Consequences of Abortion… More than the Death of a Child.

by Rachel Allison

In September Priscilla Coleman was published in the British Journal of Psychiatry showing an association between induced abortion and mental health problems.

Overall, women with an abortion history experience an 81% increased risk for mental health problems. The results showed that the level of increased risk associated with abortion varies from 34% to 230% depending on the nature of the outcome. Separate effects were calculated based on the type of mental health outcome with the results revealing the following: the increased risk for anxiety disorders was 34%; for depression it was 37%; for alcohol use/abuse it was 110%, for marijuana use/abuse it was 220%, and for suicide behaviors it was 155%.

When compared to unintended pregnancy delivered, women who terminated had a 55% increased risk of experiencing any mental health problem.

Finally, nearly 10% of the incidence of all mental health problems was shown to be directly attributable to abortion.

There are women all over the world who, having aborted their children, recognize the emotional and mental impact it has had on their lives. To their credit, many have publically spoken out including at UN conferences.  Several years ago, I met one such group of women.  Seven articulate women with a message that they were passionate about traveled to NYC to join hands in protest of the worldwide abortion agenda that was robbing the unborn of their right to life. Each one of these women took their turn telling about the helplessness they felt when they discovered they were pregnant, and the mental anguish they experienced as the decision was made to terminate their pregnancy.  Each and every one of them expressed their disbelief at the flippant demeanor the nurses and doctors had while they were being prepared for the “procedure.”  Each one refused to believe they were destroying a life…but afterward, they knew the reality of what they had allowed to happen…and it has haunted them every day of their lives since. To their credit they were speaking out so that others do not feel their loss and anguish.

I had a doctor acquaintance who told me of an experience he had as a medical student.  He was watching an abortion take place.  The doctor performing the abortion was callous and unfeeling.  The woman on the table was in total denial, talking freely, even laughing at times until she became sedated.  Immediately following the abortion, as she was becoming coherent, she began to sob uncontrollably.  At that point she knew what she had allowed to happen…this young medical student was powerless to help her pain.

There are many I’m sure that will dispute the findings of Ms Coleman’s study.  They will say, “Women are not damaged. They make a choice, and they do just fine with their decision to terminate the life growing within them.”

The scientific findings may or may not be accurate but my heart goes out to those women who are damaged.  If Ms Coleman’s data is incorrect, our hearts should mourn for a society where women are not affected by such a gut-wrenching decision.

“If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.”

By Danny Quinney

As you may or may not know, I’m not a professional writer.  I often think I should be.  If the truth be told, I’m just keeping my amateur status so I can write in the Olympics.  There are a few things I never do when writing.  The first is I never utilize gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence (use big words to sound smart).  The second is I never write unless I have had a few Diet Cokes.  I don’t like it when I have too much blood in my caffeine stream.  So, let me take a sip of Diet Coke and get started.

Earlier this week I read an article by Kate Bolick entitled “All the Single Ladies”. Let me tell you, it was a LOOOOONG article.  It went on and on and on and on and on and on AND ON.   Did I say it was long?  I believe it was just four paragraphs away from being  considered a novel.  Ms Bolick, in addition to being long winded, is also in the habit of utilizing gargantuan idioms, but in her case, she ain’t faking it.  It was a (long) veeeeerrrrrrry thorough article (long) covering many aspects of modern life, and was a (long) personal story of her decision process on putting off marriage.  It was long, but interesting and worth the read.

