Happy New Year! And the results of our last 2010 Poll

Thank you to all for your support during the last year.   It has been a great year and we couldn’t have done it without all of you.  Stay tune during the upcoming year as we continue to do our best to support the pro-family and pro-life cause.

By the way, in regard to our UFI poll family question on “What is your preferred season’s greeting?”

Ninety-eight percent of you prefer “Merry Christmas” over “Happy Holidays.”  Perhaps that’s not a huge surprise, but we were kind of curious.  Some cultural commentators have declared the “Christmas Wars” to be over – seems Christmas won.  Did any of you notice being greeted with more “Merry Christmas” this season?  (store greeters, cashiers, ads, people on the street, etc.)  We did.

Delaying Sex Leads to More Successful Marriages – New Study

Waiting until marriage to have sex had the strongest correlations with positive outcomes for the marital relationship concludes a new study published in the December issue of the Journal of Family Psychology. According to the study, married couples who delayed having sex were more likely to communicate, have more pleasurable sex, and see their marriages as more stable than those who had sex early on.

There is a widespread belief that having sex prior to marriage is important to ascertain if there is “sexual chemistry.”  In fact about 85 percent of Americans report having had premarital sex.  But the study offers a different perspective:  rushing into intimacy can actually impede marital success and satisfaction.  The study suggests that an early focus on sex may lead to “more brittle marriages.”

Dean M. Busby, co-author of the study, suggests that when pre-marital sex is involved “relationship inertia” propels poorly matched couples to remain together and eventually marry.   Busby cautioned that “sex is a powerful experience.  It really bonds us to one another and so it may be important before we go down that road to take the time to see if you can talk to this other person — see if you have similar personalities and similar directions in life — to see whether or not this is a relationship that can last.”

Here are a few specifics from the study.  Couples who waited until marriage benefited when compared to those who started sex early:
• Relationship stability was rated 22 percent higher

• Relationship satisfaction was rated 20 percent higher

• Sexual quality rated 15 percent better

• Communication rated 12 percent better

Benefits were half as strong for couples that were sexually involved later in the relationship but prior to marriage.

This study only confirms research that has already been done on cohabitation and its impact on successful marriages.  To see more information on this topic visit UFI’s Guide to Family Issues:  Cohabitation.

Here’s the citation for the new study:

Compatibility or restraint? The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships. Dean M. Busby, Jason S. Carroll, and Brian J. Willoughby. Journal of Family Psychology 2010; 24(6): 766-774. doi:10.1037/a0021690

 

County Officials settle out-of-court with Pro-Life Advocates, but the saga continues

Remember the members of the pro-life group that were arrested, strip searched, detained overnight, and then never charged with anything?   Officials of Harford County, Maryland, have settled out of court with the members of the pro-life group who sued for damages and maintain that not only were they mistreated, but the arrests constituted retaliation based on the content of their speech.  The City of Bel Air, Maryland and the State of Maryland have not, however, settled.   It appears the case will go to trial.

When United Families International first posted details of this story back in October, a lively conversation ensued on Facebook.  Since there appeared to be a lot of interest in this situation, we thought we’d share an update from our friends over at LifeNews.com.    To read the full story go here.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Dear Friends:

We wanted to commemorate this special time with a few of our favorite quotes:

Christmas is a necessity.  There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves. ~Eric Sevareid

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day.  We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year.  As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year.  And thus I drift along into the holidays – let them overtake me unexpectedly – waking up some find morning and suddenly saying to myself:  “Why, this is Christmas Day!” ~David Grayson

And we’ll end with our favorite:

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

We appreciate all that you do for families every day of the year, but none more than during this special time.

Merry Christmas from our homes to yours!

The Volunteers and Staff of United Families International

 

Middle America Believed the Lie

Who is more likely to marry and then bear children?   1) a young woman who got a year or two of education at a local college   2) a young woman who has a graduate degree from Berkley or Harvard?  The answer:  on average, the young woman with the graduate degree from a Berkley or a Harvard is the most likely to marry and then bear children.

“In a striking reversal of historic trends, highly-educated Americans are embracing a pro-marriage mind set as Middle Americans are losing faith in marriage,” states the press release for the 2010 edition of The State of our Unions report.  Middle America is defined as the 58 percent of adult Americans with high school diplomas and some post-secondary education, but no four-year degree.  (Thirty percent of adult Americans have at least a four-year degree.)

Relative to those who are “highly educated,” the “moderately educated” have seen a dramatic increase in out-of-wedlock child bearing, from 13 percent in 1980s to 44 percent in the 2000s (the “highly-educated” rate has increased by just 6 percent).  “[M]arital quality in middle America increasingly resembles [that] of the poor, many of whose marriages are fragile,” states the authors noting that the divorce rate for the “moderately educated” has soared as well.

