on employment issues, has to be treated like every other employer:

Leondra R. Kruger, a lawyer for the government, said the court’s analysis should be essentially the same whether the employer accused of discrimination was a labor union or a church.

“That is extraordinary,” Justice Antonin Scalia responded. “We are talking here about the free exercise clause and about the establishment clause, and you say they have no special application?”  (Go here to see complete article)

Let’s hope that Justice Scalia’s attitude prevails and that the current composition of the Supreme Court will continue to recognize that religious freedom demands that churches have a say as to the behavior of those whom they employ.

 

 

“What do you want for Christmas?”

Rose Marie Murray

Every year my children predictably ask, “What do you want for Christmas?” My predictable answer? “World peace!” With heavy sighs, they prod again. But that’s what I really want, world peace. Doesn’t everybody? Now that my children are young adults I have a new answer to their traditional question. It’s something that idealistic “I can change the world” young adults can really do to help create world peace. One of the greatest gifts they can give to their parents, and to society at large, is to value, seek and commit to marriage.

“The state has a compelling public interest in the marriage of young adults. Marriage has beneficial social and health effects for both the married and their children, and these gifts also benefit immediate communities and all of society. … This would mean that our society would predictably have fewer children in foster care, less poverty, crime and drug abuse, and lower health care costs. These public gifts from marriage would translate into higher government revenues, lower government expenses, more citizen engagement and a more stable public order.”

[Allan Carlson, “Anti-Dowry?: The Effects of Student Loan Debt on Marriage and Childbearing,” The Family in America 19(12) (2005): 6.]

When your children ask you what you want for Christmas this year, wow them with this answer: ”less poverty, less crime, less drug abuse, lower healthcare costs, higher government revenues and lower government expenses!” When they roll their eyes at you, quickly follow-up with words they will better understand. Encourage them to prepare to marry and raise a family.

The traditional family is where world peace really begins. That’s a gift that’s truly worth giving!

Merry Christmas!

‘Tis the season

Danny Quinney

If you’re anything like me, and I know I am, you love Christmas.  It’s that magical time of the year where you get to go around using words like “Tis”, and “Twas”.  I especially love chasing my wife around with mistletoe.  Up until today, if you asked me what I wanted for Christmas I could have given you any number of answers.  Today, all I want for Christmas is to not hear Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas” on the radio for at least a year.  I love Christmas, but I’m a little burned out of that song.

Before I get into the meat of my article (the word “meat” is a fancy way of saying “the point”), I wanted to share a little something personal. At the church I attend, I teach the fourteen and fifteen year olds.  Recently I was talking to the (not so) little urchins and one of them related a conversation he had with one of his friends.  His “friend” had given him a list of 100 reasons why Christianity in general and my religion in particular, is false.

This week in Warren, Michigan the Mayor, Jim Fouts, is being accused of “discriminating and engaging in unlawful censorship.”  Why?  Well if you guessed it had anything to do with a nativity scene, you would be correct.  Apparently a gentleman named Douglas Marshall, who is a member of Freedom from Religion Foundation, wants the mayor to put up the following sign next to the nativity displayed inside city hall:

“At this season of the Winter Solstice, let reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”  The other side reads: “STATE/CHURCH: Keep Them Separate.”

Oh yeah, that should level the playing field.  According to the US Census there are 9,969,727 people living in Michigan as of July 2009. According to the USA Today 78% of the residence of Michigan are Christian, roughly 5% are “other religions”, and 17% are unaffiliated.

78% is a bunch of people.

Now, there are two things I don’t understand.  First, does the group Freedom from Religion Foundation have meetings?  ‘Cause, if they do, they are pretty much defeating the purpose of not being a member of a church.  And second, do you have NOTHING better to do with your time?  Seriously, get a hobby.

I try to be a critical thinker. I sincerely try to see both points of view, but this one I just don’t get.

“I hope this doesn’t shatter your hopes and dreams,” I told my class.  I then told them there is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy.  There isn’t.  I have kids and I can tell you someone doesn’t break into your house, steal their disembodied teeth and leave them money.  It doesn’t happen.  But if I was walking down the street, or say, walking through City Hall and saw a statue of the Tooth Fairy I wouldn’t wave my arms over my head and run screaming down the street, as if someone had gouged my eyes out.  If someone told me how happy the Tooth Fairy made them, and inspired them to be a better person, and asked me if I wanted to learn more about the Tooth Fairy and his plan for me, I would politely say, “I’m glad that makes you happy, but it really isn’t for me.”

If you equate God with the tooth fairy, and you were a rational thinking adult, why would you care if someone believed?  What’s it to you?

Seriously, take up golf.

According to the “USA Today” America is predominately a Christian nation.  If you believe Jesus to be the son of God or not, there is no denying he was a great man who changed the world.  Taking time to pause and member His birth doesn’t hurt anyone.

So…Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or if you’re atheist, have a nice day.

Remembering Anna

Rachel Allison

I don’t know if our UFI readers remember my writing about a group of women who, experiencing the heartache caused by their own abortions, have dedicated themselves to educating, influencing and hopefully inspiring others to choose life.  I heard from one of these women this week.  I would like to share with you what she shared with me.