Ms. Bolick begins the article by recounting a story of a break-up that happened ten years ago.  She admits she was (and is) still fond of the man. Her friends were shocked at the break up.  She admits not being sure why they broke up.  She says, “To account for my behavior, all I had were two intangible yet undeniable convictions: something was missing; I wasn’t ready to settle down.”  She continued, “The decision to end a stable relationship for abstract rather than concrete reasons (“something was missing”), I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else. And the elevation of independence over coupling (“I wasn’t ready to settle down”) is a second-wave feminist idea I’d acquired from my mother, who had embraced it, in part, I suspect, to correct for her own choices.” She then described herself as a third grader marching into school wearing a  feminist inspired T-shirt with the slogan:  “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

Later, she continues, “But what transpired next lay well beyond the powers of everybody’s imagination: as women have climbed ever higher, men have been falling behind. We’ve arrived at the top of the staircase, finally ready to start our lives, only to discover a cavernous room at the tail end of a party, most of the men gone already, some having never shown up—and those who remain are leering by the cheese table, or are, you know, the ones you don’t want to go out with.”

People are putting marriage off later and later, “In 1960, the median age of first marriage in the U.S. was 23 for men and 20 for women; today it is 28 and 26…. According to the Pew Research Center, a full 44 percent of Millennials and 43 percent of Gen Xers think that marriage is becoming obsolete.”

Why is that?        

Not wanting to turn this into the eternal article, I’m going to concentrate on what I think the problem is.  I think she unwittingly nailed it when she said, “I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else. And the elevation of independence over coupling”.  To me that’s the underlying problem.  Selfishness.

I can tell you from personal experience marriage is hard.  My wife and I have been happily married for seven years now (we got married twenty years ago).  She will be the first to tell you the seven happy years are accumulative.  NOT in row.  It’s work.  My mother said it best when she told me, as a recently engaged boy, marriages based on the 50/50% principle fail.  You have to be 100/100% or you won’t make it.  Luckily I found a woman who has been willing to put up with my shenanigans and tomfoolery.

I’m smiling right now because I just realized the chorus to Beyonce’s song “All the single ladies” (the title of Ms. Bolick’s article) goes “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.”  Beyonce did just that.  She has a successful career, got married, and is now pregnant.

The perfect marriage partner doesn’t exist

Of course you don’t want to lower your standards to raise someone else’s.  But be realistic.  The perfect man doesn’t exist, of course neither does the perfect woman (and that includes you).

So ladies, what do you do if your “Knight in Shining Armor”, turns out to be an idiot in aluminum foil?  Well, as an aluminum clad man I can tell you personally the best thing you can do is love us.  Men are gross, I know it, you know it, everyone knows it.  Left to our own devises we would still be huddled in a cave somewhere. Not to get all “Tom Cruisey” on you but, “You (sniff, sniff)….(sob) complete me”.  Love us, I’m not necessarily talking in a carnal way (although I’m big fan of the carnal way), Love us.  But don’t get “love” and “mother” us mixed up.  There is a HUGE difference.  Find a man you can be compatible with, someone who you can work out your problems, and can share your successes with and take the plunge.

The newspaper columnists Jenkins Lloyd Jones once said, “Anyone who imagines bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.”

“Life is like an old time rail journey…delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts: interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Myth Buster: Does spending time in daycare negatively impact children?

Talk about controversial topics!  This is one many mothers would choose to avoid.  However, with 70 percent of American mothers with minor children in the labor force (60 percent of those with children under age three), the question certainly needs to be asked and answered.  “The Effects of Day Care on the Social-Emotional Development of Children,” authored by Dr. Jenet Jacob Erickson, provides analysis of 30 years of research on the effects of non-maternal child care (day care) on children’s social-emotional development.”

The report looked specifically at the relationship and attachment levels between child and parent.  It analyzed such things as “social competence, compliance, behavior problems, peer interaction, and self-esteem.”  It also looked at such behaviors as assertiveness, aggression, neediness, and disobedience/defiance.