As for cause of marriage’s decline in middle America, the study attributes much of this shift in attitudes to an increase in unemployment and a decrease in religious attendance.  In the 1970s, the “highly educated” were the least likely to attend religious services, now that has reversed with the most educated being the most likely to attend church weekly.

We see tremendous irony in the fact that for decades, academia… particularly the ivy league elites (and certainly the Hollywood standard bearers)…have promoted the notion that marriage is irrelevant and children don’t need to be born to stable married parents.  Well, these folks were successful in indoctrinating everyone (first the poor and now middle America) to this way of thinking; now the “trend setters” have reversed course.

They’re getting married in larger numbers, but they’ve left in their wake too many fractured lives and handicapped a future generation who will not receive the numerous benefits accrued from being raised in an intact married family.  In short, too many people believed their “aren’t we progressive; we don’t need marriage” lies.  Now society and most particularly children are paying for this devastating deception.  But that’s our take; to read the details of The State of our Unions 2010, go here.

Study examining teen female sexualization in prime-time TV.

“Duh.  They had to do a study to find that out?  Teen girls have been the prime target for sexuality since the sixties!  Finally someone notices?” was the response of a UFI reader to a listing of this new report in our UFI Weekly.  Perhaps that is the obvious reaction, but the study’s authors, Parents Television Council (PTC) had a specific goal for their special report:  “to ignite a national dialogue about the sexualization of teenage girls in the entertainment industry.”

Their goal includes bringing the dangers of early sexualization of females by the entertainment and media industry to the attention of parents, marketers, corporations, and, of course, to the entertainment moguls themselves.

The executive summary points to the past and present research by PTC that continues to demonstrate the power of media “as a highly persuasive device for delivering images and message into our homes.”  What are some of these messages?

• Models of bad behavior made to seem acceptable and normal, “frequently within a framework that is void of consequences.”
• Underage females associated with more sexual depictions than onscreen adult females.  While adult females talked more about having sexual encounters, underage girls were shown exhibiting the behavior.
• Just five percent of teen girls are depicted as having any dislike of their early sexualization.
• “Youth are growing up with a media-market version of sexuality.”

Here’s how the Parent Television Council summarizes their report:

“Results from this report show that when underage female characters appear on screen, there is:  more sexual content depicted; fewer negative responses to being sexualized; more sexual incidents occurring outside of any form of committed relationships; more female initiation in the sexualized scenes, or mutual agreement between the teen and her partner that the sexualization scene is acceptable; and less accuracy in the content rating.”

We all seem to know this huge problem exists; so let’s use this report as an opportunity and an impetus to do something about it!

To read the entire report go here.

Gifts that Endure

Giving is the very essence of Christmas and the greatest gifts in the world are all about family, for family.  As I reflect on gifts that have made a difference in my life, my thoughts turn not only to my own family, but also to what United Families International is accomplishing for families around the world.

Today, we who love and care for our families often have precious little time or resources for much else. But if we are to preserve our own families, we cannot afford to ignore the harsh reality that families everywhere are under attack, beginning at the highest international level. Noted scholar Patrick Fagan of Family Research Council warns:

“Few Americans are aware that agencies within the United Nations system are involved in a campaign to undermine the foundations of society; the two-parent married family, religions that espouse the primary importance of marriage and traditional sexual morality, and the legal and social structures that protect these institutions.”

What’s at stake

The attack on the family is waged on many levels, spearheaded by powerful and well-funded organizations. Raising the banner of “tolerance” and “rights,” they relentlessly push a shocking social agenda that includes:
*    “gay marriage” with the right of gay couples to adopt and raise children, and public school programs that promote homosexuality to children of all ages
*    abortion as a fundamental human right, universally available regardless of parental consent or knowledge
*    “sexual rights” of all children, including their access to sex education programs that promote promiscuity and homosexuality, and push the distribution of condoms
*    limitations on parental authority to teach and enforce family values, and denigration of the roles of mothers and fathers.

These attacks are especially disturbing in light of the foundational and irreplaceable role of the family throughout history. The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius–selected by historian Will Durant as the greatest thinker of all time–declared: “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order.”

This ancient truth continues to be recognized today, as for example in the constitutions of nations around the world that refer to the family as the “basis of society,” “the foundation of society,” or, using other imagery, as “the basic cell” or “basic nucleus.”   These and other interesting variations all recognize the key fact that, as expressed nearly half a century ago by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the family truly is the fundamental unit of society.

