How to Raise the IQ of your Community and Nation

Want to raise the IQ of the children of your community and your nation?   Encourage fathers to live with their children and be actively engaged in their lives.  The Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science recently released a study that joins with a multitude of other studies that point to the importance of fathers as a main ingredient in successful outcomes for children.   This time the study looked specifically at IQ and behavior.

Here’s some of what it had to say:

For both boys and girls, fathers’ positive parental control predicted higher Performance IQ and fewer internalizing problems over six years later. These findings add to the increasing body of literature suggesting that fathers make important contributions to their children’s cognitive and behavioural functioning, and point to the benefits of developing policies that encourage fathers to spend time with their children…

The study acknowledges the myriad of problems associated with single parent homes – over 90 percent of them headed by mothers – and the study also points out “that fathers’ presence in middle childhood and early control might be important for children’s later cognitive and behavioural functioning for reasons other than fathers’ income contribution to the family, even among socioeconomically at-risk families.” 

In other words, fathers contribute far more than just a paycheck.

It would seem that if governments were interested in having students who are better behaved – not to mention having higher IQs – they would promote stable man/woman marriage and engaged fatherhood.  Why is it that the most obvious solutions are the ones that are so often ignored.

To read more on the study, go here.

Protect your family: Have some food stored

By Danny Quinney  (Guest blogger)

So I was talking to a couple of co-workers at lunch recently about the crazy economy, the Middle East, our governments OUT OF CONTROL spending, and the hurricanes brewing off the east coast.  In the conversation one of them says, “I’m glad I have a barrel of wheat in my basement”.

“Wheat?”  I asked him, “you just have wheat?”  He replied, “Weelllll, not JUST wheat, we have some powdered milk and honey too.  We are totally prepared”.

I turned to the other guy with a questioning look.  He said he doesn’t have any food storage.  His budget wouldn’t allow it.

In that minute I had confirmation of what I had always suspected.

ALL MY CO-WORKERS AREN’T VERY SMART.

What does any of this have to do with United Families International (UFI)?   EVERYTHING.  UFI spends a lot of time and ink on helping us understand how to protect our families.   You won’t be doing much “protecting” if your family is starving.

Doomsday?

Now, I’m not a “dooms-dayer”.  Well, not an “over the top” dooms-dayer.  I don’t own my own radiation suit, and I have never taken courses on “Apocalyptic hand-to-hand combat”, and I wouldn’t know where to start in gutting an animal.  But I do understand our society is soooooo very dependent on certain services.  If there was a disruption in food distribution, power, or water for any extended period of time it would be a NIGHTMARE.   It could be a terrorist attack, or a natural disaster.  It wouldn’t take long for many people to become uncivil.  Look at what happened in England just recently.  Now in your mind add hunger to it.  Like I said, it would be a NIGHTMARE.  The point is you have to able to sustain yourself and your family.

Of my two friends “Wheat boy” will do better if and when TSFTF (the $#%^ hits the fan) than “Tight budget-boy”, but if “Wheat boy” gave it one minute of thought he would know you can’t go from microwave pizzas, every night, to chewing on raw wheat (when I asked, he said he wasn’t sure how to prepare wheat – he said he would grind it with a rock.   When asked if he knows how to make bread, he said, “No”).  Guess what “Wheat boy” your body won’t stand for it.  You will get really sick.

What if “TSFTF” never happens?  All I can say is “WHEW”.  I hope it doesn’t!!   I’m still glad I have food storage.  What if we have hyper-inflation?  What if you lose your job?  What if your neighbors need food?  In the worst case scenario wouldn’t it be nice to have a hedge between microwave pizzas and grinding wheat on the sidewalk?

What might you do?

Some say you should have a year’s supply of food.  That’s not bad advice.  I know in some countries it is illegal to store food.  I don’t understand the reasons behind these repressive laws, and I’m certainly not advocating breaking them.  I do suggest you store as much as you legally can.

Do I have years supply of food?  Not even close.  I think it is a less-then-clever idea not to have something squirreled away.  A bag of rice and some canned soup is a good start.

What I do in addition to the occasional bag of rice, bucket of wheat and canned goods, is save up and every once in a while I purchase one of those pails of freeze dried food.  I have never actually tried them.  And I hope I never have to.  Those would be used to break up the monotony of beans and rice.  We also own a wheat grinder, have a bread maker, and we have a small garden.  At least we know some of the basics.  Every once in a while we will take an empty 2 liter bottle of soda, fill it up with water and put it in the back of a closet somewhere.  We don’t have enough to go frolicking in our yard having a water fight, but at least we have something (this may have been the first time I have ever used “frolicking” in a sentence before). Anyway, that’s what I do.  Find something that is right for you.

