UFI Poll: Is a boycott of a business and effective tactic for expressing displeasure when a company engages in politics and the cultural wars?

Here’s the question:

“Is a boycott an effective strategy for expressing displeasure with a business that aggressively engages in politics and the cultural wars?”

Here are  your answers:

87 percent                          Yes, it’s effective and necessary

6  percent                            No, it’s an unethical thing to do

7 percent                             No, it’s simply ineffective

This topic was brought to mind because of the current boycott of Home Depot lead by the pro-family group American Family Association.   Home Depot has become notoriously involved in promoting the homosexual agenda.

Some say a boycott is a waste of time because it has no impact on large corporations and can actually backfire bringing positive media attention to the corporation.  Others insist that if a boycott is successful waged, it can change the way a business/corporation operates and citizens are given the power to “vote with their wallets.”   Both sides of the cultural war engage in boycotts.  Target Corporation is currently being attacked and boycotted by gay activists.   It does seem that it is a “tit for tat” type game being played.

UFI concludes that there is no choice but to be aware of the actions of corporations.  There are many consumer options so why not support those companies that are either neutral or those who espoused and support a pro-family position and traditional values.  Rest assured that those who wish to dismantle marriage and family are actively supporting those corporations who stand with them – at the very least; we need to be aware and engaged to offset that influence.

Special needs children – a beautiful gift

by  Grace Sailor

“More than 90 percent of babies diagnosed with Down Syndrome are aborted…”-ABC News

I wanted to share with you this beautiful and touching video about a brother and a special needs sister.  It captures the pure love of a sibling relationship.

When I hear of individuals aborting children with special needs, it breaks my heart. I have a brother who has Down Syndrome and he has been a miracle in not only my family’s life, but to thousands in the community. He has changed people’s lives by his loving smile and hugs. I know firsthand that raising a special needs child can be very difficult with all of the doctor’s appointments, therapies, and attendant care – but it is extremely rewarding and can bless lives more than one would ever expect.

What is wonderful is that even if a woman doesn’t want to keep the baby herself, there are many, many families who are willing to adopt special needs children. It is a beautiful gift to give to another family.

Transforming a Troubled Marriage

By Rachel Allison

Have you ever had a life-changing conversation with friends?  A conversation that blindsided you to the point where years later that conversation remains seared in your memory?  I can think of one.

Several years ago, I was having lunch with two good friends.  During our conversation, Lori began sharing with us her plan to leave her husband.  They had seven young children.  It would be an understatement to say that I was surprised.  We knew her husband.  That fact only made her announcement more unbelievable.  The second “whammy” came with Beth’s response.

She looked Lori squarely in the eyes and said, “For years I had been planning on leaving Greg as well.  I mentally documented every selfish, inconsiderate thing he had ever done.  And believe me, I had enough stored up to justify a divorce.  I promised myself that the day my youngest left home, I would leave too.”  Both Lori and I stared at her in disbelief.

“But you’re still married.  And your youngest left two years ago.”

“I know.  That’s why I’m sharing this.  Greg never knew how I felt.  He had no idea so we just kept going through the motions of being a happily married couple.  Life has a way of mellowing all of us.  Was it Greg who mellowed and became a more attentive husband, or was it I who grew up and became a more tolerant wife?  I have no idea, but putting off my decision and my announcement to leave gave us both enough time to mature and learn to appreciate and need one another.

Shortly after this conversation with Lori and Beth, I was reading a religious publication on strengthening marriage.   I would like to share parts of it simply because the advise will be useful to share with friends or family, if not now, in the future.

The article told the story of a troubled marriage.  The wife had fallen out of love with her husband.  She admitted that his long hours at work and on the golf course were partially her fault.

She realized she had two options:  to divorce or to stay in a miserable marriage.  Both options seemed wrong.  Her third choice was to stay with Mark and fall in love again. She tried for weeks, but she only met with frustration.

