Euthanasia: “A beautiful example”

A warm British-accented voice intones:  “A funeral took place today of an elderly couple who decided to undergo euthanasia because they couldn’t imagine a life without the other…”

In a classic example of how euthanasia is being normalized and mainstreamed, this video regarding a Belgium couple gives many of the standard talking points used to promote euthanasia.

• the ability to control not only your life, but your death
• be involved in your funeral arrangements
• no need to suffer unnecessarily
• no need to draw other people into your problems

The academic who is interviewed points out that this couple ending their lives was “an important signal breaking taboo.  So that his can be viewed as a normal way of dying and viewed that way by the community at large.”  He also acknowledges that it is happening “more and more;” noting that “non-terminal partners also have the option” to end their lives.

He then chillingly states:  “This is just a beautiful example…”

He’s right.   It is a beautiful example of a culture of death as it seeps into a society.

UFI Reader Poll: Do men earn more than women for equal work?

Here’s the question:

“Do you believe the statement “women earn only 77 percent of what men earn for equal work?”

Here is how UFI readers responded:

15 percent       Yes, and things need to change!

19 percent       Yes, but there’s more to this story.

63 percent       No, that’s baloney!

 3 percent        Don’t know

April 12^th was noted as “Equal Pay Day” by the National Committee for Pay Equity.  According to the National Organization for Women, Feminist Majority and other feminist groups this is the day is noteworthy because women have to work that far into a calendar year before they are able to earn what men already earned the year before.

But the vast majority of UFI readers aren’t buying it – including the folks who said “no, that’s baloney” and those who voted for “Yes, but there’s more to this story.”  There is definitely a lot more to the story and we’re going to be covering some of the factors that go into the calculation of the male/female wage gap.  But you’ll have to check back with us on Monday for our Myth Buster series where we’re going to address this topic at length.

Here are just a few factors:

• Women on average work fewer hours
• Women choose different professions
• Men are more willing to relocate and travel, in addition to willingness to work more dangerous and dirty jobs.

Come back on Monday to see more!

Role-play. Role-play. Role-play.

By Rachel Allison

As a mother of five children I look back and recognize that through their formative years there are things that we did right, and there are things that we did wrong.

One thing that we did right?  We role-played with our children.  When our children felt anxiety over a new situation at school, we role-played to help them feel confident.  When our children were thoughtless or unkind, we role-played to help them become more empathetic to others feelings.  When an awkward situation was handled inappropriately, we role- played to teach them social skills. When they followed the crowd unconstructively we role-played to teach them appropriate leadership skills.

Periodically we used a set of flash cards called “Smart Choices.”  We would present our children with a problem, and then discuss what the appropriate choice should be and why.

Some of the flash cards read:

You and your sister both want to shower.  You meet at the bathroom door. You:

1.  Stand aside and let your sister go first without saying anything.  You walk away and feel sorry for yourself.

2.  Push her aside and say,  “I was here first!  I’m taking my shower now, and you’ll have to wait.”

3.  Suggest you take turns.  This time you let your sister go first but next time you get to go first.

Then the flash card explained the answers.

A.  No.  You can’t be first every time, but you can expect to be first some of the time if you speak up.

B.  No.  It was a “tie,” and one person will have to be second.  Being bossy makes others less willing to cooperate.

C.  Good idea!  There should be no problem next time.

Another flash card read:

You are at a movie.  Someone behind you is talking loudly.  You:

1.  Say nothing and hope the talking stops soon.

2.  Say, “Would you please be quiet so that I can hear the movie?”

3.  Yell, “Shut up or I’m going to get the manager.”

About your answer:

A.  No.  Saying nothing will not solve the problem.  You and others can’t hear the movie when other people talk loudly.

B.  Good!  Most people will be quiet when reminded.

C.  Not a good solution.  It may make the talker angry and uncooperative.

Our children appreciated the teaching/learning moments we spent together.  If not parents who else can teach appropriate behavior?  It is our responsibility, and the memories shared are priceless.

Romance vs. Commitment – or both?

