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Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

Reader Poll: “Have your children ever said they’ve experienced a negative response from a school teacher or administrator for opposing same-sex behavior?”

In Homosexuality, Polls, Religious Freedom, Same-Sex Marriage on September 29, 2011 at 11:59 am

Here’s the question we asked UFI readers:

“Have your children ever said they’ve experienced a negative response from a school teacher or administrator for opposing same-sex behavior?”

Here is how UFI readers responded:

63 Percent                           Yes

30 Percent                           No

7 Percent                             My children are home schooled 

We came to ask this question because of a disturbing story out of Texas where a 14 year old student was punished by a teacher for stating to a friend that he opposed homosexual behavior.   We wondered how often that or similar things are being repeated.

It appears that the majority of our readers and their children have had to deal with similar affronts.  The good news is that the teacher in Texas has been placed on administrative leave for his actions and the school district is doing a full investigation.  Let’s hope that the teacher is held accountable for his actions and that a message is clearly sent to all that such bullying by teachers and leaders will not be tolerated.

If your student is experiencing such overt oppression by a school teacher or administration, it is critical that you not allow these episodes to go unanswered.   There are legal groups that are able and will step in to give you counsel and legal aid; groups such as Alliance Defense Fund and Liberty Counsel.    If you live in California, there is the Pacific Justice Institute as well.

The only way to stop this encroachment of homosexual advocates and activists upon free speech and religious freedoms is to stand up and speak out.   Please have a discussion with your children and make them aware that they do have options and that they do not have to remain a victim of other people’s intolerance.

Are Working Moms Happier?

In Families, Feminism, motherhood, Values, Women's Rights on September 26, 2011 at 5:43 pm

by Rachel Allison

The title “Why Working Moms Are Happier” was a taunt that caught my attention.  The article by Laurie Tarkan first suggests that “women who believe they can do it all—the successful career, the clean house, a home-cooked meal every night—may be more unhappy than working women who assume that they can’t be a supermom, according to a new study.”

This “study” found that “those who as young adults consistently agreed with the notion that women could successfully combine employment and family care—were at a higher risk for depression compared with working moms who felt it would be difficult for women to raise a family while working.

I don’t have a problem with these findings.  My husband reminds me periodically that “the discontent we feel comes when our expectations are too high and as a result, are not realized. This “study” states the obvious. Working women who have faced reality by recognizing the time and energy commitment a career takes from home and family are simply being realistic.

Several years ago my sister-in-law asked that I substitute for her at the local high school while she attended to some serious family matters.  My children were all in school and so I agreed to help her out.  I would be working 29 hours a week. My first thoughts were, (just like the young adults in the study,) “I can keep up with everything and everybody and still work 29 hours at the local high school.”  I quickly recognized that I was wrong.  And do you know what hurt most?  Not my home.  I was determined to keep it clean and orderly.  Not my meals.  I became a “crock-pot diva.”  What hurt was my one on one time with my children.  It was the precious reading time we had spent together around the breakfast table…So after several months of this time commitment, I was thrilled to return to full-time mom and homemaker.

The section of the “study” I take issue with? “ Working moms had lower levels of depression than stay-at-home moms, but Ms. Tarkan’s silence on the “why” is what concerned me…and so I read other studies on this topic.

The why? One study suggests, “Women who stay at home are more isolated.  They don’t have the adult stimulation they would at the workplace.  They don’t have to get dressed and get out of the house.  Being confined to the same four walls day in and day out can have negative effects”…the key to beating the doldrums in this second study is that we all need “BALANCE.”  This balance is certainly attainable for those who choose to be stay-at-home moms.  In fact, balance may be more easily reached because stay-at-home moms set their own schedule.  It takes self-discipline and planning, but as we rise to the level of “Home and Family CEO” the challenges and rewards are exciting and innumerable.  Children make demands of our time, but so do bosses. Housework can be time consuming, but so can work projects.

No matter what course a woman chooses, we would do well to remember the importance of creativity and the need for growth.  Because stay-at-home Moms have more flexibility with their schedules, they may have more opportunity to pursue personal interests. They can take a class at the local community college.  They can get involved in politics, PTA, local charities, and musical presentations.  I have seen young stay-at-home moms organize and orchestrate neighborhood theatrical productions for the children who are out of school for summer break.  The possibilities are endless…and the rewards are invaluable.

All three of my daughters are stay-at-home moms.  One has taught herself photography, and has built up a little part-time business. It doesn’t take up much of her time, and she loves it.  Another daughter played college volleyball. She organizes volleyball clinics once or twice a year for the young girls in her neighborhood.  She looks forward to sharing her passion with these athlete wannabes. The third is actively involved in her neighborhood homeowner’s association and has made friends with most of the homeowners in her neighborhood. Plus she’s very involved in local politics.  Are they depressed?   They don’t have time to be depressed.