She turned to God in prayer…and the words that came to her were, “fix yourself!” Humbled, she prayed for guidance.  She realized that she had been cataloging only Mark’s faults, and she determined to mentally list ten positives about him each night before going to bed.  Then she began listing ten good things for every negative thought she had.  After weeks of this, things began to improve.  First, she began to realize that Mark wasn’t the jerk she thought he was.  Second, in the absence of all of her criticism, Mark started changing many of his bad habits. She began enjoying her time with him, and consequently, he started spending more time at home.

For months she had prayed every day asking to feel the love that Christ felt for Mark.  Her prayers were answered.  The love returned, and her marriage, though not perfect, is much better now.  She continues to focus on the positive…and to pray.

In my faith, we are taught that when the Spirit of Christ is present in a relationship, it will improve.  The Spirit of Christ has a way of purifying us.  I have learned through experience that there are sure ways to invite the Savior to be a part of our lives and relationships:  positive thoughts, positive words, positive actions, and selfless service.

My friend Beth personifies all of the above. Just like the woman in this story, her prayers drew down the powers of heaven and changed her and her husband, and saved her family.

Myth Buster Monday: Promoting condoms is the best way to curb the HIV/AIDs epidemic in Africa.

Condom promotion and distribution continues to be the focus of the western-style intervention in the African HIV/AIDS epidemic.  Hundreds of millions of dollars have been, and continue to be, poured into AIDS ravished countries by UNAID (the UN’s premier HIV/AIDs organization) and USAID (U.S. Agency for International Development), and numerous non-profit organizations.  Providing a “sex positive” message accompanied by “condom education” has been the preferred approach to curbing the epidemic.

So has it been effective?   The answer is an emphatic “No.”

Uganda is a classic case.  In the 1980’s Uganda’s government instituted what became known as the “ABC Prevention” program.  A = abstinence, B = be faithful (zero-grazing) and C = condoms last of all (if you’re not doing either A or B).   When the international “help” arrived with their money, they began to denigrate and dismiss the Ugandan success and began condom promotion as the focus of AIDs prevention efforts.  The prevalence of HIV/AIDs began to rise and within just a few years Uganda’s HIV/AIDs statistics began to mirror the dismal statistics for other African nations – countries who had not used an ABC approach, but had followed the “sex positive” hyper-condom-distribution model.

So what has the research shown to be effective in preventing the spread of HIV/AIDs in Africa?

• Fidelity/monogamy
• Delayed sexual debut (abstinence)
• Male circumcision

Researcher Edward C. Green in his book “Broken Promises:  How the AIDS Establishment Has Betrayed the Developing World” insists that Western ideology has led to millions of preventable AIDS deaths in Africa:

“[T]he best and the brightest in medicine and public health have led us to a global disaster of epic proportions.  In fact, we are now experience the greatest avoidable epidemic in history.”

The book “Broken Promises” is highly recommended for anyone who is interested in the nexus of politics, ideology, and science.  No, everyone should read this book to understand where a “sex supersedes all” mindset can lead.

Research showing that promoting sexual fidelity is the best approach to preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa:

D. Halperin and H. Epstein, “Concurrent Sexual Partnerships Help Explain Africa’s High HIV Prevalence: Implications for Prevention,” Lancet 363 (2004): 4-6.

Norman Hearst and Sanny Chen, “Condom Promotion for AIDS Prevention in the Developing World: Is It Working?” Studies in Family Planning 35, no. 1 (2004): 39-47.

P. Kajubi, M. R. Kamya, S. Kamya, S. Chen, W. McFarland, and N. Hearst, “Increasing Condom Use without Reducing HIV Risk: Results of a Controlled Community Trial in Uganda,” Journal of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndromes 40, no. 1 (2005): 77-82.

Deborah Watson-Jones, et al., “Risk Factors for HIV Incidence in Women Participating in an HSV Suppressive Treatment Trial in Tanzania,” AIDS 23 (2009):415-22.