Merry Christmas

This past year has been one of unanticipated blessings and opportunities. Rather than reflect it, I feel I should share with you a story shared with me by my hosts in Holland.  The story you are about to read will not soon be forgotten and reflects the faith of our Lord, when each of us face those times when we are struggling with our faith. Times we simply don’t understand.  The times we ask,  ‘Why?’  The Bible says, “ and a child shall show them” is so true in this case.  I hope you will be blessed and encouraged by this story.

History of the experience you are about to read

Rian and Leo had 3 beautiful girls.  When their youngest was 3 they announced that a fourth baby girl would soon join their family.  It was at twenty-nine weeks during an ultra sound that Rian and Leo discovered that the baby had no kidneys.  The doctors told them that their little girl would not live long outside the womb, and encouraged an abortion.  The news hit Rian and Leo with heart-wrenching reality. A long period of silence followed.  On the drive home,  at last Leo asked Rian,  “What do you want to do?”   Rian’s reply was full of determination. “I don’t want this……I DON’T!!! But I can’t discard our daughter.”  With crushing emotions, Leo heartily agreed. They knew it was the right decision but the pain was still very real.

In the 36^th week, the pains began, but they came so rapidly they knew they would not make it to the hospital.  The mid-wife was asked to come to the house instead.  Both sets of grandparents, the three girls and Leo were present when Anna was born.  She was perfect visually in everyway.   Laying her on Rian’s belly, everyone took turns touching and speaking love to the small infant who was visibly growing weaker.  Finally Leo asked everyone to lay hands on Anna as he prayed.  Leo thanked God for even this small period they could have Anna and he asked God to hold her in HIS arms until they could all be reunited.   Almost simultaneously, the amen and the last breath came.  Anna was bathed and dressed in the special pink dress and matching blanket they had selected for her.  A few days later a service was held with family and close friends.

Eight years later, Eva, now eleven, came down for breakfast and announced that during the night she had experienced heaven and Anna.   Rian asked Eva to write her experience while it was fresh in her memory and before the details were forgotten. The following is eleven-year-old Eva’s account.

Anna in heaven

This is what I dreamt by myself:

I saw the gates of heaven opening. There I saw Jesus or God standing.

At first I didn’t see Him well, because of the bright light. He opened His arms wide, and I ran towards Him. Then He lifted me, and together we laughed. I saw a lot of children, playing.  I could sit on God’s lap. God said: I want to show you someone! Then I asked: Who? God didn’t just say ‘Anna’, but He said: ‘your little sister!’ I was so glad!  He took me to a kind of meadow with grass and lots of flowers. It was so beautiful, I can’t explain! It seemed to be wild flowers, blue and yellow and red and orange flowers.

There were all animals that would normally kill each other, very beautiful was that too. And there I saw Anna.  Picking flowers.

Then Jesus walked away to leave us alone, but we weren’t alone at all, because there were lots of other children! Anna didn’t see me at first but when I called her she stood up right away, and we ran to each other. I was so glad! We embraced each other, and fell on the ground together.

Then we started playing with each other, not just playing but. .. well, I can’t explain. Than Anna tapped me and ran away, and I ran after her.

When I caught her we went playing with the animals. But then Jesus came again.

Anna stood up immediately and ran towards Him. And me too.   Anna and I sat on Gods lap. It was terrific! And then we did a group hug. Jesus, Anna, and I.

So beautiful.  But then I woke up.  I wish it all happened real because I want to hug her and God also!   Eva

Eva told her mother that Anna looked like someone in the age of 6 or 7 years. Her hair was like the color of Joas (blond) with two little tails.

(Dream of Eva Provoost,eleven years, about her little sister who died as a baby, 1.5 hour after birth.)

Kay Painter 
Remembering Sara Ministries International
%The Crossing
16241 N. Franklin Blvd. 
Nampa, ID 83687-8211 
208 989-3107 
remembering_sara@msn.com
http://www.rememberingsara.org

We do what’s best for kids – who are we kidding?

Ann Bailey

Sitting there in the dentist’s office, the Reader’s Digest cover caught my attention.   Smartly-dressed Michelle Obama grinned at me from the cover and the headline read:  “Michelle Obama’s Family Values.”  But it was the quote from her that really got me going:  “Everything we do must be for our children.”  But before I could snatch up the magazine, the receptionist called me into the back and into the dentist chair.

“Everything we do must be for our children.”  I could not agree more!   That’s such a lovely statement, but unfortunately, the policies that I see promoted by the occupants of the White House leave me wondering how much Mrs. Obama actually understands that statement.   As I sat there with the man in the white mask trying to save my ailing tooth, I had plenty of time to make a mental list of policies and behaviors that are promoted in this country, that do anything but show that “everything we do is for our children.”