Here are some of the report’s major findings:

•  “Maternal sensitivity and the mother’s psychological health is the strongest and most consistent predictor of a secure attachment relationship for children both in and out of child care.”
• Children who spend 30 hours per week “in day care are more likely to exhibit problematic social behaviors including aggression, conflict, poorer work habits and risk-taking behaviors throughout childhood and into adolescence.”
• These problematic behaviors and slower social development are especially seen in children who begin spending extensive time in day care before turning one year-old.
• The quality of childcare “does not reduce the negative effects” brought on by exposing children to long hours of day care.
• Mothers of young children who “spend long hours in day care show a decrease in sensitivity in their interactions with their child” and “less positive engagement.”
• Married mothers are more sensitive to their children and more likely to have positive interaction with their children, helping to develop more secure attachment between mother and child—an important aspect in reducing the risk of problem behaviors in children.
• “More hours in child care predicts significantly fewer social skills and poorer work habits in 3^rd-grade measures.  By the 6^th grade, more hours in center care predicts more problem behaviors, but is not associated with social skills and work habits.  By age 15, more hours in non-relative child care during the early years predicts more problem behaviors and increased risk-taking and impulsivity.”
• “Where fathers, grandmothers, or other relatives provided early child care, negative social-behavioral effects seemed to diminish across development.”

What about Pre-K education?

According to the report, policy makers should be careful in considering proposals for universal pre-K education because of the combination of existing questions as to the cognitive benefits, and the report’s findings related to “negative social-emotional and behaviors outcomes associated with early child care.”

The report encourages “the development of policies that would allow parents to make choices that would reduce the amount of time children spend in non-maternal child care throughout the earliest years.”    It mentions things like expanding parental leave, implementing policies that would help parents, particularly mothers, spend more time with children without jeopardizing their jobs, allowing parents to purchase insurance for part-time work, etc.

If you’re a parent who has your child in daycare, or are considering it, you will want to thoroughly read through the study and understand the implications.

Reader Poll: “Recognizing that all are important, what trait or quality do you think is the most important to teach children?”

Here’s the question we asked UFI readers: 

“Recognizing that all are important, what trait or quality do you think is the most important to teach children?”

Here’s how readers responded:

0 Percent                  Determination

36 Percent               Responsibility

11 Percent               Self-confidence/Self-Worth

32 Percent               Gratitude

21 Percent               Self-Control

 This was a tough one!  You can see that there was not an overwhelming winner with the results for “responsibility” and “gratitude” being very close.  Our readers don’t seem to follow the mantra of the secular world which seems to state that the most important thing you can teach children is to be self-confident.

Our staff at UFI had a long conversation about this question and couldn’t decide between responsibility and gratitude.  Can you be responsible and still be ungrateful?   If you are truly grateful, is it possible to not feel responsible to all around you?   All of the qualities mentioned are important ones and hopefully this gave you an opportunity to examine your own values and parenting focus.

 

 

Gratitude: A Matter of Character

I love November and December and that they bring with them a joyous season of “THANKS” and “GIVING”.  With a grateful heart to each of you for your continued support in strengthening the families of the world, I offer a few personal thoughts on gratitude.

One of the great influences in my life is my grandmother Mynoa Andersen.  She left with me the legacy of a grateful heart.  I heard her often say: “I spend half of my time counting my blessings and the other half thanking God for them, and that leaves no time left to feel sorry for myself.”  Blessings? I used to think as I recalled her life as a widow of nearly 40 years, raising most of her children alone.  She endured the loss of two homes, one in a flood, and one they were driven from.  She lived much of her life in what might today be considered dire poverty.  Yet to her, she felt blessed beyond measure, for all she could see were the blessings.  I learned from Grandmother that gratitude is a matter of character not circumstance!

Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for blessings or benefits we have received. It is an uplifting, exalting emotion.  Those who cultivate a grateful attitude are more likely to be happy and emotionally strong. (Please scroll down and you can see some of the research on the “Science of Gratitutde.”)  Have you ever know a person with a heart full of gratitude to be bitter, resentful, or mean-spirited.  I do not believe such emotions can exist together.  I learned from my Grandmother that a thankful heart is a happy heart!