Honestly, let me tell you, there is NOTHING more satisfying then when you look at your little stash of food and know, no matter what happens, you can at least feed yourself and your family.

Russia: Demographic Crisis

“Mother Russia” is experiencing an unprecedented decline in population.  In the last 20 years, it is estimated that an astounding 80 million unborn Russian children have been aborted.  On average, a Russian woman over the course of her reproductive life will have seven abortions.

Combing that high abortion rate with a fertility rate of 1.2 (a fertility rate of 2.1 is needed for replacement of population), Russia stands to lose over one-third of its population every generation.   “We’re losing almost three quarters of a million people every year,” said Alexey Komov, chairman of the Moscow Demographic Summit that was held this last June.

The video below, by Population Research Institute, gives an excellent overview of the demographic problem and some insight into Russian history and culture.  It notes the ways that Russia is attempting to reverse the decline – albeit not very successfully.

For example, in 2003 President Vladimir Putin put in place a $9,000 “baby bonus” to encourage couples to have children.  This video tells of a Russian bank that is currently offering a 0.5 discount in mortgage rates to families for each child born.  All valiant attempts, but history has shown that is extremely difficult – if not impossible – to reverse this type of demographic decline.

“Ultimately it’s a matter of faith and spirit that determines how many children people decide to have,” said Phillip Longman, lecturer and author of The Empty Cradle:  How Falling Birthrates Threaten World Prosperity.  “That’s not something the government can really do. That’s something society can do.”

We would add it is something that society must do.

 

Reader Poll: “Should Wiccan holidays be added to school calendars?”

Here’s the question we asked our readers:

“Should Wiccan holidays be added to school calendars alongside of other religious holidays (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc.)?”

Here is how UFI readers responded:

3 Percent                             “Yes”

97 Percent                           “No”

This news article, Wiccan days included on Tennessee university calendar, prompted us to pose this question.  This is an interesting and loaded question for pro-family/conservative individuals.  There clearly was a unified response to the question:  “No, Wiccan/pagan holidays should not be added to school calendars.”  But, we at United Families have to disagree with the overwhelming consensus.

We are absolutely not supporters of Wicca or other forms of paganism.   We deal with them regularly at the UN.  But if you state that you are a supporter of religious freedom, something United Families does actively support, it is difficult to be consistent in your position and then deny other religious groups the same freedoms and opportunities.

As one blogger stated:  

“I love it when people profess to love freedom of religion, and then talk about how the principle is being taken too far.”

The only other option that we can see for a school calendar, when other religions have asked for their holidays to be included, is to include no holidays on the calendar.  But we are open to be convinced otherwise.

Write to us and tell us what you think on this topic.

 

Does Parenting Style Really Matter?

By Grace Sailor

Parenting style does matter and can affect the child’s self-esteem, cognitive abilities, social skills, feelings, and other various attributes. As a mother, I have always struggled with what is the right way to raise emotionally and socially healthy children?   Among many questions is the fundamental question:  “Should I be strict and let them know who is in charge?  Or, should I be lenient so that they know that I love them? “

According to studies, the answer to those questions is in somewhere in the middle. “Many researchers have documented the positive effects on children raised by parents who are warm and affectionate and who set consistent, reasonable rules for their children, as opposed to those who have in a punitive or aloof manner.”

The graph below shows the four most common parenting styles used. Of the four styles, the authoritative style which is based on warm and nurturing interactions in combination with encouraging independence, but with limits and emphasizing open communication between child and parent is more likely to produce emotionally and socially healthy children.

Take a look and see where your parenting style falls.

Parenting Style	Characteristics	Effects on Children
Authoritarian	Restrictive, punitive style; sets firm limits and encourages effort, few verbal exchanges allowed.	Average social, cognitive, competencies, fearful, unhappy, vulnerable to stress.
Permissive Indulgent	Very involved in child’s live; few demands placed on child; lax control: allows freedom of expression, encourages creativity, confidence	Low self-control; difficulty focusing own behavior, expect to get their own way; poor social, cognitive competencies; not popular with others.
Permissive Indifferent	Very involved with child; few demands placed on child; lax control; allows freedom of expression and impulses.	Low self-control; poor social, cognitive competencies; rebellious, impulsive, aggressive
**Authoritative**	Warm, nurturing, accepting, encourages independence, but with limits; verbal exchanges using negotiating, compromise, and reason also encouraged; responsive to needs of child	High social; cognitive competencies; cope well with stress;  curious, self-controlled, cooperative with adults, energetic, friendly, self-reliant

*Human Behavior in the Social Environment – a Multidemsional Perspective by Jose B. Ashford, Craig Winston LeCroy, Kathy L. Lortie

“Successful Family:” What is it and what’s it Worth?