I am impressed by the insight expressed in the following words spoken by the U.S. representative to the United Nations General Assembly on the occasion of the 10th Anniversary of the International Year of the Family:

[The] “family is a universal and irreplaceable community, rooted in human nature and the basis for all societies at all times. As the cradle of life and love for each new generation, the family is the primary source of personal identity, self-esteem, and support for children. It is also the first and foremost school of life, uniquely suited to teach children integrity, character, morals, responsibility, service, and wisdom.” (UFI helped draft that language, by the way!)

What this shows is how much is at stake in the battle over the family. Impair or injure or obstruct the family, and you have jeopardized society, civilization, and everything we hold dear.

What you can do

One year on Christmas Eve, a gentleman walked into our office and, without ceremony or fanfare, handed us an envelope containing a major gift of funds. He had been deeply impressed with our work and its practical impact on children and families, and knowing that we were in need of funding, he gave. His gift was a sacrifice, and its effect has been real and powerful.

Thanks to that gift, we kept dangerous language out of UN documents that would have forced abortion upon countries around the globe. Thanks to that gift, we continue to provide our widely used UN-Negotiating Guide and other pro-family educational publications. Thanks to that gift, we helped protect marriage between a man and a woman in many states in America. Thanks to that gift, we were able to reach many thousands of African young people to help them make choices to avoid AIDS and prepare themselves for faithful marriages and successful families.

But our accomplishments have truly been a team effort, the result of the gifts of many volunteers and supporters. Our strength is the combined strength of a host of unselfish individuals and families who have generously assisted us, each gift being an essential part of our effort. To those wonderful supporters, I wish to convey my heartfelt thanks for your unselfish gifts.

My gift in return is to continue to serve to strengthen families–not only in my own home, but as a volunteer for UFI.  I make this sacrifice of time and effort because I know that families today must be strengthened and because what United Families International is accomplishing is absolutely essential. Counseling with my husband and family, we decided that this service would be our gift to other families.

This particular holiday season as we give to friends and family, resources are very strained. The economic and political conditions of our world have created very difficult financial situations for many people and charities have suffered immensely.   Whatever your means allow, I invite you to join our family of UFI supporters by making a gift for the benefit of families around the world. It is a gift that will endure, and it is urgently needed.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Carol Soelberg
United Families International

How United Families Readers respond to Weekly Poll Questions

Here’s how you, our readers, answered a couple of poll questions:

Should doctors and other medical professionals have the right to “opt out” of procedures that they find morally objectionable?

100 percent                        Yes, that right should be maintained.

0 percent                        No, as a professional they gave away that right.

For additional information on this topic:

Pitchfork politics: the feds are targeting conscientious doctors

Pro-Life Doctors at risk of Losing their Rights

Does it bother you when abortion is referred to as a “holocaust?”

10 percent                          Yes, it’s very inappropriate.

86 percent                          No, because that is what it is.

4 percent                           It is, but people shouldn’t make that comparison.

What’s up with Religion

The religious environment is changing is the conclusion of the Barna Group Research as they announce their “Six Megathemes Emerging in 2010.”  An analysis of 5,000 interviews conducted over the last year showed some trends that reflect some concerns regarding the status and strength of religion—particular for those who claim the title of Christian.

1.       Biblical literacy is declining and accurate theological understanding is suffering as well.

2.      Christians are becoming more insular, associating primarily with members of their faith or congregation.   There is increasing reticence to have “faith-oriented” conversations with acquaintances.

3.      Priorities are geared away from spiritual concerns.  Spiritual beliefs and attitudes are becoming more superficial taking a backseat to day-to-day physical and temporal needs.

4.      Active community service is increasing, but it is based on perceptions of what is socially acceptable and inspired by contemporary “justice” themes.  The commitment to serve, however, is quite shallow and probably not sustainable.

5.       A new understanding of “tolerance” is overshadowing a correct understanding of gospel principles.  Christians are becoming “tolerant of a vast array of morally and spiritually dubious behaviors and philosophies,” all in the name of an incorrect understanding of what it means to be “non-judgmental.”

6.       Faults of the Christian church are focused on rather than Christianity’s contribution to life and society as a whole.  “The Christian Church is in desperate need of a more positive and accessible image,” state the report.

The report also offers suggestions and ways to move towards improvement of the problems identified.

This is an important work that has implications for all religions.  To read more on Barna’s Six Emerging Megathemes, go here.

 

New way to look at Population and Poverty

“Poverty:  Where we all Started” is the title of a clever video produced by Population Research Institute (PRI).  It discusses some of the myths surrounding poverty reduction.

“Reducing the number of people in the world doesn’t make those who remain any wealthier,” says Joseph Powell, the creator and animator of the series. “That’s why, as we show in our video, population control isn’t the answer to poverty.”

You can also see some of their other videos on the myth of overpopulation here.