These are not in any particular order, but here’s my list:

• Readily accept and even promote cohabitation, including giving benefits to individuals who “shack up,” when we know that these relationships are unstable at best and downright dangerous for children at worst.
• Create policies that encourage individuals to bear children out-of-wedlock dooming many of these children to lives of disadvantage and poverty.
• Allowed same-sex marriage to gain a foothold, ignoring the fact that acceptance of same-sex marriage means unequivocally that marriage and child bearing are unrelated.  Once again putting adults “needs” ahead of children’s.
• Use reproductive technologies that bless the lives of married men and women that wish to have children, but also allow children to be created to satisfy the whims of adults – many of these children being stripped of their right to have and to know both their mother and father.
• Disposable marriages and easy divorce that pretends to serve the needs of adults, but has brought enormous physical, emotional, and economic harm to children.
• One word:  abortion!
• Allowed feminism to convince us that woman’s place is in the workforce and that daycare suits children just fine.  Now we’ve built an economy built around this falsehood.
• Speaking of economy, we’ve consumed all that our parents bequeathed to us, lived a lifestyle beyond our means for decades, and now we’re consuming our children’s future as well.

This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but it is a sad one.  Mrs. Obama and all of us need to take a closer look at that sentence and REALLY think through what it means.  What’s best for our children should always be our primary focus– not just window dressing for a magazine cover.

 

Room at the Inn – Faulty logic of Abortion

From the Desk of Carol Soelberg

While this season of year typically celebrates the life of a new born in Bethlehem, we cannot ignore the ongoing threat to new life today in the form of abortion.  In this week’s alert, our Life Issues expert, Melissa Anderson, makes a comparison for us that certainly sheds new light on an old argument.

While the incredibly difficult circumstances that surround rape and incest merit our full attention and compassion, it must never be forgotten that abortion is not the answer and there is “room at the inn” for all children.

Rape, Incest and Faulty Logic

Melissa Anderson

Rape. Incest. Life of mother. It’s always surprising to me how often these three cases are used to support a system of elective abortion on demand. You’ve heard it all too often. “Oh yeah, what about rape?”  Yet these cases account for less than one percent of all abortions performed on an annual basis.  Faulty logic is always hard to spot unless you apply the same logic to a different issue, removed from the argument at hand.

Let’s look at Capital Punishment.

No one wants to take human life.  In the criminal justice system, capital punishment is reserved for only the most serious offenses.  Even in the most serious cases there is still heated controversy over whether the state should have the power to execute a human being. And yet the majority of Americans agree that the ability to execute and individual should be available in egregious circumstances.  When a child is raped and murdered, when a violent felony takes an innocent life, when a police officer is killed, these are all circumstances in which the majority of Americans would agree that capital punishment is an option.  It’s certainly not the only option by any means, but an option.

In order to hold execution open for only the most egregious of offences, we have created a system of balances, carefully weighing the severity of the crime, the risk to society and the cold heartlessness of the surrounding circumstances. Then, and only then, do we allow an execution.  We do not allow for the execution of an individual convicted of tax evasion in order to leave the punishment open for a serial killer.  We do not execute for a stolen bottle of orange juice, for jay walking, for speeding.  We employ capital punishment only in severe situations.  Only as option and only when placed in a situation where there are victims on every hand.

Now we’ll apply that to abortion.

Touting the need for an abortion alternative when rape, incest or danger to mother’s life are at issue, abortion proponents have long held that elective abortion on demand is the only option available.  Such is not the case.  Elective abortion on demand neither protects the life of a mother nor the interest of victims of rape or incest. We’re so focused on allowing abortion that we fail to see the problem with arguing for termination of a rape victim’s preborn infant instead of focusing our attention on eradicating rape and incest.

If capital punishment were permitted in the same way abortions are permitted, society would allow for the execution of a bad check writer simply to ensure that the process of execution was left open should the need to execute Jack the Ripper arise.  But such is not the case.  It’s not the case because as a society we understand that the option to take a life should be only exercised in the most pressing, damnable, heinous of situations.

The same argument which calls for abortion to be a legal alternative in the egregious cases of rape, incest and mother’s life also invariably calls for restricted access to only such cases, as is already done in the arena of capital punishment.  Lest we execute for stolen orange juice.

Capital Punishment is not, is never, permitted in all cases simply because it is a recognized option in less than one percent of cases.  The same should hold true for abortion.  Abortion should not be permitted in all cases, on demand, simply because there may be an issue of rape, incest or danger to the mother’s life in less than one percent of cases which arise.

And yet we live in a culture, in a society, where convenience is the only commodity and lives are sacrificed to its purchase.

If you read these posts and agree with the arguments presented, help us fight. Help us ensure that a capital punishment affixed before birth is not the fate of our children.  Donate time. Donate a conversation with a neighbor.  Donate an instant in the workplace when instead of quietly walking away you stand for what you believe and calmly explain your position.

Raise the banner on behalf of all children.

 

Melissa Anderson is a lawyer in Sierra Vista. Arizona. She is the mother of seven crazily adorable children and an author of children’s books. In her spare time, Melissa volunteers extensively with Court Appointed Special Advocates educating the community on issues related to child abuse and neglect. She is also an officer in the United States Army.