Ms. Tarkan states, “One heartening piece of news is that no matter how guilty you feel or how insurmountable your tasks seem, working is good for your mental health.” I agree!  But the work that I consider good for mental health is cleaning and organizing a closet, painting an old piece of furniture, sewing a costume, or planting a garden…and guess what?  No guilt!

Reader Poll: If financially possible, is it your intent to leave your children an inheritance?

In Families, Parenting, Polls on September 23, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Here’s the question put to UFI readers:

“If financially possible, is it your intent to leave your children an inheritance?”

Here’s how they responded:

94 percent           Yes, it’s my obligation to try

6 percent             No, going to spend every penny                 

This group of UFI readers polls quite differently than the general population where just 49 percent of individuals said it was important to leave money to their children. 

This question came to our attention because of this article:  Boomers planning to take long SKI vacations.    It would seem that each generation has obligations to their children as well as to those who came before them.  We have to agree with the author of the above mentioned article.  It is quite amazing that a generation (Post-World War II), my generation, has burned through their parent’s money, their own money, and have indebted their children and their grandchildren, yet would smugly comment that they didn’t want their children to feel “entitled.”    Astounding!

 

Isn’t it time we call a spade a shovel?

In Abortion, Family Planning, Media on September 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

By Danny Quinney

I think it is important to point out that of all the contributors to this website, I’m the dumbest.  I say that, not to brag, but to let you know I’m aware of my dumbery.  I ain’t no highly educated man.  See what I mean?  I just used a double negative (seriously, what an idiot).  Despite my dumbery, I am just smart enough to recognize inconsistencies in the media.

I have always been aware of them, but when I recently read an article by Tim Groseclose, it really brought them to the forefront of my mind.  In addition to the article, Mr. Groseclose is an author of “Left Turn: How Liberal Media Bias Distorts the American Mind.”  In his article he references an essay appearing in this years August 10th edition of the New York Times magazine titled, “Two-Minus-One Pregnancy”.

Apparently an expectant mother, “after choosing not to endure the extra burden of raising twins” decides to “reduce to a singleton.”  Awwww…Isn’t that cute?  “Reduce to a singleton”, you can almost imagine skipping through a field of daisies, hugging your favorite “My Pretty Pony”, while listening to the “Care Bears Christmas”, can’t you?  The fact that the Doctor injects a long needle filled with potassium chloride into the chest of the baby, quickly killing it, the body of the baby shrivels the remainder of the pregnancy and is removed during the birth of the other twin is just a nifty little side note.

Ew.   When I say it like that it isn’t really nifty at all.

Hmmmm?

Mr. Groseclose then goes on to show how the media uses cute and fluffy words to describe things that aren’t so pleasant about abortion (Mr. Groseclose, of course, never used the words “cute” and “fluffy” – those are my contributions – remember I’m trying to dummy things down here).  He explains his book, “contains a systematic statistical analysis to document the bias in the abortion language of journalists”.  Now, to be fair, I’m really not sure what any of those words mean.  But I do know that in my lifetime we have gone from “Deaf” to “The Hearing Impaired”,   “Prisoner” to “Correctional Faculties Inmate”, and “Stewardess” to “Flight attendant”.  Honestly, it has to stop. Especially from the media.  The Elderly aren’t “Chronologically Advanced”, the Dead aren’t “Living Impaired”, an Abortion isn’t a “Near-Life Experience” and I am not “Fecally Plenary” (full of crap).

Mr. Groseclose closes his article by saying, “No matter what one’s view on abortion, one can’t deny that “twin reduction” and partial-birth abortion involve gruesome and ghastly procedures. It’s time that the media—when describing these procedures, as well as abortion policy in general—began using more direct and accurate language.”

Brilliant.

I’ll end my article like this:  Mary Poppins was right.  A spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down.  But as a society we have been force fed sugar for too long.  I, for one, am sugared out.  Can’t the media realize once and for all that we are all grown ups?  We can handle big people words.  Isn’t it time we call a spade a shovel?

I Made a Difference – and So Can You!

In Families, Pornography on September 21, 2011 at 10:57 am

By Grace Sailor

You might remember a couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog titled, “Why Am I Watching Pornography at My Favorite Restaurant?” I detailed my disappointing experience of going into my favorite local restaurant to find a new video playing in the restaurant that showed girls in G-string bikinis, and even went as far as to zoom up on the ‘buttocks’ area for close up shots. I was mortified and shocked that this was being shown at a restaurant that is mostly frequented by adult women and families. I was maddened not only at the restaurant – but at the world for invading what I considered a safe place for my family. Are there not any safe places anymore to take our families without seeing inappropriate material?