By Grace Sailor

“Choose Your Love, Love Your Choice” a simple but profound statement regarding marriage.  It also brings to mind a guest speaker in my diversity social work class while I was earning a master’s degree. The guest speaker was born and raised in India but came to the United States to earn his undergraduate and graduate college degrees. While he was in the states he said that he adapted quickly to the western culture of “romance.”

He loved the idea of being able to fall in love and not to be betrothed to your spouse from infancy, which was customary in the village he grew up in. He related his personal story of how he decided to go against his parent’s wishes to marry the girl that they had selected for him. Instead he fell in love with a classmate in college and decided to marry, only to be disappointed to find himself divorced several years later when his wife fell out of love with him. A couple of years after the divorce he returned to India and married the girl that he had been betrothed to.

The speaker related his concern of how in Western society that the emphasis on marriage was placed on love and romance and not commitment. He noted that in his culture, marriage was about commitment, and love came as a byproduct of the commitment. He said that the couple was dedicated to making a successful life together and raising children that were an asset in the community. The speaker’s comments were to help the students understand the benefits in both customs, that love and romance are important but so is commitment, and that when love and romance have waned that the commitment is still there to rekindle and maintain the relationship.

Take a look at these brief testimonial videos from the Marriage Commission and Awakening America Alliance – their message deserves much broader exposure.   In contemporary western culture, we see way too much “love and romance” and not nearly enough “commitment.”

Myth Buster Monday: Do unborn babies feel pain?

This month Oklahoma became the fourth state in the U.S. to put in place the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.”  Oklahoma joins Nebraska, Kansas, and Idaho in protecting an unborn child who is capable of feeling pain from abortion- when an unborn child reaches the gestational age of 22 weeks or more.  The pro-abortion lobby continues to vigorously oppose this type of bill, insisting that there isn’t sufficient evidence to prove that “fetuses” are capable of perceiving pain and that it will restrict a woman’s “right to choose.”  So what does the research say on fetal pain?

Let us first state that these laws provide an exemption for a woman “who has a condition which so complicates her medical condition as to necessitate the abortion of her pregnancy to avert death or to avert serious risk of substantial or irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function…”

We also note that pro-abortion advocates seem to lack the will to legally challenge these laws.  However, some pro-life legal experts believe that these laws do not serve the best interests of the unborn:

“The unstated (and certainly unintended) message that such a policy communicates is that is acceptable to kill unborn children when they are not thought to be capable of experiencing pain (or perhaps, when their pain can be prevented). That is not a message the pro-life movement wants to send.”

Examples of Research on Fetal Pain :

Pain receptors (nociceptors) are present throughout the unborn child’s entire body by no later than 20 weeks.

K.J. S. Anand and P.R, Hickey, “Pain and its effects in the human neonate and fetus,”New England Journal of Medicine 317, 21 (1987): 1321-1329.

S. Vanhalto  and O. van Nieuwenhuizen, “Fetal Pain?”  Brain & Development  22 (2000): 145-150.

L. B. Myers, et al., “Fetal endoscopic surgery: indications and anaesthetic management,” Best Practice & Research Clinical Anaesthesiology 18, 2 (2004): 231-258.

S. H. Simons and D. Tibboel, “Pain perception development and maturation,”  Seminars on Fetal and Neonatal Medicine 11 (2006):  227-231.

R. Brusseau, “Developmental Perpectives: is the Fetus Conscious?”  International Anesthesiology Clinics 46, 3 (2008):  11-23.

Nerves link these receptors to the brain’s thalamus and subcortical plate by no later than 20 weeks.

P.N. A. Van Scheltema, et. al., “Fetal Pain,”  Fetal and Maternal Medicine Review 19, 4 (2008): 311-324.

R. Gupta, et al., “Fetal surgery and anaesthetic implications,” Continuing Education in Anaesthesia, Critical Care & Pain  8, 2 (2008): 71-75.

By 8 weeks after fertilization, the unborn child reacts to touch.

V. Glover, “The fetus may feel pain from 20 weeks; The Fetal Pain Controversy,” Conscience 25, 3 (2004): 35-37.

L. B. Myers, et al., “Fetal endoscopic surgery: indications and anaesthetic management,” Best Practice & Research Clinical Anaesthesiology 18, 2 (2004): 231-258.