James D. Shelton, et al., “Partner Reduction Is Crucial for Balanced ‘ABC’ Approach to HIV Prevention,” BMJ 328, no. 10 (April 2004): 891-93.

Stoneburner and Low-Beer, “Population-level HIV Declines and Behavioral Risk Avoidance in Uganda,”  Science, Vol. 304,  April (2004):  714-718.

G. Asiimwe-Okiror, A.A. Opio, J. Musinguzi. E. Madraa, G. Tembo, and M. Carael, “Change in Sexual Behavior and Decline in HIV Infection among Youhg Preganant Women in Urban Uganda,” AIDS 11 (1997): 1757-63.

D. T. Halperin, M. J. Steiner, M.M. Cassell, et al., “The Time Has Come for Common Ground on Preventing Sexual Transmission of HIV,” Lancet 364 (2004): 1,913-15.

J. Richens, J. Imrie, and A. Copas, “Condoms and Seat Belts:  The Parallels and the Lessons, Lancet 355, no. 9201 (2000):  400-403.

 

UFI Poll Results: Should Mothers with children be employed outside the home?

Here’s the question:

“What about mothers with children ages 0-17 being employed outside the home? “

Here was the response of UFI readers:

81 percent         “Only if absolutely no other choice”

14 percent       “Part-time is OK”

5 percent         “Should never do it”

0 percent         “Women should all be working”

“The mother at home raising her children makes a greater contribution to the economy than the father in the work place.” -Dr. Gary Becker, Nobel Prize Laureate

We knew that United Families International has an audience of readers and supporters that are very oriented to their families and to motherhood, but honestly, the numbers surprised us on this one.

The children of all of these families are very fortunate to have such committed parents who know the importance of a mother being home to rear her children.  The research certainly supports their decision.  You can go here to see just a sampling of the research that is available on the impact of a mother’s employment upon her children.

Pornography internet domain given final approval

A 10-year battle over whether to create .XXX online domain name ended last week with ICANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) announcing the formal creation of a “virtual red-light district.”  The domain .XXX now takes its place alongside .com and .org and .net   As of last summer there were 110,000 pornographers who had pre-reservations for their space on .XXX

Supporters say the domain will make it easier to filter out inappropriate content and better allow those in the pornography business to police themselves.  Stuart Lawley of ICM insists it would be a “win win situation” for the adult entertainment providers, consumers of adult entertainment, and parents who wish to protect their children from adult content on the internet.

When the idea for the domain was first discussed it was thought that pornographers would be required to solely use .XXX,  but ICANN announced early on that pornographers would be allowed to keep their .com or .net addresses.  Pornographers have now just picked up another way to peddle their “products.”

“My concern about .xxx is that it could give parents a false sense of security. True, it would be very easy to configure browsers or filters to automatically block sites designated as .xxx, but since this is a voluntary program, there would be nothing to stop adult site operators from also using .com. It would be like setting up a red-light district in a community while also allowing adult entertainment establishments to operate in residential shopping centers.”  - Larry Magid, Internet Safety Advocate

To read a detail explanation of the reasons why .XXX is dangerous and violates obscenity laws, go here.

The domain could be present on the web as early as this spring. There are an estimated 370 million porn websites on the internet which means that .XXX could become even larger than the internet domain .com

Looking for more information:  see UFI’s past posts:

Tell ICANN:  “No .XXX Domain

.XXX Domain Likely to become a Reality

14 Shocking Pornography Statistics

Casual Sex = Unhappiness

By J.J. D.

Casual and promiscuous sex rarely leads to the personal happiness and fulfillment its proponents have long promised.

The sexual revolution that swept across America in the 1960s promised that so called “free love” was an unalloyed good thing and a necessary part of personal fulfillment.  The only danger in promiscuity lay in unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.  Though this revolution may have changed the way Americans viewed premarital sex, and certainly contributed to the uninhibited view of sexual relationships portrayed on television, in movies and in other media, the argument that more casual sex somehow makes us happier and more personally fulfilled is a myth that needs debunking.