Gratitude when truly felt, demands expression.  We can be thankful to our parents, family, friends, and teachers. We can express appreciation to everyone who has assisted us in any way.  I will never forget the year our family decided to consciously thank people who did things for us routinely that we usually took for granted: the clerk in the grocery store, our teachers in school. We even thought of the mailman.  We decided to write a thank you note for the mail carrier and leave it in our box.  A few days later, we got a knock at the door.  It was our mailman with a note of appreciation.  He was retiring that December and he stopped in to say that in his entire career as a postal worker he never remembered having ever been thanked.  He said it made his retirement complete.  A simple expression of thanks touched both his life and ours.

I love the poem “How Different” by Richard Trench which helps us to recognize the effect of gratitude in our lives.

Some murmur when the sky is clear
And wholly bright to view,
If one small speck of dark appear
In their great heaven of blue:
And some with thankful love are filled,
If but one streak of light,
One ray of God’s good mercy, gild
The darkness of their night.
(Richard Chenevix Trench)

With ingratitude we lose sight of the blessings we have by comparing them to the seemingly endless blessings of others.  Developing an expectation that more is deserved can cause our plate of plenty to appear empty. Comparing distorts reality giving way to ingratitude.

It is my hope that we will approach the weeks ahead with an eye for and heart full of gratitude:  That our homes and families will be strengthened by expressions of heartfelt thanks; and that we like Grandmother Mynoa, will experience a happy heart, born of a thankful heart.

Sincerely,

Carol Soelberg
President, United Families International

 Research on “The Science of Gratitude”

Grateful students reported higher grades, more life satisfaction, better social integration and less envy and depression than their peers who were less thankful and more materialistic. Additionally, feelings of gratitude had a more powerful impact on the students’ lives overall than materialism.  Froh, Jeffrey J., et.al. (2011) Gratitude in Adolescence:  An Understudied Virtue. Journal of Happiness Studies.

Those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, had fewer health complaints, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. Emmons, R. A., McCullough, M. A. (2003) Counting Blessings versus Burdens:  An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

“[F]amilies who are able to redefine a stressor event more positively appear to be better able to cope and adapt.” Price, S.J., Price, C.A., McKenry, P.C., (2010). Families & Change, Coping with Stressful Events and Transitions. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE publications, Inc

In a sample of adults with neuromuscular disease, a 21-day gratitude intervention resulted in greater amounts of high energy positive moods, a greater sense of feeling connected to others, more optimistic ratings of one’s life, and better sleep duration and sleep quality, relative to a control group. Emmons, R. A., et. al. (2003), Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude. University of California, Davis.

Newlyweds who showed gratitude for one’s partner improved marital satisfaction and adjustment.  Schramm, D. G., Marshall, J. P., Harris, V., & Lee, T. R. (2005). After ‘I do’: The newlywed transition. Marriage & Family Review, 38(1), 45-67.

“Feelings of gratitude and generosity are helpful in solidifying our relationships with people we care about, and benefit to the one giving as well as the one on the receiving end.”  Everyday gratitude serves an important relationship maintenance mechanism in close relationships, acting as a booster shot to the relationship.  Algoe, S. A., Gable, S. A., Maisel, N.C. (2010), It’s the Little Things: Everyday Gratitude as a Booster Shot for Romantic Relationships.  Personal Relationships, 17, 217-233.

Gratitude improves one’s feeling that life is manageable and meaningful.  Lambert, N. M., Graham, S. M., Fincham, F. D., & Stillman, T. F. (2009). A changed perspective: How gratitude can affect sense of coherence through positive reframing. The Journal Of Positive Psychology, 4(6), 461-470.

People with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others.  They are rated as more generous and more helpful by people in their social networks. McCullough, M. E., Emmons, R. A., Tsang, J. (2002), The Grateful Disposition: A Conceptual and Empirical Topography. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82(1), 112-127.

Feeling and expressing gratitude significantly predicted marital happiness among long-term married couples. Gordon, C. L., Arnette, R. M., & Smith, R. E. (2011). Have you thanked your spouse today?: Felt and expressed gratitude among married couples. Personality And Individual Differences, 50(3), 339-343.

Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.  The disposition toward gratitude appears to enhance pleasant feeling states more than it diminishes unpleasant emotions.  Grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. Emmons, R. A., et. al. (2003), Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude. University of California, Davis.

Participants who expressed gratitude to their partner for 3 weeks saw greater strength in their relationship. Lambert, N. M., Clark, M. S., Durtschi, J., Fincham, F. D., & Graham, S. M. (2010). Benefits of expressing gratitude: Expressing gratitude to a partner changes one’s view of the relationship. Psychological Science, 21(4), 574-580.

Gratitude is associated with higher satisfaction with life and lower materialism.  Lambert, N. M., Fincham, F. D., Stillman, T. F., & Dean, L. R. (2009). More gratitude, less materialism: The mediating role of life satisfaction. The Journal Of Positive Psychology, 4(1), 32-42.

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What – Turkey Pot Pies for Thanksgiving Dinner?

By Kelli Houghton

The holiday spirit is once again in the air. It is impossible to think about the holidays without contemplating the importance of family relationships. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we long to find peace and joy during this season, and most importantly to be with family. The passing of my dad and grandfather this past year have deepened my desire to gather family around and to value the time spent together.

As my memory brings me to holidays past, I can’t help but smile at some of my more unique – but special, holiday experiences. Like when my mom, siblings, and I celebrated thanksgiving by warming up frozen turkey pot pies for dinner. My dad was a sea captain and was out to sea this particular Thanksgiving. We did not feel like eating a large feast without him, so we were creative and had turkey pot pies and talked about the feast we would have when dad returned home. My mom, siblings, and I still have fond memories of that holiday and laugh about our “creative” Thanksgiving dinner.

Another memory I have is the one I refer to as Thanksgiving in our “Little House in the Arctic”.  This particular Thanksgiving we were stationed in an Eskimo village in Alaska located above the Arctic Circle. As we were very far from family, my husband, kids, and I were looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with our friends who lived in the apartment complex adjacent to ours. As Thanksgiving Day approached – so did a massive whiteout blizzard. The arctic blizzard became so treacherous that we dared not venture out our front door to walk to our neighbor’s home where the feast was waiting for our arrival. Even though we were disappointed, we quickly set and decorated the table for an impromptu thanksgiving feast. Even though our plans changed, we fondly remember our rigged up Thanksgiving dinner in our snowed in Arctic apartment.

Some holidays are exactly how we imagine – but then there are those “creative” years that make us smile. No matter how we celebrate, having family to share the experience with makes it memorable.

The hustle and bustle of life passing by.

Time just goes on and to where, and for why?

Change is a constant it seems, as they say,

Today is much different than yesterday.

But unchanged is one thing, and I think you’ll agree,

The need for some family, and good friends –company.

So pause, relax, and take a break and unwind,

For reliable goodness of only the best kind.

We would love for you to leave a comment about one of your most memorable holidays with your family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Face of Modern Slavery

by Rachel Allison

When I read last week from United Families Weekly News Feed about The Face of Modern Slavery By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF I was reminded of what I had seen and felt years ago at the UN Conferences when desperate men and women would come to plead their frustration and helplessness in regards to the sex trafficking they saw and experienced in their native countries.

I was shocked to see live footage of courageous men who, with video cameras in hand, took the viewer through the narrow winding crowded paths that led to a brothel in Calcutta, India.  The keeper of the gate did her best to shut out the cameras, but without men to help, she was helpless.  We saw 5 young girls caged like animals in a prison the size of a washing machine or clothes dryer box.  We saw the blank stares from these young girls, as well as those assigned to small rooms where men came hour after hour to satisfy their sexual cravings.

Shortly after arriving at the brothel, men did come to kick out the intruders, but it was too late.  The images were recorded.  The men didn’t confiscate the camera nor the film.  They just shoved and man-handled the camera man and narrator until they were forced to leave.