R. Gupta, et al., “Fetal surgery and anaesthetic implications,” Continuing Education in Anaesthesia, Critical Care & Pain  8, 2 (2008): 71-75.

After 20 weeks, the unborn child reacts to stimuli that would be recognized as painful if applied to an adult human, for example by recoiling.

C. Williams, “Framing the fetus in medical work: rituals and practices,” Social Science & Medicine 60 (2005):  2085-2095.

C. L. Lowery, et al., “Neurodevelopmental Changes of Fetal Pain,” Seminars in Pernatology 31 (2007):   275-282.

R. Gupta, et al., “Fetal surgery and anaesthetic implications,” Continuing Education in Anaesthesia, Critical Care & Pain  8, 2 (2008): 71-75.

To see more research on fetal pain, go here. 

 

 

UFI Reader Poll: Should the organ transplant community publicly refuse organs from suicides?

Here’s the question:

“Should the organ transplant community publicly refuse organs from suicides?“

Here is the UFI reader response:

62 percent          “No”

38 percent          “Yes”

 0 percent            “Unsure”

We found this question was difficult to get our brain around.  There are so many people in need of organ transplants, yet every effort must be made to not incentivize those who struggle with mental illness and might use “well, at least I can donate my organs and do some good” as another reason to justify ending their lives.

It appears that the majority of UFI readers took the “greater good” route and felt like it was more important to provide help to those desperate for organ transplants.  It is, however, worth reading Wesley J. Smith’s article were he states:

“Suicidal people need help in living, not reasons to die.  To prevent people from using the pretext of organ harvesting as a justification for their suicides, we need to make it very clear that their organs will not be so used if they decide to do the deed.  Not only might such a clarion statement by the organ community save lives, but we don’t want a society that has a utilitarian stake in the self destruction of suicidal people.”

We at United Families are leaning towards agreeing with Mr. Smith, but we recognize the other side of as well.  It’s a thought provoking question.  You can read Wesley J. Smith’s article here.

 

Inside the UN: The “West” is Obsessed with Sex

Inside the UN:  The Commission on Population and Development 2011

“The West is Obsessed with Sex” read the bold caption on a flyer handed out to UN delegates by our pro-family coalition back in 2000.  As this year’s Commission on Population and Development (CPD) unfolded, the need to resurrect that flyer became ever more evident.

With the machinations of most of the countries of the European Union,  the U.S. delegation, and their other allies from the “west,”  the original CPD draft document became swollen with references to sexual rights, human sexuality education, reproductive health services, comprehensive sex education, family planning and commodities “including male and female condoms”  and the list goes on…   At one point the draft document had at least 80 references to those topics housed in a document that had started out being just eight pages, but now stood at 22 pages.

At the same time, we were thrilled that “family-supportive” delegations (mostly from developing countries) were organized and working together beautifully so that a lot of our proposed “good” language had also made it into the draft document.   We want to report that we have never seen such organization, articulate argument, determination, and courage among these delegations – we won’t list the countries for fear we’d leave some out.  When these delegations’ efforts were mixed with the well-coordinated efforts among the pro-family NGOs to provide alternate language, talking points, research information, and general support – it was an inspiration to see and to be a part!

As the Friday deadline for completion loomed, the negotiations were moving very quickly as United Families and other pro-family groups worked furiously to craft language to temper and qualify what the opposition had proposed and added to the now “sex-saturated” draft document.   The opposition worked just as hard as we did to turn the tide of the negotiations to favor their positions.  It was very disheartening as the week progressed and the European Union negotiating bloc had broken up allowing them to have more voices to give input and monopolize the negotiation dialogue.

At one point, the maneuvering spilt out into the UN cafeteria area as International Planned Parenthood Federation and their well-funded and well-fed lobbyists and allies managed to take over the seating area and tables that the pro-life/pro-family groups had been using all week.  We thought that was a funny turn of events and chuckled as they smirked at us as we took up new tables and seating positions across the way.   We admit, however, that we were salivating over their pizza and mountains of take-out food that they ordered in for the long, ’till 3 a.m., negotiations while we used our own money and the almost-empty vending machines to satisfy our hunger.