By Rachel Allison

The successful family is a relative term, but I think we all recognize it when we see or experience it.

My definition of a successful family:  Everyone knows they are loved and valued.  All recognize their importance in the family.  Children are taught values that encourage selflessness and service.  Work is valued, and all are taught self-reliance.

My husband’s list is much more simple.  Our children can all quote their father’s oft-repeated counsel, “You can be many things, but true success comes from being “obedient, hardworking, honest, and kind.”

Some may judge the success or failure of a family by the way they all get along, however, I have read from several sources that the number of arguments in a family doesn’t necessarily determine the love and functionality of that family.  Rather the time it takes to resolve conflict and restore good feelings is a strong determinate.

Much to the chagrin of my dear mother I remember that a few of our sibling conflicts ended in bloody lips or noses.  I determined I wouldn’t allow my children’s disagreements to ever reach that level.  My solution?  When I recognized that the argument was reaching a level that could cause emotional or physical injury, I stepped in and always reminded the combatants that if they had the energy to fight they had the energy to work.  It only took weeding a flowerbed or cleaning a bathroom once or twice… after that it was amazing how quickly arguments could be resolved.  If my children learned to resolve conflict quickly, and without grudge or resentment…that is success.

Each mother and father must determine what a successful family is, and just what they are willing to sacrifice to obtain it.  Staying focused on that vision every day, and then working, communicating, loving and praying our way through the bumps and lumps of life, we will be much more likely to have the family we desire.  If we as parents have determined that vision of success wisely, it will be more rewarding than any other success we will achieve in our lives

 

Normalizing Pedophilia

By Danny Quinney

Several years ago I was driving home and passed a neighborhood I pass every day.  It is backed away about 75 yards, semi-secluded, from a very busy street.  I was rounding the corner on this busy street and saw a child, no more than three years old, on a corner.  There wasn’t a parent in sight.  I quickly went through the options in my mind.  Do I keep driving and hope the kid doesn’t get struck or abducted, do I stop, put the kid in my car, or walk with the child and try to find his home?

Being a man, and a father, I immediately knew I wasn’t going to allow the child to come near my car.  I also knew I wouldn’t be thrilled if I saw someone I didn’t know walking up my street with my child.  So I figured I would tell the kid to go home.  I pulled over, rolled down the passenger side window, and kindly said, “You need to go home”.  The kid looked up at me, with snot running down his binky.  “Go home”, I said again, “You need to go home”.  I received a blank stare.  “Your Mom wants you to go home.  Go home”.  Nothing.  So I switched tactics.  I furrowed my brow and yelled, “GO HOME RIGHT NOW!!!”  The child let out a wail, turned around and went crying home.

So, I hear you asking, what’s your point?

Earlier this month (August 17, 2011) there was a Baltimore conference aiming to “normalize” pedophilia.  Oh, you read correctly.  A conference to “normalize” pedophilia – a conference!  That means more than just Pervy McPervertson  and his cousin Sicky McSickyson were in attendance.  I’m talking a group of some of the “best and brightest” researchers from several prominent U.S. universities were there as well.  What was the goal of this conference? Well, according to the sponsoring organization’s (B4U-ACT) website they want to discuss ways to revise of the American Psychological Association (APA) classification of pedophilia.

Why?

How it works is these groups of pedophiles (it makes me wonder how they initially meet) sponsor meetings with members of the APA, to persuade them to redefine or remove “several long-recognized categories of mental illness” from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

According to Linda Ames Nicolosi, publications director of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH):

 “Normalizing” pedophilia would have enormous implications, especially since civil laws closely follow the scientific community on social-moral matters”, she continued, “If pedophilia is deemed normal by psychiatrists, then how it can remain illegal?  It will be a tough fight to prove in the courts that it should still be against the law.”

 Sadly this kind of advocacy isn’t new.  Years ago similar groups tried to “normalize” pedophilia by calling it “intergenerational sex”, arguing there was nothing wrong with it as long as the adult involved with the child/children was not an “authority figure”.

I KNOW!!!  The first time I heard that I rolled my eyes so hard I fell out of my chair!

And thus, the point of my story.  EVERY child considers an adult an “Authority Figure”.  I barely flexed my “authority figure” muscle and scared a child into running home.  Any adult can scare or manipulate children.  We need to make sure parents are aware of this agenda and take steps to make sure their plans don’t get a foot hold.

To listen to an interview with Matt Barber, Vice President of Liberty Counsel Action, who was in attendance at the B4U-ACT conference of pedophiles, go here.