The documentary told of taking the footage to the local police who did nothing, even when they were told that the girls in the brothels were being held captive against their will, and that they were all minors.

We learned that the police are part of the problem.  In essence they feel that these young girls are providing an important service to the men of the city.  There was nothing wrong with what was going on…it is an age-old tradition that is part of their culture, and they didn’t want to be bothered by these men and their high-minded ideas.  In fact at the end of the video, we learned that the narrator of the film was killed two weeks after taking the film to the local police. His murderer was never caught.

At this same UN side event we learned that women go to the rural areas where poverty is rampant and ask parents to allow their daughters to break out of their situation by working in the homes of good people needing domestic help.  These trusting parents turn their young daughters over to these women, and when they don’t hear from their daughters, they are told they ran away from their employment and cannot be found.

One such situation involved the young daughter of the villages’ local policeman.  When his daughter was not heard from he went to find her.  After weeks of searching he found her in one of these disgusting brothels.  She was pregnant, but she didn’t have any of the life-threatening diseases that so many of these young girls contract. She was one of the lucky ones to have been found and brought home.

Some of these girls are taken to other countries where they can’t communicate.  They are helpless in their quest to escape.  After months of being raped over and over again, all eventually contract tuberculosis, venereal disease, or other life-threatening illnesses or they become pregnant.  What happens to them at that point?  They are thrown out into the streets to wander and fend for themselves in a foreign and adverse environment.

We shudder, but it happens every day.  How depraved the societies of the world have become!  Would the reader be surprised to learn that there is sex-trafficking taking place right here in the United States?  There is.  We heard the testimony of one young woman from New York City, who after being raped repeatedly by an uncle, left home because there was no one there that would protect her. Pimps picked up on her situation the minute they found her roaming the streets.  She was used and abused for months before she found shelter and people who helped her escape her desperate situation.

Have things changed?  Apparently, it is still taking place.  We can do all that we can to protect and educate, but we should also search the internet to learn if there are groups fighting this tragic abuse of young boys and girls.  If any find such groups please let UFI know, and we will publish and disseminate the information.  If Kristof is right  in his calculations,that at least 10 times as many girls are now trafficked into brothels annually as African slaves were transported to the New World in the peak years of the trans-Atlantic slave trade, then this is a cause every person should become aware of and the outcry should be heard around the world.

 

 

 

The Perfect Abortion Candidate

Today we at United Families International welcome Melissa to our UFI Team.  Her story will astound you.   Melissa speaks with a voice and experience that will touch hearts and change minds.  You won’t want to miss her upcoming articles.

By Melissa Anderson

I was the perfect abortion candidate.  When my nineteen year old mother discovered she was pregnant with me she already had a nine month old son, no education, no employment and no future. Neither of my parents were ever employed for more than a few months at a time. I can almost hear the masses calling to my mother, advising her that the uneducated, unemployed, unplanned teen parent should never allow a birth.  As it was the state of California paid for my birth, my formula, my baby food. For my entire childhood the state of California bought every bit of food that made its way into my mouth.

My life was never easy.  My father would later be condemned to serve two life sentences in state prison for child abuse, child neglect, sexual abuse and, perhaps the worst of it all, torture.  Of all the things to succeed at, my parents chose the Olympics of abuse, running the gauntlet through every category of abuse they knew, hiding us in secrecy while we endured whatever our parental task masters had in mind to heap upon us.  It was in my childhood home I witnessed, endured and eventually survived the multiple depravities one human can lash upon another.  The hateful words and actions of my mother and father will forever haunt me.  I will never forget the screams, the blood, the pain.  I will never forget the humiliation and the hopelessness.

And yet, I bless my mother’s name.