I drove right home from the restaurant that day and fired off an email to the main corporation not only expressing my disappointment in regards to the situation, but warned that if the video was not changed out that I would feel obligated to publish blogs and reports alerting families about the footage and petition patrons to not eat at the restaurant.

Within a couple of days, I received an email from the corporation stating that they were as shocked about the video as I was and that what was being shown at this particular franchise was not corporate approved. The corporate office mandated that the franchise switch out the footage immediately for a corporate approved ‘family friendly’ video. Since then, I have received another email confirming that the video was switched along with a thank you note and a coupon for a free meal!

I could have chosen to keep my frustration to myself and just choose not to eat at the restaurant anymore – but by taking a stand, it made a difference. Now, individuals and families can eat at the restaurant without being exposed to pornography as they wait for their food. I feel like in general we are losing the battle against pornography – but this battle we won!

If I can make a difference – so can you! We just need to be willing to speak up and say “I have had enough”!

Who is being Sacrificed for What?

In Cohabitation, Families, Marriage, Parenting, The Family, UN, Values on September 20, 2011 at 4:31 pm

by Rachel Allison

A recent study issued by the UN arm UNICEF paints Swedish parents as pillars of commendable restraint because they undermine materialism by not purchasing toys and gifts for their children.  UNICEF throws out accolades as if the limiting of commercialism is the one and only dimension that makes any parent worthy of praise.

By focusing only on materialism as a determinant,  other key factors influencing a child’s well-being are omitted.

For example, David Quinn, a well-known Irish journalist has written recently that the Swedish state has completely stripped marriage of any special standing in Swedish society.  This is one reason why Sweden has such a low marriage rate, a very high rate of cohabitation, and a very high rate of births outside marriage…more than one in two of all births.

Mr. Quinn suggests that this factor impacts the children more significantly than society is willing to admit.

In 2007 UNICEF was forced to admit that “there is evidence to associate growing up in single-parent families and stepfamilies with greater risk to well-being—including a greater risk of dropping out of school, of leaving home early, poorer health, or low skills and of low pay.”

Given these findings about the family breakdown in Sweden, are we to believe that simple materialistic self- restraint produces happy, productive, well adjusted children?

The best parents are those who always do that which is best for the child.  Perhaps that “best” is saying “No, we can’t afford it.”  Or, “You have to practice the piano before going out to play with your friends,” Or “before you can watch television, you have to do your homework.”  Parents who take their disagreements into the privacy of the den and out of their children’s ear shot are also doing what is best for their children.  AND this much is certain.  The best for every child is that a man and woman who court and fall in love get married,  demonstrating a long-term commitment to each other and the children who bless their home.

Pointing out further damaging behavior in May, Jonas Himmelstrand told the Iona Institute Conference on “Women, Home and Work” that the vast majority of Swedish children are put in day-care from the age of one.  Himmelstrand points to evidence that this has more of a detrimental effect on Swedish children than UNICEF or Swedish parents want to admit.  For example, the educational performance of Swedish children has slipped from near the top to just average.

The number of children reporting psychological problems is growing at a faster rate than in eleven comparable countries.  According to one study Himmelstrand cites Sweden as having the most serious school discipline problems in Europe today.  He quotes an EU-sponsored study by Swedish school researcher Britta Johansson who describes the growing difficulties Swedish parents face raising their kids.

We could delve further into what is happening in Sweden, but so much of what we read describes exactly what is starting to be the trend all over the world.  We certainly are experiencing it in many areas of the United States.

I have heard it said that “years ago men and women sacrificed having “things” for their children, but more and more we see children today being sacrificed so that parents can have their “things.”

Myth Buster Monday: Are the majority of Americans “pro-choice” or pro-life?

In Abortion, Myth Buster on September 19, 2011 at 9:58 pm

A debate has been raging over a CNN Poll that asked this question:  “Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances or illegal in all circumstances?” 

Abortion rights advocates say the poll results confirm that Americans overwhelmingly favor abortion. Pro-life advocates say the same poll shows that the majority of Americans oppose abortion.  So which is it?  Guess it depends on what you mean when you say you support abortion.

Here are the CNN Poll numbers:  25 percent said abortion should be legal under any circumstances, compared to 21 percent that said abortion should be illegal in all circumstances.  With a sampling error margin of plus or minus three percentage points, those two groups are in a statistical dead heat.

Now here’s where it starts to turn into a gray area:  53 percent of poll respondents say that abortion should be “legal under only certain circumstances.”   Many people consider themselves to be strongly pro-life but will make exceptions in the case of rape, incest or life of the mother; those individuals would end up as part of that 53 percent.    The 53 percent number is being widely touted by abortion rights advocates as being part of a 78 percent majority who are “pro-choice” (25% + 53%).