In his provocative New York Times Op-Ed, commentator Ross Douthat attempts to explain why monogamy matters.  Douthat’s analysis centers on research from sociologists Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker’s book Premarital Sex in America.  The research shows a significant correlation between sexual restraint and emotional well being in contemporary young adults and particularly women.  The happiest among those they surveyed were those in monogamous relationships..  Virgins followed closely behind on the happiness scale, while those with multiple sexual partners were more likely to experience low self-esteem, depression and instability in their marriages and sexual relationships.

These findings are hardly aberrational; researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that since the 1970s, even as women have closed the gender gap in pay and educational achievement, female happiness has declined both absolutely and relative to men. Research from the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University similarly shows a moderate drop in marital happiness since the 1970s. And sociologists are only now beginning to study the effects of widely available pornography on relationships and women’s psyche.

Lest we think that the revolution is all about adult happiness, research has also shown that children have been dramatically affected by America’s more carefree attitudes toward sex.  As many as 70% of African American 45% of Hispanic American and 35% of white American children are born into single-parent families.  These kids are more likely to live in poverty, more likely to use drugs, and more likely to become sexually active themselves at a younger age.

This research confirms what opponents of casual sexual activity understood long ago, that casual sex is not the way to happiness and personal fulfillment.  Rather, as research from Cornell University shows, those in committed relationships are generally happier then others.  The Cornell study shows that increasing levels of commitment in relationships increase levels of happiness and well-being, with married people being the happiest and most fulfilled group. The study’s author, Claire Kamp Dush reports, “Even when controlling for relationship happiness, being married is associated with higher self-esteem greater life satisfaction, greater happiness and less distress.”

In short, the mantra that casual and carefree sex is a recipe for happiness ignores the tremendous psychological effects of losing something as valuable as virtue.  As Douthot concluded, while the sexual revolution may have led to unprecedented fulfillment for some; for most, and particularly women, it has decreased levels of joy.  It is now clear that personal fulfillment is more likely to come from committed relationships where couples grow together, overcome obstacles, learn to accept each other’s weaknesses, and remain together, than it is from more “notches on the bedpost.” If our priority is to create the most happiness for the most people, our national policies should reflect this and move towards an acknowledgement that there is more danger in promoting casual sex than simply the increased occurrence of unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases.

Waiting Three Days Makes Sense

By Grace Sailor

I personally want to thank Governor Dennis Daugaard of South Dakota for the law that will take effect on July 1, that requires a 3-day wait for an abortion and is requiring proper counseling and guidance on alternative decisions to keep the fetus. Even though this doesn’t eliminate all abortions, I believe that it will prevent many.

As a social worker and personal friend of those who chose to have abortions, I see the long-term negative emotional impact it can have on a woman. I have personally never met a woman who did not regret choosing to have an abortion. That includes one of my friends who by the world’s standard is an ‘extreme liberal’. She has told me that there is not a day that has gone by that she does not regret her decision to have an abortion and that it “haunts her”. Many girls and women make quick and rash decisions based on fear and lack of knowledge in regards to other viable options, such as considering adoption.

I consider myself an advocate of women rights, but I believe that a woman’s choice is whether or not to have sexual relations. Of course, this statement is  excluding extenuating circumstances such as rape and incest. It is known that sexual relations are capable of creating a life – that is human nature!

To read the news story, go here.

*We welcome several new contributors to the United Families blog.  They will be addressing issues relevant to families and particularly mothers.*

“I can’t give up…I don’t know how.”