As Friday moved closer, the sheer size of the document meant that it would probably not be completed negotiated and “consensus” reached by the end of day.  Thus the document would end up in the hands of the Chairperson or Facilitator to compile a “Chairman’s text” – something that rarely favors pro-family positions.

So how did it all turn out?

Although the document started out as one of the worst we’ve seen in years and in spite of the mountains of disastrous language that had been added, the Facilitator’s Text ended up not being what it should have been, but was not nearly as bad as it could have been.  It appeared that the strength of the pro-life/pro-family countries efforts during the negotiations held some sway with the facilitator, but not enough to win the removal of the one specific reference to “reproductive health services” (used as a euphemism for abortion).

The other reproductive rights references were tempered to some degree – including a retained reference to “in no case should abortion be promoted as a method of family planning.” It was also disheartening that five different references to “sexuality education” remained in spite of 23 countries’ objections to that type of phrase.

It must be noted that this document cannot be construed as “consensus,” but rather a compilation of wording chosen by a facilitator.  This is the third year in a row that the CPD document has been thrown to a facilitator’s text.

It was gratifying, however, to see some of our suggested language included in the text; such things as:

*    “with appropriate direction and guidance from parents and legal guardians,”
*    “with full respect for the various religious and ethical values and cultural backgrounds of its people”
*    “unethical practices regarding female infanticide and prenatal sex selection”
*    “Recognizes the rights, duties and responsibilities of parents”
*    “as well as voluntary abstinence and fidelity”

Those might seem like simple phrases, but they represent hours and hours of hard work on the part of many people and have consequence in the international arena.  That those types of phrases would be controversial at all, speaks to the anti-family forces that exert their influence within the UN system.  Suffice it to say that the opposition actively worked to have those phrases removed.  We had hoped for a paragraph regarding “family as the fundamental unit of society,” but it was not included this round.

United Families International is once again grateful to have had the opportunity to have been there to give assistance.   We’ve been shoring up pro-family policy for over 30 years – more than 15 years of that working directly within the UN system to protect the family.  Thank you for your involvement and interest in this crucial work.  We’re all in this together!  We’ll keep you posted as we approach a busy summer season of important UN meetings that have the potential to affect your family.

Say “No” to Apathy

By Carol Soelberg, President of UFI

United Families received many gratifying comments from our readers recently when we spelled out ways citizens can be involved in making a difference in the sex education curriculum in their schools.  This affirmed my belief that people are not really apathetic in regards to their community responsibilities rather they need to be informed about how to be involved!

I agreed whole heartedly with Dave Meslin’s 7 minute video presentation called “The Antidote to Apathy.”  He says people aren’t stupid, selfish or lazy.  We simply live in a world that discourages involvement by putting obstacles and barriers in our way.

These obstacles include:

1. Intentional exclusion exists because many public servants would rather make decisions for us than encourage our understanding and input.
2. We have intentionally put a price tag on freedom of expression. Our public space, i.e. billboards and such, are bought for a high price while many of the messages that need to be shared are not profitable.
3. The media focuses far more on entertainment and sports than political events and involvement.  Even when political stories are covered, rarely is information included that would direct input and involvement.
4. Many of today’s heroes are seen as “chosen” or exceptionally gifted. This leads the rest of us who are all fairly “ordinary” to assume that we haven’t much to contribute.  Meslin accurately states that, “A heroic effort is a collective effort”.  The real good that is accomplished in life involves the “collective, imperfect, voluntary” efforts and talents of many individuals.
5. Political Parties have sadly become a restatement of what marketers and pollsters  think you want to hear rather than coming up with bold creative ideas and policies that reflect and serve the good of the people.
6. And finally, the fact that charitable organizations are not allowed to advocate, means that many of the most “passionate and informed voices are kept silent especially during election time.”

Thank you Meslin for helping us all clarify some of the obstacles that hinder our involvement in the important issues of the day.  United Families International is dedicated to climbing over these obstacles and identifying ways for all who wish to be involved in making the world a better place to live by securing a future for families.