What the pro-abortion advocates fail to mention is that CNN asked a follow-up poll question.  Here, accordingly to LifeNews:

When asked, “Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances, legal in a few circumstances or illegal in all circumstances? ” CNN found the same 25 percent and 21 percent want either all abortions legal or all illegal. But, breaking down that 53 percent group further, CNN shows just 12 percent want abortions legal in most circumstances while 41 percent want most abortions to be made illegal.

In total, 62 percent of Americans want all or most abortions to be prohibited while only 37 percent of Americans want all or most abortions kept legal.

So when you read a headline like “New CNN Poll Find American Remains Steadfastly Pro-Choice,” you’ll know which side is not telling the whole story.

Reader Poll: “Have you had your teen vaccinated against HPV – a sexually transmitted disease?”

In Abstinence, Parental Rights, Polls on September 16, 2011 at 10:27 am

Here’s the question we asked our readers: 

Have you had your teen vaccinated against HPV – a sexually transmitted disease?”

Here is how readers responded:

6  Percent                    Yes

9  Percent                    No, but plan to

3  Percent                    Never heard of it

82 Percent                   No, never will

This question is part of the broader dialogue on the HPV vaccine that has risen to the top of the media cycle because of exchanges during a presidential candidate debate.

No matter your opinion on the vaccine itself, it should be agreed that a disease that is spread via sexual contact is not the same as a communicable disease that is readily spread via casual contact or is airborne.  It is the opinion of United Families that a state mandate requiring this particular vaccination for adolescents is over-stepping.   Parents are the ones that should be making those decisions regarding their children, not government.

Video: Humane Humanity

In Abortion on September 14, 2011 at 2:48 pm

“Life.  Protect it.  Respect it.”  So ends a well-crafted video produced by Virtue Media.

On this 10th Anniversary of 9/11, we are reminded about what happens when people begin thinking of others as less than human.

The Real Power of Family Work

In Child Development, Families, father, motherhood, Parenting, The Family on September 13, 2011 at 4:54 pm

by Rachel Allison
An article I read many years ago still remains embedded in my memory. At the time of reading I was in need of the philosophy it espoused to support my efforts in getting my children involved in family work projects.

Prior to reading I sometimes doubted myself, and wondered if I was over reaching when I asked my children to help trim trees, haul rock, paint walls, or plant and weed gardens.

The article was entitled “Family Work” and it took the reader through the history of work and its purpose.  It began with the biblical reference of Adam and Eve.

“Family work actually began with Adam and Eve.  As best we can discern, they lived a life of relative ease in the Garden of Eden…There were no weeds, and Adam and Eve had no children to prod or cajole into watering or harvesting, if such tasks needed to be done…When they exercised their agency and partook of the fruit, Adam and Eve left their peaceful and labor-free existence and began one of hard work.  They were each given a specific area of responsibility, yet they helped each other in their labors.”

“Traditionally, many have considered this need to labor as a curse, but a close reading of the account suggests otherwise.  God did not curse Adam; He cursed the ground to bring forth thorns and thistles, with in turn forced Adam to labor.  And Adam was told, “Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake.”  In other words, the hard work of eating one’s bread “by the sweat of thy face” was meant to be a blessing.”

This general pattern of hard labor has remained dominant among many peoples of the earth, including families who lived in the United States at the turn of the last century.  Mothers and fathers, teenagers and young children cared for their land, their animals, and for each other with their own hands.  Their work was difficult, and it filled almost every day of their lives.  But they recognized their family work as essential, and it was not without its compensations.  It was social and was often carried out at a relaxed pace and in a playful spirit. Children shared much of the hard work, laboring alongside their fathers and mothers in the house and on the farm or in a family business.  This work was considered good for them—part of their education for adulthood. Children were expected to learn all things necessary for a good life by precept and example, and it was assumed that the lives of the adults surrounding them would be worthy of imitation.

By the turn of the twentieth century, many fathers began to earn a living away from the farm and the household.  Thus, they no longer worked side by side with their children.  In today’s world, it is not uncommon to find both father and mother out of the home for considerable parts of each day.

The wrenching apart of work and home-life has resulted in consequences that can hardly be overestimated.  The results are ever apparent, as too many children and youth cannot work, do not want to work, and expect parents and society to take care of their wants and needs.

Unfortunately, there are voices that tell women that unless they are childless and marketable in the work force, they are oppressed and living beneath their capabilities.  These same voices espouse the idea that because money is power, one’s salary is the true indication of one’s worth. And that the important work of the world is visible and takes place in the public sphere.

Others have tried to convince us of the importance of family work by calling attention to its economic value, declaring, as in one recent study, that a stay-at-home mom’s work is worth more than half a million dollars.

Should we not be concerned with those who see the value of family work only in terms of economic value?  More important than money is the family building and character development that takes place in homes where families work side by side.  Here lies the real power of family work—its potential to transform lives, to forge strong families, and to build strong communities.

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