Broken societies need strong families – Ask Britain!

By Rachel Allison

The response of British prime minister David Cameron to the recent riots and vandalism in his country made me shout “Hallalujah!…Finally!!!”

Cameron states that his government is determined to mend the UK’s “broken society”. In a landmark speech he described Britain as a country teetering on the brink of moral collapse:

“Do we have the determination to confront the slow-motion moral collapse that has taken place in parts of our country these past few generations? Irresponsibility. Selfishness. Behaving as if your choices have no consequences. Children without fathers. Schools without discipline. Reward without effort.

“Crime without punishment. Rights without responsibilities. Communities without control. Some of the worst aspects of human nature tolerated, indulged – sometimes even incentivised – by a state and its agencies that in parts have become literally de-moralised… We must fight back against the attitudes and assumptions that have brought parts of our society to this shocking state.”

The solution to the problem, says Cameron, is families: “So if we want to have any hope of mending our broken society, family and parenting is where we’ve got to start.”

 For years we have bought into the Feminist and Hollywood rhetoric of selfishness and amorality.  And where have we felt the pain most significantly? That vital and most important part of our lives…the family.

The pendulum has swung too far out of bounds, and it’s time to wake up the mothers and fathers of the world.  Get off the couches. Turn off the television, and anything else that is keeping us from clueing in to our children.  They desperately need us to teach and guide and give them tools for true successful living. Lets teach them responsibility by being responsible.  Let’s teach them selflessness by being selfless.  Example! Example! Example!!!

We need to help them understand that consequences have always and will always be a part of life.  Choose wisely or be ready for some heart break at the least or at its worst a shattered and wasted life.

Prime Minister Cameron is shouting to the world the power and significance of devoted mothers and fathers.  If we cannot draw from positive experiences with our own parents we need to study, observe, and pray to become the parents and grandparents that our families are desperately needing in this broken society and broken world.

Please, please Prime Minister Cameron, continue to lead out in this revolution to help save the family and the world!

Reader Poll: “Is Euthanasia going to be culturally and politically promoted as a solution to aging and overburdened social programs?”

We asked our readers this question:

“Do you think that “‘duty to die” and euthanasia may eventually be culturally and politically promoted as a solution for the overburdened social programs caused by an abundance of aging baby boomers?”

Here’s how they responded:

Never Happen             7 Percent

Yes, it will happen       89 Percent

We sure hope that our readers are wrong, but we fear they are not going to be.  Demographic projections are quite clear – there aren’t enough children being born to continue to support the social programs currently in place for the aging population, particularly the large group of individuals commonly known as the “baby boom generation.”

Which brings us to another question:  United Families was contacted by a man who told us that the term “baby boomers” is derogatory and we shouldn’t ever be using that term.  We were quite surprised; we weren’t aware of a negative connotation associated with the term.  So we ask you:  “In your mind and experience, is the title “baby boom generation” a negative term?”   Respond and let us know!

The Tragedy of Technology

by Rachel Allison

In today’s world of fascination with iPhones, iPads, iPods, computers, Internet and texting, social skills are becoming less and less evident.  But what is even more troubling is the demise of family communication.  Whether purposefully or consequentially people are shutting real live people out of their lives.  Such interaction is vital to growth, learning, support, friendship and love.

My sweet nephew was painfully shy and withdrawn.  As much as we tried to communicate with him, he wouldn’t talk to grown ups. As he grew he quickly recognized that if he plugged into his Walkman no one expected him to join in the conversation.  He always had his earphones on…it was his way of saying, “I don’t want to talk right now…I’m involved in something more important than you and what you have to say.” If someone wanted to talk to him they had to physically tug on his shirt or tap him on the shoulder because he was tuned out and disconnected from everyone. It was as if he didn’t want to interact for fear that someone would get to know the real Tim.

Last week I was at a restaurant and during the course of our meal and conversation, I noticed a father and son sit down at a table next to ours. The boy was probably nine or ten.  The father was in his late twenties or early thirties.  Neither said a word to each other the entire meal…seriously! The young boy had some sort of game boy that he was playing with between bites.  The father had his own toy, a phone that he was obsessed with.  I know it was none of my business, but it broke my heart to see the one on one time wasted between father and son.

There is definitely a time for technology.  There is also a definite time that we adults should turn it off or ignore it, and explain to our children/grandchildren just why we should focus on real people in the here and now. I have heard it said that children who are not spoken to by live and responsive adults will not learn to speak properly.  And children who are not answered will stop asking questions.  That in and of itself is a shame, but the emotional withdrawal that our society is experiencing is a tragedy.