*We welcome several new contributors to the United Families blog.  They will be addressing issues relevant to families and particularly mothers.*

By Rachel Allison

I will always remember the phone call I received several years ago from my older sister.  She was going through several extremely difficult experiences:  a diagnosis of breast cancer for the second time, demands at work, struggles with her daughter’s choice of life style.  Life was overwhelming her.  She said that as she was driving to work, she thought, “I can’t handle all this…I’m going to give up.”  She drove a bit further and then thought, “How do I give up?” And then she started to chuckle.  ‘I can’t give up…I don’t know how.’  Our phone conversation ended with not only much encouragement from me, but also a good laugh.

My memory of that phone call still triggers memories of my mother and the attitudes of life and perseverance we learned under her tutelage.   My home life was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  My parents had eight children…all of us actively involved in all that life offered in our small farming/ranching community in southern Colorado.  My dad and four brothers worked long hard hours in the family garage and service station.

Mom and her four daughters shouldered all the housework, yard work, gardening and canning in the fall.   We worked long hard hours as well.  My parents were responsible and uncomplaining.  There wasn’t much money for anything extra, but my mom could sew anything, and my sisters and I appreciated her long, late-night hours at the sewing machine in our behalf.  It’s much easier to teach hard work and responsibility in a rural setting because there’s always so much work to do.

So when I married, and my husband and I moved to the “big city,” I was concerned just how I was going to teach my children responsibility and the satisfaction that always accompanies hard work and accomplishment.  Because work is important to me, it became important to my children.  I was taught how to work because my mom worked right along side me.  I determined to teach my children the same way.  We did dishes together. We vacuumed and dusted together. I taught them how to clean bathrooms, and how to scrub floors and baseboards the old-fashioned way…on our hands and knees so that they were really clean.

We had a garden and we had lots of trees to trim and flower beds to weed.  We washed our cars together, and we washed windows together.  I taught them how to make a bed the way my mom taught me.  (There is a right way and a wrong way, and I knew the difference.) They learned at an early age the term “elbow grease.”  They quickly learned that unless they used “elbow grease” they would probably have to do the work a second time.

To this day my children will say that we painted the outside of our house every spring break, when actually we only painted it twice.

Some of my best memories are those memories of working along side my five children.  I knew I had been somewhat successful in my efforts when my oldest son wrote home and told me how exasperated he was with his roommates.  He had just scrubbed the kitchen floor and “they walked on it while it was still wet!”

Mothering is certainly not a job for the faint hearted.  My children were not always willing participants when activities or friends promised a more exciting experience than chores or planned family work projects.  But my efforts have paid off.  I have been rewarded numberless times as I have observed each of them during life’s overwhelming demands.

It is my hope that if, or should I say “when,” my children are overwhelmed with life and their knees are beginning to buckle, they too will remember that there is no giving up… ever… not ever.  Quitting is simply not an option.  We swallow hard, we square our shoulders, we stiffen our backs,  and then we begin the really hard work of tackling the problem.  Head on… Into the storm.  No excuses.

“Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success.” D. O. McKay

Myth Buster Monday: Living together before marriage is a good idea and serves as a test of a couple’s compatibility.

You wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first, so why would you choose a marriage partner without a test drive – or so the contemporary wisdom goes.  Living together or “cohabitation” has increased by 75 percent over the last 20 years.  Yet the research continues to point to the fact that living together does not contribute positively to a successful marriage, nor is it a good situation for the children who are born into these unstable relationships.

A review of social science research reveals that cohabitation decreases a couple’s inclination to marriage and if they do marry, the chances are reduced that their marriage will be successful.  The divorce rate of men and women that cohabit is much higher than those who do not.  The longer a cohabiting couple lives together, the less likely it is that they will marry, and participation in multiple cohabiting relationships is a strong predictor of failure for future relationships.

By virtually every measure – socially, emotionally, physically, behaviorally – children living with their married parents fare better than children of cohabiting parents.   The research is there and it is quite clear that cohabitation does not contribute to good marriages or to the most successful future for children born into these relationships.  Help United Families get the word out.

Go here to see the specifics of the research and here to read answers to common questions about cohabitation.