When the cold winter of Seoul, Korea nipped at my nose, I had my mother to thank for it.  When the sharp rays of the South Carolina sun shone on my black hair, I had my mother to thank for it.  I had my mother to thank the first time I handled the red clay earth of Georgia or felt the lap of the ocean against my bare feet in Monterey. Most of all, when I curl up with my own baby and smell the sweet scent of milky baby breath, or hold my child’s hand or braid thick masses of hair or bake terribly disgusting brownies that my children secretly feed to the recycling bin, I have my mother to thank.  When my husband holds me tightly, I have my mother to thank.  She gave me life. She gave me the chance to choose for myself what my life would be and to eventually move beyond the childhood she gave me.  If the woman gave me nothing else, she gave me life and for that I bless her name.

Others aren’t so lucky.  Others are never given the chance for birth at all because some social formula we’ve created pops out the risk factors and determines that birth would be too much of a risk for mother and society.  One more mouth to feed.  One more future criminal minority on welfare perpetuating the cycle.  One more mother who wasn’t ready when she made the choice to have sexual intercourse.  And the preborn infant pays the price.

And what have I been doing with the life I shouldn’t have been given the opportunity to live? Am I a child abuser myself? Perhaps addicted to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to drown out my parents voices? Absolutely not.  In fact, I’m a licensed attorney, a children’s book author, child advocate, raising my own children beneath the protection of love and support. The cycle is broken.

The choice to go to law school for me was a no-brainer.  The world, I felt, needed a translator, someone who had spent close to two decades in the trenches of poverty, abuse, hunger and despair. Someone whose life might have ended in one of the multitude of abortion clinics conveniently located in the poor, minority parts of town where young girls flock who already feel trapped and afraid. After all, it’s their own choice; the preborn don’t matter.

The rhetoric of “choice”

The interest of preborn infant are consistently disregarded for the faulty arguments raised in defense of abortion.  Future articles will discuss the connection between abortion rhetoric and child abuse rates, will dissect the faulty logic of allowing elective abortion on demand in the untruthful plea for protection of the less than 1% of women who seek an abortion for reasons of rape, incest and mother’s life, as well as the argument for sonograms as a necessity prior to an abortion.

While the horrific memories of my youth will lie in the back of my mind, always silently yearning for recognition, one by one those memories are being replaced by my own choices- The choices of the fetus who never had a chance.

Let us not forget that deeply hidden in the rhetoric for choice is the glaringly incorrect proposition that the life choices of the preborn infant have already been made.  The welfare-fed daughter of a convict and an uneducated teenaged mother is better off aborted.  She’ll just feed the cycle of poverty and abuse in the future.  Her choices are already made.  She will fail.  As a survivor of the trenches, I am here to say that such thinking is absolutely incorrect. More than that, I am here to debunk the false logic of the pro-abortion campaign.  I hope that you will join me in the campaign to save the lives of our children. Share these articles. Joining together we will change hearts and minds.

 Melissa Anderson is a lawyer in San Antonio, Texas.  She is the mother of seven crazily adorable children and an author of children’s books.  In her spare time, Melissa volunteers extensively with Court Appointed Special Advocates educating the community on issues related to child abuse and neglect.  She is also an officer in the United States Army.

For more information on Melissa’s story:

From brutal childhood to head of the class

Overcoming Obstacles

Reader Poll: Would you vote in support of a “personhood amendment” similar to the one that recently failed in Mississippi?

Here’s the question we asked our readers:

“Would you vote in support of a “personhood amendment” similar to the one that recently failed in Mississippi?”

 

Here’s how UFI readers responded:                                        

71  percent            Yes

24  Percent              No

5  Percent                Undecided

The personhood amendment movement is somewhat controversial within the pro-life/pro-family community.   Most in the pro-life community can rally around the understanding that life begins at conception, but for many the personhood amendments are an issue of strategy.   Is the timing right to push for an amendment such as this?   Has the culture moved toward a pro-life position to the degree that the type of legislation can be passed or is it counterproductive and even dangerous to the pro-life movement.  For example, the pro-abortion folks are certainly glorying in the loss of the Mississippi Amendment and insisting that the pro-life movement is losing its momentum now.