Can GLBT change their orientation?

Gay advocates are adamant:  homosexuals CANNOT change their orientation.  In fact, that notion is a foundational principle of the gay rights movement – allowing them to hitch their wagons (so to speak) to the civil rights movement.

The gay lobby will have a difficult time explaining away Sarah Allis Yang.  Ms. Yang recently gave testimony in regard to California’s SB 48 – a bill that would require all California public schools to portray homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered behavior in a positive light.  The bill requires that “gay history” be integrated into all textbooks and instructional materials.

Sarah Yang testified against the bill saying that it will  “promote gender confusion and experimentation.”  She also testifies of the harm that has come into her life because of her same-sex behavior and that change is possible; stating that “there are thousands like me.”    We wanted you to see the video so that you can also share the message:  Change is possible.   And if you live in California, speak out now against SB 48.

On-the-Scene Mothers

By Rachel Allison

“I am totally convinced that once a woman has borne a child, she owes that child herself more than anything else in the first five years of his life…

I fear that raising emotion-starved and love-starved children can produce calloused, robotized adults—people who follow the group in straight lines and do exactly what everyone else is doing because someone has said it is time.

I fear for the working mother who is deluded to believe that some kind, patient woman will tend to her child’s emotional needs until she can take over, that someone else will see that her child discovers he is unique, until she can pick him up at the end of the day—when she is perhaps so tired that the best he can hope to hear
is, ‘It’s time to go to bed.’

I fear for the future of the child whose hunger for love and recognition must be satisfied in large groups. I beg mothers to wake up, to experience the precious dawning of their child’s life with him.   Evening comes quickly—but the evening may be too late.”   Rita Chapman of Dallas, Texas, as quoted in Blueprints for Living.

As I read these words my first thoughts were, “Wow! That’s strong medicine!” But observing the disintegration that is taking place in homes and among family members today, I think that we all may need a dose of strong medicine. We may not like it, but if it helps to undo some of the damage, we should do all that we can to make a course correction.

I believe that having a mother at home during the teenage-age years is just as vital, and my personal experiences have underscored that belief. My own seventeen-year-old son had a good friend who turned on him and purposefully did everything that he could to make his life miserable. This young man even rallied “followers” to assist him. This mistreatment was unmitigated and lasted for weeks. Every lunch period my son came home from school, alone and down hearted. We ate together, and then I counseled and encouraged him. I did my best to give him the emotional
strength that he needed to face the onslaught that awaited him when he returned that afternoon.  With time, the situation gradually improved as new and better friends entered the picture, but I will always be grateful that I was available, both physically and emotionally, to help my son through a very difficult time in his life.

I have so many illustrative experiences, but I’d like to share just one more. My boys came home from high school one afternoon, dropped off their backpacks and were heading out the door when I stopped them to ask where they were going. I learned that there was going to be a fight at the neighborhood park, and they were going to watch. The first thing that went through my mind was, “What if this were my child involved in the fight?”  Of course, I had to do something — and I did. The fight was stopped before it got started, and the crowd of fifty or sixty young
spectators was dispersed. I was the only mother at the scene, and I kept my distance so that my sons were not implicated, but I was there, nevertheless, to make sure that there would be no altercation.

I must repeat myself, “A mother’s presence is vital.” The age of the child is irrelevant. We need to be actively involved; we must be tuned in, focused on their safety, their growth and their learning, especially during their teenage years. We must be available to correct the outside influences that can undo our work if we are not vigilant.

I have another quote that supports Ms. Chapman’s and my views:

“Throughout history, nations have been able to survive a multiplicity of disasters—invasions, famines, earthquakes, epidemics, and depressions, but they have never been able to survive the disintegration of the family. The family is the seedbed of economic skills, money habits, attitude toward work, and the art of financial independence. It is a stronger agency of education than the school and a stronger training ground for religion than any church. What strengthens the family strengthens the society.  If things go well with the family, life is worth living. When the family falters, life falls apart.”

-Michael Novak, “Family Out of Favor,” Harper’s Vol. 252 (April, 1976), pp. 37-40.