There is no question that if an amendment such as this were to pass it would be challenged in court and could eventually end up before the U.S. Supreme Court.  If that were to occur before the court had the right composition of pro-life minded judges, the results could be devastating – a ruling against the personhood amendment that would set the pro-life movement back for generations to come.

Is it better to take a slower, more incremental approach to laws and with that effort soften hearts and change the culture to eventually accept an overturn of Roe v. Wade?  Those pre-conditions are probably necessary to allow a sympathetic U.S. Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade anyway.

All in, United Families International is in the camp that believes the slower, more incremental approach is a better strategy, but we certainly understand and sympathize with the pro-personhood amendment position as well.

 

Good News for California’s Prop 8!

Members of the California Supreme Court unanimously ruled on Thursday, that the proponents of Proposition 8 have the right under state law to defend the 2008 California marriage amendment in federal court.  You will recall that the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9^th Circuit threw the case back to the California Supreme Court to render an opinion as to whether or not  Prop 8 sponsors had “standing” to defend the voter approved amendment to California’s constitution.

You can see the text of  the new ruling here.

Alliance Defense Fund Senior Counsel Brian Raum:

“The court was clearly right to conclude that the California marriage amendment should not go undefended just because state officials have refused to defend it…  Otherwise, state officials would have succeeded in indirectly invalidating a measure that they had no power to strike down directly.”

The ruling itself states that allowing the marriage amendment sponsors to become the defenders “assures voters who supported the measure and enacted it into law that any residual hostility or indifference of current public officials to the substance of the initiative measure will not prevent a full and robust defense of the measure to be mounted in court on the people’s behalf.”

The attorneys for the same-sex couples who brought the constitutional challenge in the first place had argued that the sponsors of the Prop 8 ballot measure had no more personal interest in defending it than anyone else in the state who had voted for the amendment and they as a sponsoring group would not be harmed if the amendment was voided.  The California Court didn’t fall for that line of reasoning and stated that they had a “unique relationships to the initiative measure” and were the most obvious and logical persons to defend the measure.

Here’s a timeline for California’s Prop 8:

• February 12, 2004, Mayor of San Francisco illegally begins issuing “same-sex” marriages licenses.  On March 11, 2004, the California Supreme Court ordered officials of San Francisco to stop.
•  May 15, 2008, California Court strikes down two statutory laws that banned same-sex marriage – one from 1977 and California’s DOMA law know as Proposition 22 – passed in the year 2000.
• On June 19, 2008, the California Superior Court ordered magistrates and country clerks to begin allowing same-sex marriage.
• November 5, 2008, the citizens of California pass a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.
• On August 4, 2010, U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn R. Walker overturns Prop 8 in the case Perry v. Schwarzenegger ruling that Prop 8 violated both due process and equal protection clauses of the U.S. Constitution.
• August 12, 2010, Judge Walker announces his decision to “lift the stay” and allow same-sex marriages to begin again.  August 16, 2010, U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit indefinitely extended the stay pending appeal of the decision of Perry v. Schwarzenegger.
• January 4, 2011, the Ninth Circuit certified a question to the California Supreme Court, asking the state court to decide if the proponents of Prop 8 had “standing” to appeal the case.
• September, 2011, the California Supreme Court heard Oral arguments on the question of “standing.”
• November 17, 2011, the State Court issues opinion that proponents of Prop 8 do have “standing” to defend the measure in federal court.

Where does it go from here?

The case returns to the 9^th Circuit where that body still has to make a formal decision on whether to accept the opinion of the California State Court on the question of “standing.”  It is assumed that they will agree that Prop 8 defenders have standing.  Then Perry v. Schwarzenegger case will proceed with three judges making the decision on whether or not Prop 8 is constitutional.

No matter how they rule, the case is most certainly on its way to the U.S. Supreme Court and it matters not just to California, but to the entire country.  To read an analysis of the import and impact of Perry v. Schwarzenegger, go here.